Cowboy

To a very special cowboy.

My heart aches for you. My heart aches for your wife. My heart aches for all your very large family. My heart aches for my husband, my son and me.

We're going to be losing our cowboy sometime soon. The doctors say anywhere from two to eight months. Four words: two to eight months. Four very powerful words.

We've been out of town the past few days. We got "the" phone call last Wednesday night that B's dad was not well and was going to the doctor and for a CAT scan on Friday. Thursday we drove half way, slept, got up and stopped at Wall Drug for an hour of fun for Thomas. On the road again, we walked in B's mom's house. Cowboy and wife weren't home yet from the doctor appointment. No sooner had we walked in than the phone started ringing. It was Mrs. Cowboy, B's mom. She said that the small hospital was sending him immediately to a larger hospital via ambulance right now. She was coming home first to eat a sandwich and pack a bag, and would B please drive her over to the other hospital. I didn't want to interfere or intrude, plus I did want to shelter my son from an emegerncy room visit when things were seeming very dismal. I stayed home and went to the grocery store and bought tons of sandwich meat, bread, bananas, butter, chips and pop for B's siblings and their families as requested by Mrs. Cowboy.

Later Mrs. Cowboy and B returned looking exhausted, worried and upset. It seems the Cowboy had a bleeding brain and what appeared to be a brain tumor.

The next day everyone drove to the big hospital. That day we also learned there was a tumor in his lung as well. Then we faced the weekend where hospitals aren't very busy, tests aren't run, and things are at a snapping turtle's pace. Monday morning comes in with the hope of action, more tests and answers.

The tests and answers came today as my family was back on the road to Minnesota. We couldnt stay any longer. Tonight B received the sad news of two to eight months.

When I was alone with Thomas, I was gently honest about what was to transpire. No one in the family to this point has even mentioned the word cancer. It's beyond their grasp at the moment. Since I'm a little removed, I can say it -- with respect and sadness. Thomas and I had a long discussion about what would transpire. I knew with a brain tumor and a tumor in the lung that things were not good. The cowboy is 81 years old. I knew, I felt it. I talked. After Thomas cried and cried, I said maybe I shoudn't have told you. His eyes got huge and he said you HAVE to be honest to me, it wouldn't be fair.

The Cowboy is having moments where he's with us and then when he's not. It's sad to watch, but heartwarming when he's his old self. The day Thomas and I visited him, he was having a very bad off day. We walked in the room and he smiled and said, "Hi, Thomas!" Thomas gave him a great big hug. As a mother, I was so touched because I saw the love oozing out of Thomas in his face. Grandpa Cowboy asked him if he'd like to go get some biscuits and gravy -- a pasttime that the two boys, and B, have enjoyed in the past. Cowboy turned to me and smiled a great big grin. He then said, "You changed the color of your hair." I had to laugh! Out of all the relatives, he was the only one who noticed I had gone from golden brown to a very dark brown hair color. It made me smile and warmed me to know that he noticed that.

In the scheme of things, Cowboy has lived a long and good life. We knew this was coming as he wasn't well the past few months. But until it really hits, you don't feel it.

We're feeling the pain now.

B took Thomas and I to dinner last night to get out of the house and to be alone. We sat at a Pizza Hut and both B and I burst into tears. There we sat in a crowded restaurant, lost in our own worlds crying. I was touched because my sometimes aloof husband grabbed for my hands and said some beautiful words to me. He said this is making me appreciate those I love even more. And then the tears all started up again.

The big strong cowboy is falling and we can't catch him. Death is a part of life. But none of us are ready for the Cowboy to go. I hope (and pray) that he is not in a lot of pain. I hope that he can have a death with dignity. I wish this weren't happening.

One of my happiest memories of my Cowboy was in the late 80s, before we were married. Cowboy had invited us to his sister's house as they were branding. I soon learned branding was a very social event. While I was too timid to help catch calves, I climbed up the fence for a good view and watched the day. I grimmaced when the babies were branded because darn that had to hurt. I watched Cowboy on his horse. I knew I was watching the real thing -- the real cowboy. He helped teach young kids how to catch the calves. He taught an older cousin how to brand. He taught a niece, in medical school, how to give injections.

He wore his cowboy hat and boots with pride. I knew I was watching something special. It was a day I have never forgotten, nor have I forgotten the image of him up on his horse.

I've never seen Cowboy without his cowboy hat or boots. He always wears western wear. He knows his job, he knows his animals. He saved us from a rattle snake last summer.

Cowboy is a man of few words. He has a grin, though, with a devilish sense of humor that I have always appreciated. Cowboy and I also shared something together that no other family member could be involved on. He sat on a month-long trial as a juror in a case that I was the court reporter. I couldn't go to his house during that trial, and my judge forbade me from sending a birthday cake into the jury room on his birthday. But we had that trial we shared together. And when it was all through, we enjoyed discussing it together.

I feel so empty. I wasn't very close to the cowboy, but I liked him, he made me feel welcome into a family that I didn't always feel very welcome. He was a good man, warts and all.

Ah, cowboy, my heart is aching for you.

And so it goes

We've been trying to enjoy the last bits of summer here. The pool closes this week and we'll hit it two more times. The county fair starts today and we're going tonight. We didn't finish many of our projects for the fair and so Thomas only entered two things. Thomas designed and made a newspaper box for me. He also entered a buzzer he made in scouts. When we were at the fair yesterday entering his projects, I felt so bad that I didn't push harder to get things done.

We all vowed to enter something next year. I know I said that last year, but I really mean it. My husband is going to paint a picture. Thomas has the list of things that he was going to make for this year, and I'll have to think of something for me to enter.

We will also check out 4H. Actually, I told my husband that *he* gets that honor. I do too much with scouts, homeschool, play dates, field trips, etc. It's DH's time to take something on. To my surprise I found out that DH was in 4H when he was a kid! You learn something new every day.

All three of us are enjoying the six new hermit crabs we bought a couple weeks ago. I need to post pictures because in an ugly sort of way they are cute. I still can't hold one. I've lasted for about two seconds. I can pick them up by their shells, but they're just too creepy looking and I don't want them climbing on my hand. They are a lot of fun to watch. Many times I'll get up in the middle of the night (insomnia!) and turn the black light on and watch them. They are very active then.

Last night Thomas and I were picking up and organizing the school room. He came across his logic book, looked at the first page and freaked. What is a hertzog? I don't get it! Mom, you can't make me do this. Oh, the horror. So just for fun, I grabbed a pencil, told him to breathe and let's figure it out. I told him that when the book came I had to call dad in to help me figure out the first page. I was freaking myself because I didn't get it. Well, once he calmed down and got some oxygen in his system, I slowly read the directions and then said let's attack this head on. He looked at the page, then looked up at me and screeched: I GET IT! And he did. And then he proceeded to work the first 15 pages of our logic book within about five minutes. He wanted more, but I told him to stop because we needed to save some for school. I have a feeling I'll be buying more logic books this year. And that's okay! =)

Look! Our fantastic science experiment...

NOT.

Warning: This post shows the author has no class, no decency and extremely questionable housekeeping skills.

Further proof that I am not a domestic goddess. Went on a major grocery shopping spree and had to do a quick clean of the fridge to get it all in. This nice little item was up on its side in the far right back behind two cases of pop. Who knows how long it was there.

We all got a glimpse and said, "Cool" in unison. lol

Now if you *really* knew me, you'd know I wouldn't be showing my faulty housekeeping abilities online with photos. But I have to disprove the theory that I am a dosmestic goddess. Will this one get me off the hook?

I will admit that this was the worst thing I have ever found in my fridge in my life. But as I said, it was also cool. We all looked at it for a good five minutes. And it didn't really stink, either.

I'm ticked!

I decided to go blog hopping this afternoon. All my favorites at homeschooljournal.net (and homeschooljournal.net itself) have been hacked. I think that whoever is responsible for this ought to be stripped naked, hung by their toes in a public forum and beaten.

DeFacED By eMP3R0r Hacking Team

Sorry, but I love memes...

here's another one that I found at those weird homeschoolers.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Never.
2. What color are your eyes? Blue
3. When was the last time you went sledding? Last winter.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Sorry, honey, but alone.
5. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Kinda/sorta
7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Who cares? lol
8. Who was your first crush? 5 years old, his name was Tim. I was in the hospital with a dislocated arm and his mom was my nurse. He was in my K class and when I got back to school, we were suddenly in love.
9. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Of course.
10. Have you ever been ice skating? Yes, as a child and I tried two years ago. The man behind the counter at the rink laughed his butt of at me. I made one lap and gave him back the skates.


11. How often do you remember your dreams? Daily.
12. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? The other night when I told Thomas he could not watch a certain show and caught him watching it. He was completely convinced I had said it was okay. It just struck me funny and I got the giggles.
13. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles? Of course, and I can sing them too, but no one would want to listen as I can't sing.
14. What's the one thing always on your mind? Thomas
15. What talent do you wish you had? no clue
16. Do you know anyone in jail? Well, kind of. I was a court reporter for 11 years so I met people that were incarcerated on a daily basis. A few names and faces popped into mind that I know are serving life sentences. That's the extent of it, though.
17. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? I don't know.
18. Have you ever been punched in the face? Nope.
19. Do you own any stuffed animals? I couldn't part with my stuffed panda that DH gave to me. He had tied a ruby ring to its bow as a gift. I gave it to Thomas.
20. Do you have a major crush on someone? Not at the moment. I do get taken with stars occasionally, though.


21. Do you miss someone right now? Well, to see in person, I suppose -- but thank goodness for the telephone.
22. What are you listening to right now? The beautiful hum of the air conditioner.
23. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Hmm, Princess Diana made me sad, John Denver made me sad, but I don't think I cried. I cry for noncelebs, though, even if I don't know them -- sad stories tug at my heart.
24. What color underwear/boxers are you wearing? White.
25. Where do you work? At home.
26. What ended your last relationship? ???
27. What food do you crave right now? Nothing at the moment, just had left over spaghetti.
28. What was the last TV show you watched? Last night I watched Sex and the City.
29. What is the last thing you ate? Spaghetti.
30. Are you on any medication? Yes.


31. What side of the bed do you sleep on? That depends -- as you're looking at it or as you're in it? When I'm in bed, I'm on the right side.
32. What color shirt are you wearing? A gray t-shirt.
33. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream shakes made by Thomas. That's his specality.
34. How many tattoos/piercing do you have? Ears are pierced, never wear earrings though.
35. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Again? No. If my husband were to leave, by whatever means, I'm done.
36. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble? Of course.
37. Do you like your nose? Don't care? It works, so I'm happy.
38. What color is your bedroom? Purple and white.
39. Where do you live? Minnesota
40. Are you an aggressive driver? Absolutely not.
41. What color is your car? Which one? (We're a used car lot.) My favorite is the old van and it's gray.
42. What do you smell like right now? Coffee and stale smoke, probably.
43. What is your favorite color? Anything pastel.
44. What character from a movie/TV most reminds you of yourself? Yikes, I'd have to think about this for awhile. No character comes to mind -- I'm too unique. lol
45. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Only to DH and Thomas. I am so not a touchy-feely person.
46. Do you own a digital camera? Yes.
47. What books, if any, have made you cry? Tons, I cry easily.
48. Are you a jealous person? Sometimes.
49. delted, this is a g-rated blog.
50. What shoes are you wearing right now? Shoes? In the house? In the summer? None.


51. What is your major weakness? Nicotine. Food.
52. Do you suffer motion sickness? Yes.
53. What's the best pizza? Pizza Hut Pan, cheese lovers.
54. Longest relationship? 16 3/4 year marriage, been together 19 years.
55. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? Not anymore.
57. Have you ever given or been given an engagement ring? Twice.
58. What was the last gift someone gave you? Beautiful flowers in June.
59. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My husband.
60. Can you cook? Yes, I can, but I don't enjoy it.


61. What is your favorite jelly/jam? Grape.
62. Can you swim? Yes and I love to.
63. What is your first memory? Being put to bed in our travel trailer when it was still light out. I screamed and cried and was ticked off because everyone was outside having fun but me.
64. What item would you like to have buried with you? Nothing but clothes to cover me.
65. What are three things you're dying to have right now that would make everything just about perfect? Better health, more love, money.

Domestic Goddess???

Does this look like the kitchen of a domestic goddess? The sink contains yesterday's lunch, supper and snack dishes, plus today's breakfast and lunch dishes. I could have had this *done* in the time it took me to snap the photo, upload it and blog about it, but I couldn't have anyone thinking I'm actually a domestic goddess. I'm only a wannabee.

Why is it?

Why is it that when I lie down in bed at night I can think of a million things to blog about, yet when I sit down at the computer, my mind goes blank?

Friday afternoon was fantastic. Thomas and I went to the pool, there were only about 15 kids there -- at the most. We couldn't have asked for a more wonderful time! The water temp was perfect, the weather was perfect. We swam for four hours. I had taken enough money to hit Wendy's on the way home, and I was so glad I had. We were exhausted -- Thomas even fell asleep in the car on the way home! We devoured our sandwiches and passed out.

Saturday I spent cleaning my kitchen. It was in dire need of attention. I got everything done but the floors scrubbed and the walls washed. I hoped to do that today but instead put my attention on laundry and the school room.

I bought a few workbooks this year for Thomas. He's a leftie and hates writing in workbooks, so I spent a good hour cutting them up. Only one had perforated pages that I could tear out. It was so tedious that I did something I shouldn't have. I got out my rolling blade for quilting (can't think of the correct name). It had a brand new blade and I didn't have an old blade. I used that on the workbooks. It worked great, but was expensive. Those blades aren't cheap.

Tonight I played at the computer typing up our daily schedule. I couldn't make a 4-day school week happen, but I did get in a 4 1/2 day week. On paper at least. We'll see how it goes, but I would love to have free Friday afternoons.

I also tried to burn CDs for the next Hakim volume from audible. Well, I don't know what I did, but I'm going to have to call them again. I ruined two disks and it kept telling me that something was too fast. ??? I am so hopeless.

My friend Jo posted a great entry on lists. That made me laugh because my life is ruled by lists. I thought of her today, though, and didn't make a list for the day. I needed to see if I could get through the day without -- and I can proudly say that I did! However, rest assured, tomorrow I'll be doing lists again.

Saturday night we rented a bunch of movies. I rented The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio yet again. I don't dare share how many times I've watched that movie, but it's a lot. I usually move the DVD player to the kitchen and play it while I'm doing something constructive. Last night I had homeschool stuff scattered across my bed and watched and worked. I'm at the point that I can officially say that I am obsessed with this movie. I grew up with a very negative mom and in this movie the mom is so positive. I think my brain is just craving that positive energy. Even though I'm not my mom and have worked very hard at being positive, Evelyn Ryan, played by Julianne Moore, still teaches me a thing or two.

I'm weird, I admit it.

I told my sister she needed to rent this movie. We don't always have the same tastes in movies so I was very worried whether she would like it or not. She said her entire family watched it and they all loved it -- even her husband. Sis even surprised me by saying that this was now her all-time favorite movie.

Well, I guess I'm not alone in my love for the movie, but I probably am with my obsession! lol

I think it's time for bed.

withdrawn from life

I had a conversation the other night with someone I'm very close to -- related by blood. She informed me that I had withdrawn from life. She stated it in this context: You know what your problem is? Actually, it's our problem. You have withdrawn from life.

Huh???

When I questioned her on this she snapped at me: "When is the last time you contacted 'Jane Doe'?" who was a high school friend. I told her that high school was 23 years ago and that I had no interest or desire to contact Jane Doe because our interests had changed, she chose a professional life (she's a physics professor) and has no children. We both grew and our common bond (high school) was no longer there.

"Yes, but." My relative said this. Yes, but. So I waited. She stated that I am a hermit. I hide in my house. I don't go out, I don't have friends and I don't do anything.

Excuse me???

She stated that I don't like people and I have admitted it. Well, that's partly true. I don't like some people and I did state that.

So according to the blood relative, the definition of a hermit who has withdrawn from life is:

A mom, who is an introvert, who likes to stay at home.
A very active volunteer in Cub Scouts.
A mom who homeschools her child.
A mom who hates carting her child around and taking him to classes, but does so anyway.
A mom who initiates play dates.
A mom who meets friends in the park for play.
A mom who goes to others' houses so kids can play and moms can gab.
A mom who takes her child to the beach, parades, community events, walks, zoos, swimming, etc.
A homeschooling mom who joins the local homeschool group and does one activity. (Okay, she may have a point on this one.)
A mom who keeps in contact with local people that I have no common interests with and don't share the same beliefs because said mom is open to having her child exposed to all different types of people.
A mom who endures four weeks of sitting on the benches watching swimming lessons.
A mom who is constantly on the go.

A woman who chooses her friends wisely. I'd rather have a few friends that are close than many acquaintances, although I do have many acquaintances.
A woman who has a best friend that is so special and vital to my life -- one that I have phone contact with (at least two hours at a shot) once a week, plus emails. (Said friend lives three hours from me.)
A woman who has made good internet friends. Friends that I have stayed in weekly contact with for six-seven years.
A woman who is fortunate enough to have the best online homeschool support group imaginable -- 10 fantastic women, 11 including myself) that I can share almost anything with. These women are so great that I have met five of them in my travels.
A woman who is in tune with herself and knows that she is an introvert and needs to recharge at home.
A woman not afraid to make choices to benefit her needs.
A woman who follows her interests. While I don't have the time to jump into things that I would if I didn't have a child, I still have my hobbies.

Oh, shoot, I could go on and on.

The conversation then took the turn of past friends. For some reason she thought I didn't stay in contact with anyone in the past. Not true. I keep in contact with good friends from the past. Not daily, not weekly, but a few times a year.

I was a little defensive with this person. I was also floored with the "withdrawn from life" statement. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's like homeschooling, you teach to your child's strengths and weaknesses, you figure out his learning style and go with it. Well, I've figured out my life style and I make no excuses for the way I live. I go with what works for me.

After about two minutes of reflection on this conversation after it ended, I came to the conclusion that said relative was projecting her own issues on to me. It's so much easier to find fault with others than to be open and honest regarding self. Although sometimes a fresh perspective from a friend is of value, I don't think that's the case here.

Sure, I have issues...I'm fat, I would rather stay at home than be in a large crowd. I would love to have a close friend who lived in my town. I get down every once in awhile. I get frustrated with my husband. But all of those things ARE life. If I would have withdrawn from life, none of those things would ever bother me. I'd be too busy being numb.

So rest assured sweetie, I have not withdrawn from life. And neither have you. If you had, you wouldn't be thinking.

Kittens for boys!

Today the "old man" called from work and announced he was taking the rest of the day off and we were heading off to civilization. (Nearest town with some actual stores.) It was the day to buy DS's hermit crabs. That's another post for another day.

We hit Office Max, then I dropped the old man off at Barnes and Noble while Thomas and I hit Hobby Lobby. Trust me, that's a good thing because when the old man isn't around at Hobby Lobby, I have more fun.

We spent an hour at HL and then went back to B&N. We were starving and waiting for old man to finish up and I walked around the bookstore. I came to a table where there were calendars, planners, assignment books, etc., for back to school. There was a mom with two boys, the older appeared to be about Thomas's age.

I watched him grab the perfect planner. "Mom, mom, this is the one I want!" He was so excited. The mom took one look at it and sighed. "Honey," she said, "This kitten is really cute, but I worry the kids at school will tease you over it. Then you won't use it. Then we'll have wasted money yet again. Pick out a different one."

This made me SO sad. Why can't a young man pick a planner out with a cute kitten on the cover? Are boys exempt from enjoying the little critters? Truth be told, I actually completely understood what the mom was saying. She was trying to prevent hurt feelings because she knew the little imps at public school would shred him to pieces over his "girlish" planner.

I was thinking I should go tell her about the joys of homeschooling. Nah, she didn't look the type. I also thought about going up and saying how sad the whole situation was, that he should get the kitten planner if he wanted. I didn't think she'd appreciate that.

Thomas saw the whole thing, too. When we walked out of listening distance he said, "I'm so glad we homeschool, mom, and that you let me buy the cute planner with the puppy and kitten on it."

Yes, boys can like kittens. They can have kitten planners. Thomas won't be teased for his choice. I love the freedom from "socialization" we have homeschooling.

Monday evening

It's been hot again lately. Currently, at 9:25 pm, it is 84 but with humidity, the heat index is 91. Ugh. I'm so happy to report that the latest air conditioner repairman actually fixed the air conditioner. I could just kiss him -- nah, never mind, but I am very thankful.

Thomas is still working hard at swimming lessons. He has grown and improved but he still needs work with his coordination and endurance. He's having a blast, and that's what counts. We'll be done Friday, and I'm very thankful. This second set of swimming lessons has been wonderful for me! I'm the only mom that stays to watch. There are only seven kids in lessons, so two classes. Thomas has 4 in his class. I've been reading, planning school, watching, and zoning during lessons.

I worked on the classroom a little today. It turned into the dump-all room this summer. I'm trying to dig out. Ugh. Of course it doesn't help that I bought a desk and a small table at an elementary school garage sale to add to the mess. Oh, and two hermit crab cages and three -- yes, three 10-gallon aquariums. I'm giving one away, but will keep two. I guess this will be the year for critters. How can I say no for something that costs $1?

I also made the sad realization that we have only one thing completed for our upcoming county fair. Thomas has 14 days to get creating. This is all my fault and I feel really bad about it. Darn it all, I'll blame it on the hot house, the air condtioner not working most the summer, and the fact I went into a weird zone because of it.

I also made the realization we have not done many fun summer things. Why? Because I've been stuck home waiting for air conditioner repairmen -- yeah, the ones that said they'd be there that day and then didn't show. On my kitchen table I have $260 worth of AC bills -- the latest go round, to three different companies. We still need a new evaporator installed and that's going to cost $325. And I've already paid $150 in June for repair. And this is all for a two-year-old air conditioner. UGH. May I count the $100 hotel bill? I think I should because I would have gone insane had I not had *one* night of cool. That's a lot of money to try to stay cool.

It's time for a mad dash to do some fun things. We'll try to enter three-five things for the county fair, I want to take Thomas swimming and to the beach a few times, plus make a voyage to civilization and buy his hermit crabs. Also on the agenda, if he finishes On the Banks of Plum Creek, is a trip to Walnut Grove, Minnesota. That's a lot to do in little time. Oh yeah, I have to finalize our school. Ugh.

Where did the summer go? I know technically it's still July, but it just seems I blink and a week, month or even a year is gone.

But...at least it's cool, 74 degrees in my house. Ah.

This is scary!

I don't drink, honest! Must have been the messy hair that gave me a Barney ID. Thomas, his dad and I have been laughing like crazy over this tonight! You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Great things this week

In hopes of turning my half-empty attitude into a half-full attitude, I've decided to blog about great things from my week.

1) The air conditioner is fixed! Woo hoo, just in time for upper 90s.

2) I was able to turn the oven on and bake something this week.

3) A charity from the Twin Cities had a curbside pickup, so we donated five big black garbage bags of clothes and stuff. Grateful because we have to make an appointment with our one and only local charity, Salvation Army, to drop stuff off and they turn down off-season clothing. Curbside donating is fantastic, and it's a great charity. (Epilepsy Foundation)

4) I was very glad to have signed Thomas up for another go of swimming lessons. He could have officially passed the last round, but the teacher I and both felt he needed more practice to develop endurance. He's enjoying himself, he's getting better and he's having fun. I'm having a blast this time as I am the *only* mom watching!

5) I am grateful for happy snuggles in the morning. I love waking Thomas up by rubbing his back. His first reaction is always a great-big smile. I'm thankful that he doesn't feel too old for this. There's always lots of love, smiles, hugs and giggles in the morning.

6) Got my Rod and Staff English order placed, plus started downloading the Hakim series. I just have to order some science supplies, clean up the schoolroom, and we're ready to rock 'n roll.

7) This one is funny. I'm glad Thomas beat me at air hocky. We have a fantastic air hocky table in our dungeon -- uhm, I mean basement. We play every once in awhile but I always beat Thomas. For the first time ever, he beat me fair and square. Corny, but it made me happy -- he's growing up, gaining skill, getting good.

audible.com -- WOW

For school next year, I decided we needed Joy Hakim's books on CD. We have loved listening to SOTW on CD on car trips short and long and I knew Hakim would be a hit. We have already read a couple of her books, but it's nice to have something to occupy one's mind while in the car.

A few months ago I asked my handy-dandy husband to join audible.com and download the books for me. No problem, he said. We purchased the disks and they sat. They gathered dust. My husband would much rather play Runescape than anything else on the computer.

I have to admit that somewhere along the line I became behind the times. I just recently figured out what an MP3 player is, and all those other "devices". I remember in the '80s people came to me with computer problems -- shees, now I am clueless. Here's a big admission that I shouldn't make: I have never, until today, made a CD on the computer. Not pictures, not books, not music, not back-up, nothing. I use my little hard floppies because I know how to do that.

How stupid is that!!! Well, I decided today was the day to get over my stupid technological phobia and get on with life. I called Thomas down, because he has no computer fear, and we logged on. Went straight to audible.com, bought our membership, and then I got stumped. Thomas got bored and was of no help and he quickly disappeared. I got to a screen that wanted me to pick my device. Well, I have no device, I just want to make CDs. It didn't give me the option I was looking for.

I decided I'd just spent $150, I needed help. I called customer service. I was fearing the worst (or maybe I should say normal). Boy, I couldn't have been more wrong in dreading customer service.

This was, hands down, the best customer service I have ever received. I felt like such a stupid dope not being able to figure out how to do this. The rep never once made me feel stupid. He answered my initial question and then volunteered: Why don't I stay on the phone with you and walk you through the entire process. Well, bust my buffers, I was shocked. We were on the phone for 23 minutes! (My phone shows the time of the call when I hang up.) He walked me through, he showed me shortcuts, he explained all kinds of things such as what to do if I have a computer crash or lose power, how many minutes a CD will hold (77) . He was personable, he laughed at my stupid jokes I made. He was wonderful!

I hung up the phone feeling like an expert. Wow. You just don't get customer service like that and I am elated and felt like sharing it with the whole world. He even emailed me after the phone call, which was a form email, but he added a nice little personal note to it. Audible.com, you rock!

What's even more exciting was hopping in the car with my newly burned CD and finding it actually worked!

I purchased the 12 credit package for $149.50. You get all the credits up front, and I wanted the whole thing on disk to start the year. I got an extra credit for joining. So now I'm off to search for three good books to download besides Joy Hakim's series. By the way, this was a heck of a lot cheaper than buying the disks online.

I love books on CD. We "car school" often and I'm overjoyed that I have added to our collection today!

Tagged again!

Ah, getting tagged is fun. Scooby at The Maples Academy for Girls has tagged me.

What were you doing 10 years ago?

10 years ago I was working full time as a court reporter -- putting my 40 hours in weekly plus working nights and weekends on transcripts. 10 years ago today I had a beautiful baby boy who was nine months old and the joy of my life. 10 years ago today I was heartsick because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom desperately but my husband was finishing up his degree. I was sick every morning I had to drop him off at daycare.

What were you doing a year ago?

The exact same thing I am doing now. Mom, wife, homeschooler, homemaker, zoo keeper. I'm *very* happy with this career choice.

5 Snacks that you enjoy:

1. Peanut M&Ms
   
2. Air-popped popcorn
   
3. Chocolate milk
   
4. Pretzles -- the frozen kind
   
5. No-bake cookies (I hardly ever make them because I eat them all until I'm sick)
   

5 Songs you know all the words to:

1. Hotel California (my all-time favorite song)
2. Willie Nelson's Stardust CD -- I used to sing every single song along with Willie in my car until my family finally complained enough to get me to stop
3. Dare I admit this one: Kelly Osbourne's Shut Up (Yes, I was one of the five people that bought her CD. I love that song Shut Up and wish someone good would record it.)
4. Bad to the Bone, George Thorogood (I know lots of his songs by heart, he's DH's favorite)
5. Bruce Springsteen, Dancing in the Dark

5 Things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Move
2. Adopt two kids
   
3. Build a big house in the country away from neighbors
   
4. Set up a college fund for my son, and then give a small amount for college to nieces and nephews
   
5. Buy new cars for DH and I -- DH gets the truck of his choice and I get a blue Mustang
   

5 bad habits:

1. cigarettes
   
2. overeating
3. napping in the afternoon
   
4. complaining
   
5. cigarettes (this is so bad it gets two spots on the list)
   

5 Things you like doing:

1. Spending time with Thomas
   
2. Homeschooling
   
3. Gardening (when it's not too hot lol)
   
4. Sudokus
   
5. Travelling

5 Things you would never wear again:

1. A bikini
2. Jumpers (I'm not talking denim jumper dresses -- never wore one so I could never wear one again. I'm taking jumper pantsuit things from the 80s)
   
3. Wire bras -- ouch, been poked too many times
   
4. pumps
   
5. pantyhose
   

5 Favorite toys:

1. computer
2. digital camera
3. CD player
   
4. telephone
   
5. caller ID
   

I am tagging:

Wisteria, because she enjoyed being tagged so much the last time!

Anyone else who isn't too busy. I love reading these so hope some people do it!

The Invasion of Invader Zim

We've had an invasion at our house. Thomas started watching TV again this summer and found a cartoon that he fell in love with. Invader Zim. I have watched several episodes with him and I just don't get the attraction, but then I'm not a 1o-year-old boy.

Thomas saved his money and wanted to buy action figures. (Not to be confused with dolls!!!) Sadly, the show is out of production and everything is expensive. So we turned to Ebay, bid on an auction and won. Very expensive dolls -- er, I mean action figures.

It was Christmas in June at this house. Thomas ordered four figures and it took us 27 minutes to open all the plastic packaging, undo all the twist ties and get everything out. I remember fondly the days where things just came in a cardboard box. Sigh.








Thomas has enjoyed his action figures very much, even though they cost him an arm and a leg. Really, what 10-year-old boy wouldn't love a cartoon that names its pop "poop pop" and its candy "poop candy"?

one night of cool

We actually had two nights of cool this week. It was absolutely wonderful. Sadly, today we're back to living in a hot house. I miss home. Home would be either South Dakota or Wyoming. Home the evenings cooled. Home there wasn't humidity.

I have a one-track mind lately. Hot, hot, hot.

Last Friday night it was so cool and nice outside I made the boys go out and play. They played a few games of horse. My nonsports-loving child will actually play basketball with his dad and is even beginning to pass a football with dad, too, although he hates it. He plays because he doesn't want to hurt dad's feelings.

Edited: What a difference a computer makes. On the boys' computer, you can actually see the photo of Thomas and his dad shooting a basket. On my old faithful computer, you can't. I guess I should have snapped the picture when it was lighter out (or learn how to photograph in the dark!)

I'm not the only one...

in a bad mood right now. Misery loves company, right? It makes me feel "less alone" to know that others are cranky right now, too. The first two blogs I read tonight were on this very topic of being in bad moods.

I've been miserable for a couple weeks.

Heat. Freon leak in the air conditioner. No central air.

If momma ain't happy, nobody's happy. Amen to that.

We've had problems with our air conditioner all summer. There's a leak and they can't/haven't/won't (whatever) find/fix it. A week ago Thursday I called, the repairman came out in the evening, added freon and it quit three hours later. He came again Monday to add freon but not look for the leak. It lasted less than three hours. He said he'd be back...he didn't show this week.

Because we are homeschoolers, we happened to have an unopened bag of 10 thermometers. We opened the bag and all are taped to walls in each room now. We've experimented with how to keep rooms cooler. We've determined which room in the house is the coolest -- the master bedroom, thanks to our ash tree. We've also determined that a kitchen that is constantly 89-93 degrees sucks, to put it bluntly.

Some may think I'm being a whiney baby. (My dad, my sister and probably some of my friends.) We did, after all, have two days of heaven on earth yesterday and today with highs in the 70s, but during our last heat wave it was miserable. Living in Minnesota also means living with humidity. High humidity. It means that a kitchen that is 93 degrees is actually over 100 degrees if you factor in the humidity/heat index. Next week we're expecting another heat wave.
Whine, whine, whine.

My plan of action is this: Monday morning I am calling the repairman and demanding a date certain when he is going to tear our unit apart to run the dye tests to find and then fix the leak. If it is not Monday or Tuesday I'll say thanks, hang up, and start calling until I find someone that can come Monday or Tuesday. This thing is getting fixed now.

I don't know a single person in my little town that does not have air conditioning. When we were looking for houses here nine years ago, the thing we found amazing was that even the cheap, run-down $30-40,000 houses had central air. We moved here from western South Dakota. A place that is not humid. A place that we lived 10 years without air conditioning, one year with. It's different here. The air is so thick you can't breathe.

On a brighter note, we were able to be outside today because of the lower temps. We went to a nearby town that was having city-wide garage sales. What a blast we had. My reluctant shopper (Thomas) scored bigtime.

We parked the car and walked blocks and blocks hitting sales. Then we saw a sale in a church. Thomas didn't want to go in, but being the shopper I am, I insisted. Payday. I was looking at the toy section and unearthed a huge box (18-quart roaster box) 3/4 full of legos. We figure there are a few thousand in there, including a Harry Potter set! $15 for the entire box. We guessed it was several hundred dollars worth of legos. And poor Thomas had just been complaining that he didn't have enough legos to build anything really cool. lol Thomas and the neighborhood kids sat in our driveway tonight for hours and built and built and built! Way cool.

Thomas also scored on the pet front. I blogged a long time ago about hermit crabs. Well, this procrastinating mom had not ever purchased the crabs and setup. Well, today we found two hermit crab habitats, complete with toys, dishes, even food. $3. (I'll probably throw the food away) The nice lady even told us where we can get hermit crabs in our area....beats mail-ordering! We'll drive 60 miles to buy some crabs.

We also picked up two 10-gallon aquariums. Every garage sale has these it seems, but we got them for $1 each. (We were promised they don't leak -- lol) One has a lid, the other DH will build a lid for. I think we'll use one for more hermit crabs and I don't know what we'll use the other for -- I guess it depends whether they leak or not. I'm sure Thomas will waste no time figuring that out.

We spent five hours at garage sales today. Got home, ate a late lunch and I completely passed out for an hour. While it was cool today, I think that the heat has drained me so bad that I could barely function.

And back to our air condition woes, one more story. Last Sunday it was so hot here that I turned into a raving mad woman. Much to my husband's dismay (spending too much money) we ended up at our local Holiday Inn for the night. We swam in the pool, enjoyed ~hot~ Godfather's Pizza while basking in the 68-degree room. (Yes, I took a thermometer!) We swam some more, then I made Thomas get out of the pool.

Why? There was a family swimming. They had a very tiny baby in a diaper. Okay, now when Thomas was a baby we took him swimming in a diaper, but that was before we learned of e coli in swimming pools plus it was before the swim diapers were invented. Now that bothered me but not enough to get out of the pool. They also had a son, cute as the dickens, about 4. He was having a blast until he jumped in and bit his lip. He started bleeding profusely. Okay, maybe not profusely but with a mouth injury, the saliva makes it look profuse. So instead of getting the kid OUT of the pool, they sat him on the edge of the pool and used the pool towel. The towel was blood-soaked. He was dripping blood, dangling his feet in the water, and he dropped the towel in the pool THREE times. I had Thomas out of the pool, and I marched straight to the room and called the front desk. They came and made them move the child away from the pool. Then they left. They didn't close the pool, and I don't think that they added any chemicals. Now I know for a fact that they close and treat the local public pools when something like this happens.

What bothered me was we watched people get in the pool until 11. I know the likelihood of the little boy having any bad diseases is probably nil, but it *really* grossed me out. Enough so that I may not visit a motel swimming pool for a long time.

That's about it from the raving mad woman.

Oh, did I mention how hot it's been lately?

Movies

I was just reading Twice Bloomed Wisteria's blog and I got to thinking of movies and how they have touched my life -- for good or bad.

Thought I'd share my favorite and least favorite movies and why.

Favorite movie:

The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio.

No other movie has touched my life more than this movie. If you haven't read the book or seen the movie, it is about a mom of 10 and how she saved her family from "living on the street" by contesting in the 50s and 60s. She won a few major contests and many, many smaller prizes using her wit writing jingles and poetry. She was an amazing woman with her literary skill, but even more amazing was her attitude toward life. Her husband was an alcoholic and drank most of the money. She didn't let it get her down and was upbeat, positive and a true inspiration.

This is one of the rare instances where I actually liked the movie better than the book. I loved the book, but the movie just came to life for me. I have watched this movie more times than I dare admit. The reason this touched my life so deeply is because Evelyn Ryan, the prize winner, was so positive. My mom was so negative. I've been more positive than negative as a mother, but nothing like Evelyn Ryan. I catch myself stopping and thinking before popping things out of my mouth now. I find myself actively looking for the silver lining now. I find myself complaining less about my husband and focusing more on his good qualities now.

I think this will be my favorite movie forever.

Okay, now for my least-favorite movie. I know many people who love this movie, but not me.

Dumb and Dumber.

Why is this my least favorite movie? Because I saw it when I was pregnant with Thomas. There were a *lot* of gross scenes in that movie. It was the only time during my pregnancy when I vomited. I can't even think of that movie without getting upset to my stomach. My husband will watch it whenever it's on TV. Thomas has even watched it. Me? I just hear Jim Carey or Jeff Daniels' voice and I run the other direction.


What is everyone else's best and worst picks?

Tagged...5 Things

I've been tagged by Jo! This is probably a pretty boring list.

5 Things…..

In my fridge:

12-pack of Diet Rite (mine)
12-pack of Diet Coke (DH's)
2 packs of provolone cheese -- on sale couldn't resist
bagels and cream cheese, Thomas's favorite
Thomas's homemade nacho cheese experiment that is about a week old

In my Handbag:

at least 25 grocery lists
at least 25 receipts
three dollar bills and a handful of change, probably mostly pennies
a couple of most towlettes individually packed
two library cards, belonging to me and Thomas

In my Wardrobe:

Several sets of clothes in different sizes. Ahem, sadly I'm wearing the largest size at the moment
A stack of Thomas's baby clothes that I couldn't part with including the outfit we brought him home from the hospital in
Thomas's baby book
a golf club
hidden stocking stuffers/gifts that I find throughout the year (shh, don't tell Thomas)

In my car:

8 noodles we use at the beach
3 folding chairs
2 bags from Wendy's that I need to sneak into the garbage when DH isn't looking
2 watergun toy wrappers from today's dollar store purchase that Thomas left
my cleaning kit...a box of wipes, a packet of Windex wipes and a microcloth for dusting the inside of the car

5 People to tag…..

Becky
Mull-berry
Mother Crone
Samuel
Wisteria

This is just too weird

I was going to blog about swimming lessons tonight. Before going to blogger, I was checking my favorite blogs and also telling my husband why I don't like swimming lessons.

What is weird is Audry blogged almost exactly what I was going to post! Thomas started lessons today and I was excited about visiting with other moms and came home thinking, "I'd rather have a root canal than sit and listen to all that."

We've done private lessons in the past and I think for my sanity we may just do them in the future. Plus Thomas will get all the attention that way and it would be really good for him because he's overwhelmed with all the new strokes he learned today.

Question of the day

Thomas: Mom, I have a question.

Mom: Shoot.
Thomas: (Blushing) Well, uhm, never mind.

Mom: Please, if you have a question, just ask it.

Thomas: Well, it's a dumb question.

Mom: NO question is dumb.

Thomas: Remember that movie we watched where the astronauts peed in their suits?

Mom: (Laughing) Yes.

Thomas: So is that how astronauts do it, they just go when they need to? And how do they, well, you know.

Mom: Good question. I don't know the answer, let's Google it.

Our Answer

Always in the front of a 10-year-old boy's mind: toilet behaviors. lol

Another Meme

Sixty-Two Question Meme
I got this from Those Weird Homeschoolers.

Call me strange, but I love to read these all the way through. It's a fun way to learn about people.

1.How old do you wish you were? 32

2.Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was on the internet at my cleaning group in chat...we used to chat for 5 minutes, then clean for 30 minutes. When I heard I was glued to the TV all day for several days. Thomas was in kindergarten and I was severely depressed missing him so my chat buddies were helping me. My depression skyrocketed that day.

3.What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Nothing, I haven't had money stolen from a vending machine because I hardly ever use them. If it did happen I'd probably say, "Oh sh*t."

4.Do you consider yourself kind? Very.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? Never, ever, I admire them on some people but I could never do that to my body. Spider veins are bad enough.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Spanish

7. Do you know your neighbors? Sadly, yes. Most are -- never mind, not worth sharing.

8. What do you consider a vacation? One night in a motel would be a vacation. Going to inlaws, no. Going to dad's, yes. A real vacation is getting on a plane and going to a destination of my choice.

9. Do you follow your horoscope? Rarely

10. Would you move for the person you loved? Yes and I have

11. Are you touchy feely? Only with my son, otherwise keep your distance

12. Do you believe that opposites attract? My hubby and I are living proof that they do. He's a right-wing conservative and I'm not.

13. Dream job? Being rich enough to not have to work -- second choice, working in a greenhouse.

14. Favorite channels? Bravo, watch it daily. Movie channels.

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? What, people go places on weekends? Besides Kmart or the grocery store?

16.Showers or Bath? Shower daily but enjoy long soaks at night in the winter.

17. Do you paint your nails? Who has time!

18.Do you trust people easily? Not at all.

19.What are your phobias? I-25 in Denver.

20.Do you want kids? Well, I wanted a bunch but was blessed with one. Sore subject.

21,Do you keep a handwritten journal? No.

22.Where would you rather be right now? Hmm, South Carolina or Disney World

23.What makes you feel warm and safe? My house.

24. Heavy or light sleep? Either or. Suffer from insomnia but sometimes I am so exhausted my husband can't wake me because I'm snoring. (Did I admit that?)

25.Are you paranoid? What makes you think I'm paranoid? Who told you that? Where did you get that idea???

26. Are you impatient? Sometimes

27. Who can you relate to? Almost anyone. I can get along with almost anyone and find things that I can relate to. There are always things I don't like (especially discipline issues) but I try to find the good in all. Except a very angry male senior citizen that I know, I cannot relate to anything about him nor do I want to.

28. How do you feel about interracial couples? This is a stupid question. I don't think any differently about interracial couples than I do any other couple.

29. Have you been burned by love? No, but I've burned.

30. What’s your life motto? Live and let live.

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? I have no idea. I have a different ring tone for everyone who calls me on my cell and there are few that I give my cell number to.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night? Surfing, looking at gardening websites.

33. Who was your last text message from? I don't do text messaging.

34.Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Our bed.

35. What color shirt are you wearing? None. I'm in a nightgown and robe. They're both pastel blue.

36. Most recent movie you watched? The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. LOVE it.

37. Name five things you have on you at all times? Skin, hair, gray hair, zits, undies. I don't wear jewelry, not even my wedding ring. My wedding ring was my great-grandmas and when I had Thomas my fingers grew and it doesn't fit and I don't want to have it resized because there is an inscription in it. I've always meant to buy another but never gotten around to it.

38. What color are your bed sheets? Two sets, one set is a tie dye type purlpe the other is pastel yellow.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now? ZERO. Spent it all today. I never have cash.

40. What is your favorite part of chicken? I hate chicken but eat chicken breast.

41. What's your favorite town/city? Charleston, South Carolina

42. Who got you to join MySpace? I have never joined

43. What did you have for dinner last night? Spaghetti with meat sauce, garlic bread and a salad.

44. How tall are you barefoot? 5' 5

45. Have you ever smoked crack? No and hell no. I am *very* anti-drug.

46. Do you own a gun? Yes, several.

47. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Very strong coffee with fat-free half and half

48. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? I'm damned old for that stuff!

49. Do you have A.D.D.? What was the question again? Possibly.

50. What time did you wake up today? a little before 9

51. Current worry? When will DH sell that junker in the driveway and when will we get finish painting the trim on the house.

52. Current hate? Strong word, but extreme dislike for my neighbor across the street, otherwise known as the angry senior citizen. He's mean to all the kids in the neighborhood, verbally attacked me and I wish he'd just move into a retirement home.

53. Favorite place to be? With Thomas, sometimes with DH too ;-) and always at home.

54. Where would you like to travel? Disneyworld, all over America. I'd like to visit battlefields.

55. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? Don't like to think that far ahead because Thomas will be grown and out of the house. The only thing I know for sure is that if I'm still alive, I'll have completely white hair by then. :(

56. Last thing you ate? a few bites of left over spaghetti

57. What songs do you sing in the shower? I never sing in the shower.

58. Last person that made you laugh? Thomas

59. Worst injury you've ever had? In 3rd grade I fell off the crossbars at school on my face and the right side of my face was swollen so badly it was about double in size. I could only eat with the opposite end of a spoon things like applesauce, cottage cheese for almost two weeks. Couldn't see out of my eye. It was complete misery and the right side of my face is a little higher than the left because of it. The day after this happened was Thanksgiving break and my mother made me travel with the family to visit friends for Turkey day. That was pure hell for me. Worst was stopping on the way at a restuarant where I still remember being gawked at like I was a freak. (Well, I suppose I was a freak.)

60. Does someone have a crush on you? Giggle, yeah, right

61. What is your favorite candy? Peanut M&Ms

62. I can't wait til..? Hmm, tomorrow for a brand-new day.

A Day at the Beach

We had a great day today. We were off to a slow start because once again we stayed up way too late, but when it took off, it was fun.

We went to the beach and swam all afternoon. While in the lake, I saw four children ride up on their bikes unaccompanied by an adult. The four kids ran into the lake like they owned it and promptly started slinging sand and rocks at each other. I took a closer look and recognized two of the four children. These kids never got sand or rocks close enough to anyone else in the water or on the beach, but every adult there sat up and watched them like a hawk.

Thomas and I were in the water and they inched their way toward us. The language I heard from these kids made the hair on my neck stand up, and I'm no stranger to bad language. It just stinks coming from 10-year-olds. The two kids I knew used G-D and F more times than I have in the last ten years. If their mothers knew about this, they would be horrified. Both moms are very devout Christians and don't swear.

As I watched, I thought about the fact that I would want to know if Thomas behaved in this manner while I was not around. (I know kids do things when parents aren't around and that is a part of growing up.) I had to chuckle because Thomas won't say a bad word, let alone spell it for me. (If he's relating a story about one of his friends used bad language.) He does say "sucks" which I hate, but I'll take that any day over a word that rhymes with suck. ;-)

Anyway, as I was watching I just couldn't help but think about the fact that these kids were unsupervised. Call me overprotective, but I don't think kids should be in a lake that does not have a lifeguard without an adult. At age 10. I don't know what age I would feel comfortable with that, but 10 seems to young to me.

One of the kids' moms works for the area Youth Foundation. She tells and teaches people how to raise their kids and provide them with good opportunities. Hmm, I don't think swearing like sailors at age 10 and flinging sand and rocks at each other is exemplary.

Thomas asked if he should go say hi as he knows the boys and I told him NO. The funniest thing about these kids was that one boy finally recognized me and when he did make eye contact with me, the first thing out of his mouth was: "This is boring, let's get out of here NOW." I was laughing about that!

They scurried away and all the adults on the beach laid back down, started reading books, etc.

After the beach we grabbed a bite to eat, came home, showered and relaxed with some movies. Thomas made supper for his dad: grilled cheese sandwiches and Spaghetti-Os. lol

This was the first day we got to the beach this summer! And I thought the same thing I always think when I'm in the water: Why don't we do this more often! So we've made plans to meet friends two times next week.

Now, if only we could come up with a sunblock that isn't greasy. . .

anniversary

My mom died 13 years ago today.

At the time of her death, I was extremely co-dependent on her. Time heals all wounds, and I can say that she has continued to teach me even though she's gone.

I had an awakening period where I was very angry at her. This started a few years ago and lasted a few years. Mom was very similar (minus the alcohol) to Joan Crawford. I am not over-exaggerating here. My sisters and I sat down and discussed Mommy Dearest one day and we all thought we were reading about our mom. It was not startling to us as it was to the rest of the world, it was normal. I think that book was the turning point when the three of us realized there really was something wrong. I was the golden child so didn't receive her wrath nearly as often as my other siblings. However, in my mid-30s I realized how manipulative she was toward me.

I worked for 11 years in my profession. I had a best friend that I stayed in contact with for a few years after I left to raise Thomas. One day Teri and I were talking on the phone and she informed me that during one of my mom's first visits, a time when I took mom to my job and introduced her to people, mom took Teri aside and told her that I needed to be watched over because I was very immature, naive and didn't know how the world worked. She did this on a mother to mother basis because Teri was about 15 years older than I.

I was absolutely horrified when I learned of that. That was the end of the relationship !!! (Trust is a huge issue with me.) The funny thing is I was extremely mature, responsible and I wasn't naive. I did know how the world worked. I worked with hardened criminals every single day. I worked with lawyers every day.

This little episode is just the tip of the iceberg on how mom was a master manipulator. In respect of her memory, I won't share more.

I am finally at a stage where I'm over my sorrow, my anger and my loss. Now I can look back and see some of the happy memories I had with mom. I can look at the bad things in a new light: She was ill. She did the best she could, she loved the only way she knew how, and she lived her life the best that she could under the circumstances. She had many wonderful qualities and I wish she had had the opportunity for therapy because she could have been so much more.

I now look at it like this: Take her good qualities and run with them. Mom would have put Martha Stewart to shame. She could cook, clean, sew and craft amazingly well. Learn from her mistakes: Type A personality, master manipulator, one of the angriest people I have ever known: Do not repeat.

There's a little voice inside my head that talks to me as I am parenting. It always asks a question: WWMD? (What would mom do?) Sometimes, I go with what mom would do such as teaching about how to clean, organize, teach good work ethic. Usually that little voice crops up when I need to do a 180 and the exact opposite of what mom would have done. It crops up when I need to bite my tongue so that Thomas can learn from mistakes. It crops up when Thomas does typical 10-year-old things that mom would have nearly killed for.

She continues to teach, although she'd be surprised at how those lessons are applied.

Mom, I love you anyway. Live and let live.

Homeschool Meme

I haven't had anything to blog about lately, so was glad to find a homeschool meme at the Imperfect Genius blog.

1) What country/region/state do you live in?

Minnesota

2) How long have you been homeschooling? Just getting started, old pro or somewhere in between?

Just starting our third year! Wow, where does time go!

3) Write a little something about your family. Ages? Stages?

One ten-year-old son, starting 5th grade.

4) Share some good homeschooling advice you’ve run across.

My own advice is to follow your heart. We know our kiddos better than anyone else, their learning styles, their likes, their dislikes, and what they need help with. I think if we listen to the little voice inside our head, we know the correct path to take.

5) Tell us something you’re passionate about (besides your family and homeschooling, those are givens!).

I am very passionate about genealogy. Very. It's my thing. Gardening is another passion of mine.

6) If you could take the ultimate field trip, where would you go and why?

The ultimate field trip would be an American history study in an RV visiting all the states. I'd like to see old homes, battlefields, museums, etc. In that field trip, I'd also like to visit my ancestors' towns, homes, places of work. (Many of my ancestors worked in places that are now a part of the national parks. While I would enjoy this, I don't know if my son would or not.

7) What is a resource you can’t do without?

Hands down, the internet.

8) How do you homeschool? Classical, Charlotte Mason, Waldorf, Unschooling, Eclectic?

Frankie method. Okay, eclectic. Actually I should say Thomas method. We homeschool to suit his learning style, which is varied. We unschool in science, we follow a classical outline for our history studies, we follow our own style for everything else.

9) Share a website or two that you visit often - can be your favorite blogger or a curriculum supplier, just any sites you really like.

Doc's blog, bloglines to keep track of the blogs I read, the blogs listed on my sidebar, and yes, I read The Well-Trained Mind's boards on a weekly basis. I'm also in lots of yahoo groups.

10) Tell us about one of your favorite projects/activities/trips you’ve had in the past few months.

Well, in Nov of 2005 we got on an airplane and visited Columbia, South Carolina for a week. My husband was working there and we went with him. We fell in love with South Carolina, hit every museum we could find, a wonderful zoo, toured historic homes, swam and even ate at a Waffle House Restaurant. (We were quite surprised there were more of these than McDonald's.) We also drove to Charleston for a day and toured Ft. Sumter, the South Carolina Aquarium, and an evening walking ghost tour of Chraleston. I must add that we met a good internet homeschool friend and her kids while we were there, and that was the highlight of the trip for me!

11) What is a current/previous homeschooling challenge you’ve faced?

Teaching Thomas speed, focus, concentration.

12) Share an accomplishment, something about you or your children. Come on, brag about it!

Well, I don't draw the line from homeschooling into activities, so I'll share that Thomas has won his Cub Scouts pack's Pinewood Derby two years in a row and also won the District Pinewood Derby two years in a row. Quite a feat, because those derbies are highly competitive. He spent many hours working on his cars and learned a lot.

13) What are you looking forward to over the coming year?

Starting up again in September! Taking an afternoon off here and there to go swimming. Tons of science that we -- Thomas actually helped -- have planned. The breaks that I worked into our schedule. Those wintertime blues really got to me and I planned some good breaks after the new year to help.

14) Name three things you like doing in the summer with your family.

Going to the beach, gardening with Thomas, sneaking off on a hot evening to get a McDonald's ice cream cone. Have to put in a number four here: Little excursions around our area, such as visiting Walnut Grove, MN to play in Plum Creek, or going to the Sioux Falls Zoo for the day, visiting the Jeffers Petroglyphs. I want to get to the Grotto of the Redemption in Iowa this summer, but Thomas doesn't want to go there even though it would be a great reinforcer of our geological studies this year. I think I'll make him go anyway.

15) Have a favorite homeschooling quote? Share it here.

Not a favorite homeschool quote, but a favorite quote I try to live by: Live and let live.

Pretty!

Flowers always make my day, especially when they are unexpected! A great-big thank you to my cousin/best friend for the surprise! The photo doesn't do the arrangement justice.

Too Scared to Sell

I have three boxes of homeschool stuff I need to unload. While I have been buying on Ebay forever, I have never sold and frankly, I'm almost too scared to try. I'm equally scared to sell on the homeschool boards.

Some of the stuff I have I will give to friends, such as flash cards, books that aren't in the best of condition, but I have some stuff that we have outgrown that are worth some money. I would imagine I could make enough to buy all the science supplies I want, plus some.

So why am I so scared?

If I try to sell on Ebay, I know to get a new checking account so that our main account isn't tied up with Paypal. I've heard horror stories about freezing checking accounts and I'd be close to death if that happened. I know how to accurately describe what I have. I'm just a chicken.

I don't know how to do shipping. I'd want to charge a very small fee for shipping and handling -- meaning I'd go out and buy something to ship the books in. I don't know how to do shipping charges, though. Personally, I don't buy near as much on Ebay as I used to because of shipping fees so I'd probably do media mail. I think everything I have qualifies for that.

I'm just a wimp. All I need to do is jump in.

Someone tell me to do it. I don't want to be tripping over boxes for the next month.

Ugh.

Oh what a mess!

The majority of next year's school books arrived at our house. They've been sitting on the kitchen counter for way too long.

I started to clean the school room today. Here's two boxes full of stuff to sell. I ran out of boxes, so the school room looks like this:

Oh what a mess. I find it very hard to get rid of stuff. The stuff in the foreground is 3rd grade completed work that I can't seem to get rid of. Uhm, we just finished 4th grade.

I've been sorting for an hour and now I'm just procrastinating. I want to finish this room today so that I can reclaim my kitchen. For some reason I am just not enjoying this process. I wish we had a room that was larger than 9x9! I wish I had more book cases! I would really like to get another 4-foot table so that Thomas and I each had our own workspace, or else we had a space to house fish tanks, hermit crabs, plants.

I wish for a lot, but none will come true (except maybe another table) and it is time to force myself to complete the task.

We're Crazy!!!!

All this late evening I've been surfing and my husband has been surfing on his computer. Thomas was in bed, fast asleep. We've also been smelling chocolate cake.

So I happen to notice the clock. It reads 12:20. I look to my husband and say:

ME: Honey?
DH: What!
ME: It's 12:20
DH: Yeah, so.
ME: It's my birthday.

He turns and looks at me, and we both are smiling evil grins. Without another word, we both jump out of our seats, run to get Thomas up and out of bed. When he was awake and in the kitchen, we slammed candles on the cake. Didn't have 41, so we made the number 41 with the candles. We lighted them, I made a quick wish, blew them out...and we ate cake.

Thomas has brushed his teeth and is back in bed. DH is getting into bed as I type. I'm sitting here laughing, because doing what we did is exactly the way I like to celebrate things. Crazy, out of order, unexpected.

I have a feeling it is going to be a wonderful day. DH even said he'd take the afternoon off, so we'll have to come up with new plans.

I love being weird!

Growing With Grammar 4 is now available!

Growing With Grammar is a fantastic grammar program. The author, Tamela Davis, started with a third-grade level and has just completed her fourth-grade level.

I have not seen the fourth-grade level, but my son worked through GWG3, so I'm positive that it is as fantastic as 3.

I like to compare GWG to Rod and Staff. Rod and Staff is a great program, although it's time consuming and writing all those sentences out by hand is excruciating. Also it is very religious. Growing With Grammar is to the point and very well laid out. Anyone of any faith or lack thereof can use this program without any hesitation. GWG's coverage is "just the right amount" whereas Rod and Staff tended to go on and on and on. Also, with Rod and Staff, we have to do grammar 4 days a week in order to complete the book in a year. GWG covers the same ground but it can be done fewer times a week and be finished in the year.

I just read on the GWG website that the author is going to write a 1st/2nd grade combo program and will also be working on her 5th grade program, both due out in spring of 2007.

My son was behind on his grammar skills, according to his 3rd grade CAT5 results. We did GWG3 in 4th grade and his English test scores on his 4th grade CAT5 went way up. (Yes, they were above grade level.) That, IMHO, is proof that it is a good program. I really do believe that her program helped give Thomas the boost that he needed.

Growing With Grammar

June 27th

When I was a kid, it was my favorite day of the year. Now it's just another day -- or maybe it's a day when I get sad and miss my mom, who had a gift for making birthdays special.

Another year older. Another year wiser. Another year, more gray hair. I'm getting old. It beats the alternative, though!

Birthdays were always a big deal to me. I make a big deal out of Thomas's birthday as well as my husband's. They don't for me.

This weekend I went to the store and bought a chocolate cake mix and chocolate canned frosting. I told the boys that I will be getting a birthday cake this year. Then I pointed to the mix. DH got the hint and I'm proud to report the cake is cooling. =) (All the dirty dishes were stacked in the sink for me, though. lol)

I'm tired of crappy birthdays and decided I need to take it upon myself to have a great one. So tomorrow shall be a selfish Frankie day. I deserve it, right? ? ?

Thomas and I will go out for breakfast. I have not decided where we will go yet. Truth be told, I love an Egg McMuffin. However, a nice, sit-down breakfast would be nice too. We will then depart for a day of shopping. Ah, in my little town I should say a morning of shopping.

My husband did not buy me a gift this year because I nixed what he was going to get me. (A swing for the back yard.) It isn't enjoyable going in the back yard anymore because the neighbors on our north just hacked down all the privacy shrubs and there's no privacy and the neighbors to the south are always outside with their #$%# poodle that barks incessantly. When I go out to garden, I always check to see if Yappy is outside before I head out.

So I think I'll buy myself a gift, but I don't know what it will be yet. I want a food sealer, but my mom's words keep echoing in my head: Don't buy gifts for the house, buy them for the person. She hated any appliances as gifts because she called it a gift for the house. And she's right. Mom also hated money as a gift because she would use it for groceries. I disagree with her on that, I love getting money as a gift because then I can buy what I want.

Okay, so breakfast out, a morning of shopping, I think that Thomas and I shall go to lunch at a bar. My town has many lakes and there is a bar/restaurant that has been there forever. It was built on the lake. It is a busy place, smoke-filled in the evenings, but great for lunch. The food is greasy but fantastic. I think a pork tenderloin sandwich is in order. We'll go after the busy lunch crowd and look out on the lake. In the winter this place is great because we sit and watch cars driving over the lake. To this day it freaks me out seeing cars driving on the lake. Our town looks very similar to the town in the movie Grumpy Old Men. Ice huts everywhere. In the summer, this restaurant is great because we get to watch all the boats come to the dock and the people come in to eat.

I'm at a loss for what to do in the afternoon. Maybe a movie? Thing is, I don't like sitting through kids movies. We did just go see Over the Hedge and I actually enjoyed that movie. I think the theater is showing the Garfield movie. I know it's showing Click. I wonder if that's appropriate for a 10-year-old! Another idea is to drive to the next down east and go to their motel. They will let you swim for $3 an hour. Maybe that's what we'll do. I just am not in the mood to go to our local swim park because it's loud, noisy, full of kids dropped off for the entire day, and I know for a fact the pool is half bodily fluids.

I'll let my husband surprise me for supper. He's a good cook, or he can take us out, either one. Then we'll have cake.

What a boring birthday, but it will do. Birthday small-town Minnesota style.

I could get together with friends, but everyone wants to go to the water park in the summer and I just don't. Aside from what I already mentioned, I don't hear well and with the water spraying and gushing all over the place, I can't hear to have a conversation there.

41. Definitely middle aged, feeling and showing it, but loving the fact I get smarter and better every year.

A Relaxing Sunday

We had a very relaxing Sunday at our house. Thomas and his dad continued playing games on the computer, played some games and read some books. I putzed around the house all day, finally settling in at the kitchen table with my books, pencil and paper.

Thomas decided he wants to work through How Nature Works first. After studying the book for awhile this afternoon, I find it doesn't provide as much information as I would like on certain topics. That will be easily remedied because we have tons of science books.

We'll start the book out of order doing the plants and fungi chapter. I grabbed my book Simple Nature Experiments with Everyday Materials to plot our game plan. I made a list of things to buy and then hit the internet.

I checked out Edmund Scientific, Carolina Biological, and Home Science Tools. For what I wanted, and the quantities, Home Science Tools was my best bet. I spent an hour perusing their website, putting things in the wish list. I saved the wish list frequently. When I was done, I had a very healthy wish list, healthy enough to make my husband complain.

We ate a nice homemade Mexican meal that my husband prepared and I came back to the computer with credit card in hand. I can't believe it, my wish list was empty! Is that a sign that I should not be ordering all those science supplies? It couldn't be me, I know I kept hitting the save wish list button. Great, now I'll have to start all over.

I will start over. Tomorrow. I'll need to get my list and remember that Sal Soda, the term used in the How Nature Works book, is actually sodium carbonate or good old washing soda. Yes, I admit it took me five minutes to figure out what Sal Soda was. And I guess that doesn't even matter because I can buy that locally.

I did learn that I need to order my iodine solution online because they iodine they sell in pharmacies is alcohol based and may not work with some experiments whereas the iodine sold online is water based.

I swear I'll learn more science than Thomas will.

I've heard of literature-based education, classical education, but has anyone ever put together a science-based education? Thomas loves science, is very good and intuitive with science, and our upcoming school year is going to revolve around science.

And me, the poor mom who always hated science class, will finally love science. (I can hope.)

Bad mom!

I blew it today. Really blew it.

Early this afternoon the computers were forced to be shut off due to a thunderstorm. The boys had to give up Runescape! What a wonderful thing, because we played three games of Blokus in a row. I might add that Thomas won two of the three games. He is really getting good at thinking ahead, seeing his moves, etc.

After the games we decided we needed lunch. As I was preparing lunch, Thomas was putting the game up. Well, I left my tall cup of coffee on the table next to the games and next to my Reader's Digest How it Works series of books, six in all, Rebecca Rupp's Home Learning Year by Year and The Well-Trained Mind. I had been reading the books and trying to decide which to do first before the boys brought Blokus up.

Well, can you see it coming? Tall cup of coffee, over $100 worth of books next to each other?

You guessed it, Thomas knocked over the cup of coffee. Luckily, though, the coffee was only centimeters from the books. I jumped, Thomas jumped, then I yelled. I yelled because as I was bringing over a couple of dish towels, Thomas started cleaning the floor not worrying about the coffee that could get "the precious books."

As I was yelling, Thomas pushed the chair out of the way. In the process, the roller went straight over my toe and cut it. Okay, so mom yells even more. Loudly. (It really did hurt.)

We got the mess cleaned up and I started apologizing profusely. I took Thomas in my arms and I started to cry. What had just happened was an every-day occurrence in my childhood. My mom flew off the handle every single day over stupid things. I told Thomas the story about when I was his age I had planned on spending the night with my friend Julie. My mom and I were eating lunch and I knocked over my glass of milk. My mom started yelling (the same as I had done over the coffee) and then forbade me from spending the night as punishment. I told him how awful I felt because it was an accident. He whispered he felt the same way, he didn't intentionally spill the coffee. I hugged him tighter and said, "I know." As I was hugging him, I kept thinking I'd come unglued if someone treated him the way I had just treated him.

We had a good, long talk about what had taken place. I told him my response was reactionary, that I had not thought about what I was doing at all. I also told him that is what my childhood was like and it is kind of a learned response. We then discussed what learned responses are. I told him how wrong I was, how stupid my actions were, and apologized again for hurting his feelings. Anyway, when all was said and done, he said some precious words to me: "Mom, you're not mean, everybody makes mistakes. Your mom didn't apologize, but you did. You're a good mom." And then I cried some more.

I screw up all the time, I'll readily admit that, but today's was bad. I just hate yelling. I hate it when I do stupid things, especially when they are at the expense of my son. Even with a heart-felt apology, the sting of my yelling will not be forgotten.

Oy.

ew!

I took Thomas to breakfast this morning. We went to McDonald's so he could get hot cakes. Who calls them hot cakes? We always call them pancakes.

Anyway, we took a seat by the pop fountain. We're sitting there eating and this woman runs up to the pop machine, hits the water button and proceeds to wash her hands right there. In the pop fountain. I couldn't believe my eyes. Washing her hands in the pop fountain. Ewwww!

If you know me, you know that I can't keep my mouth shut when an opportunity arises. Thomas was sitting with his back to the fountain, so very loudly I said, "Thomas, quick turn around and look, some idiot is washing her hands in the pop fountain." Of course Thomas, being a 10-year-old boy loudly proclaimed, "Ewwwww, that's sick."

The woman turned and gave me the "you're evil" stare, grabbed some napkins, dried her hands and stormed off.

Just then one of the employees walked by and I got her attention. I told her the disgusting tale and she went over and cleaned the entire fountain.

What would possess someone to wash their hands in the pop fountain when there is a bathroom 15 feet from the machine? Huh? Is she afraid of using soap?

That was just gross.

Whew!

The rumors about the company laying off 70 people were only partially true. They laid off 20. Thankfully my husband made it through. My heart aches for the 20, though.

I was going to make sloppy Joe's for supper tonight. We decided that we needed to celebrate and go out to eat instead. How I wish we had an Olive Garden or a Cracker Barrel in town. We'll have to settle for the local Mexican restaurant. Luckily, the food is good there.

I was supposed to receive a Fed Ex shipment from Amazon today. I was all set to pour over new books tonight. It didn't come, darn it all. At least I can still look forward to its arrival -- plus the Rainbow order. I did get the new Rainbow catalog in yesterday's mail. Sadly, it was raining and a good portion of the catalog was soggy! I put it in front of a fan last night so the pages are dry and stiff. It seems to be thicker than last year's. Even with funky pages, I'll still spend countless hours enjoying the catalog wishing I were rich -- or had $8000 per student like the school district has. lol

Toying with Ideas

I have a lot of ideas I'm toying with in my brain...

1) Actually *starting* summer school.

2) Starting working on our daily chore cards again. Today I did manage to place them out on the counter, but we didn't do the chores. It works SO well when we do them...I just have the summer "don't-cares."

3) Cleaning out my basement. In the winter I always think what a great summer project that would be. Now that it's June, I think it would be a great winter project.

4) Starting Weight Watchers again. I am miserable, but not enough so to get off my butt and do something about it. I've been toying with this one for months. Once I actually start, I do great. It's just starting.

5) Setting up my cheap-o plastic outdoor table and doing school outside, in the shade.

6) Cleaning out the schoolroom. We're awaiting the arrival of lots of new stuff and I have no where to put it once it gets here.

7) Starting our county fair art project. I have everything purchased, a list of what to do...just need to do it. Oh, I guess we did start...Thomas is making a newspaper box with his dad. They started this past weekend. It is really cool to peek out into the garage and see my little baby -- I mean my big 10-year-old cutting wood with the band saw, the hand saw, a jig saw, running a sander, etc.

I have the summertime relaxed-mode feeling and just don't feel like putting effort into anything that isn't fun. Gotta get over that!

hmph!

My husband came home yesterday after work and informed me that there is a rumor floating around, from a very reliable source, that his company will be cutting 70 jobs from three plants this week. We're scared, but they've been doing layoffs since we moved here. Yuck.

My sunroof button broke in my car and so now it doesn't want to close. It's just by pure luck that I quit pushing the button at the right time to make sure it seals. I see a big bill on that.

It is 68 degrees today, has been raining the majority of the day, and humidity is 90 percent. We had the air off all morning but everything in the house is now sticky. Can't catch a break on the electric bill today, will have to turn the air on to control humidity in the house.

And to top off the lovely day I seem to be having, my son and I just arrived home from the library. He decided he wanted to do the library's summer reading program. The director came out to sign him up and Thomas's brain disappeared. He didn't know what grade he had just completed. I tried to make light of it and said we homeschool so we're not into the grade thing. Well, then the form required the school name. Thomas looked up at me in a panic and said, "Mom, how do you spell school?"

Okay, earth, open up and swallow me. This child is not the best speller in the world but he has been writing the word school for years now. And it was right on the form in front of him. Good grief! I joked, "Well, obviously we're not the best homeschoolers around."

On a brighter note, we did get his standardized test scores back and he did extremely well once again -- except for spelling. He scored at grade level in spelling. I think I'll have him write "school" on the white board 100 times this afternoon. Not.

Guess what I bought!

My husband is going to think I have flipped my lid. My son probably won't know what they are -- well, that's an exaggeration, but he's certainly never seen one in my house or on me.

I was shopping on Ebay the other day and I bought myself two

aprons.

Yup, the old-fashioned kind that go over your neck, tie in the back and have pockets. One is a very pretty floral and the other is a solid color. My husband will think that I've stepped back in time and turned into a 1950s kind of gal. He knows me too well and would never even hope that I would become subservient, though. ;-)

Actually, I am just a slob in the kitchen and I am sick of getting my shirts dirty. I thought an apron would be nice when cooking and then doing dishes.

I'll be anxiously awaiting their arrival. Only time will tell whether or not it was a stupid waste of $3 plus $6.95 shipping. lol