Wii

Today the library had its monthly teen Wii party.

Thomas was the only kid to show up. So he played. All by himself.

The librarian had her computer and worked while he played. He said toward the end, she played a game with him.

The library bought this and has teen parties and adult parties once a month. Thomas went in September, missed October, and then today. In September, there were three other kids.

The library is trying to give kids something to do, but no one takes them up on it. Meanwhile, upstairs in the computer room, kids are gathered around the computers playing Runescape. Go figure.

We thought of inviting some homeschooling friends to go with us next month, but they believe video games are evil. Thomas's best friend moved away. He has a few other friends, but they're hard to plan stuff with because they're busy.

So I wonder how long the library will continue having Wii parties!

And on a brighter note, I'm starting to feel better.

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hit by a flu bug today, I've been in bed most of the night, sleeping off and on. How delightful to wake up an hour ago, and watch CNN.

When CNN announced it, I literally had chills running up and down my body -- and it wasn't flu chills, it was excitement. I've been crying, too--tears of JOY. I literally sobbed tears of joy.

I have such great HOPE for our country now.

Now I pray (yes, I do that) that Obama picks a GOOD cabinet and gets this country straightened out.

What a HAPPY, HAPPY day.

YES!!!!!!!

I'm Hot

And no, I don't mean Paris-Hilton hot.

Today, in our part of Minnesota, it is supposed to be a whopping 75 degrees. In November. In Minnesota. Huh?

Yesterday was a warm day, too, and the neighborhood kids were playing in their shorts! In Minnesota. In November.

Last night my house was so hot that I had to open windows! I slept with the window open all night long, never once got cold, and woke frequently because the air smelled and felt so good. It was a lovely way to wake up, with that crisp air hitting me -- in Minnesota. In November.

I'm lovin' it. I know it won't last long, it's supposed to be in the 40s later this week. I dread the below zero temps that we'll face in January and February, and like last year, into March. Hopefully we won't have that in March next year.

For now, though, pinch me, it's 75 degrees. In November. In Minnesota.

Happy Belated Halloween

I didn't take photos of Thomas this year. He dressed up as Scream, the same as last year. We only had a dozen trick-or-treaters this year.

I saw this meme at Our Life Adventures and thought I'd play. Yes, I know Halloween is over, but I neglected to do anything for the holiday on the blog. So, better late than never.



Here are the questions:

Are you scared of bats?
No.


When you were a kid, did you go out on Mischief Night?
I have no idea what mischief night is.


What is your favorite trick-or-treat candy?
Peanut M&Ms


Have you ever seen a ghost?
I have not seen a ghost. I have felt one, on several occasions, though. (There, that's enough to scare off many readers for good!)


The most memorable costume you ever wore?
My witch costume, when I was 6 or 7. Mom took me to some Halloween play in the high school auditorium while I was in costume, and they handed me a clothespin when I walked in. At the end of the play, the pulled the few kids with clothespins up on stage and I won best costume. I don't remember what I won, but I remember the event. I had a green face and mom pinned a plastic rat in my wig hair.

Do you carve a happy or a scary face on the pumpkin?
Whatever we feel like. This year we did a goofy pumpkin and yet another vomiting pumpkin. I fear Thomas will always insist on the sickly pumpkin. When kids comment, I always tell them the pumpkin go sick because he ate too much candy.


Do you dress up on Halloween?
I haven't for about three years now.


Any cooking or baking you do for Halloween?
Nope.


Have you ever been to The Haunted Mansion at Disneyland or Disneyworld?
Yup.

Any element of the season you don’t like?
Fall is my favorite season. Well, spring is my favorite season of the year when February hits us because I'm sick of the nasty, cold winters here, but honestly, fall is my favorite.


What is your favorite scary movie?
Silence of the Lambs


Do you cook the pumpkin seeds from your carved jack-o-lanterns?
No.


Are you intrigued with vampires?
No. Although, I loved Angel when it was on TV.

Sunday Night

Well, here I sit, Thomas is in bed, Bob is asleep on the couch, and it's just me and the dogs. I'm very blue tonight, but I know the reason.

I have finally figured out a pattern to my insanity. See, I was beginning to feel I was going insane. Last month I had a panic attack, out of the blue, and it ticked me off. I had been doing so well. Well, yesterday we drove to Mankato and I had a panic attack on the way home. I was driving, and Bob was with me, so I pulled over and let him drive home.

It sucks, dang it, it makes me so mad. BUT, I've been keeping a journal and have figured something out. All these panic attacks hit when I am having a period. From the big one in Denver that landed me in the hospital overnight, to yesterday's, 90% of them were period-related. I think about 10% of them were just stress from Dad's death.

So, I do have an upcoming doctor appointment, and I feel so relieved to know that these hormones are playing with my head. So he's going to get an earful. That, and how painful the cramps are, and how bad the PMS is.

So while I'm feeling blue, I'm relieved. Hopefully there's something that I can do to get this under control.

~~~~~~~~~

Friday a new curricula arrived at our house. I finally bit the bullet and bought Analytical Grammar. It was always on my wish list, but the cost held me back. I had some money in my curricula fund, so I went for it. I have looked through it, and I love it. Thomas was a little intimidated by all the diagramming, but I think he'll do fine.

We are just about to finish up a cute little book I bought Thomas called Exercises in English Grammar. It was a lovely little book, and I enjoyed it and Thomas liked that it was easy. Very old-fashioned, to the point, and quick. We easily did a couple lessons a day. I didn't like that there was no answer key, but I'm confident we did well.

So tomorrow we'll start Analytical Grammar. They suggest using it as a two- or three-year program. We'll probably do it in two years and then be done. I'm not doing any more grammar. Ever. This is it.

We're also about to finish up with the outlining workbook I bought. It was very easy, but making the transition from writing outlines to writing from outlines has been difficult for Thomas. I'm not quite sure what we'll do thereafter. I'd like for Thomas to practice some paragraphs and five-paragraph essays.

We're about to start anew with math. We were using Rod and Staff 7. We are in the chapter 5 already, and it's all been review. Thomas still hates math, but he actually said, "This is too easy" last week, which really surprised me.

We have Lial's Basic Math, which we had started a year or two ago, and it's good, but it's too cluttered for Thomas. He really dislikes the slick pages as well. I know you shouldn't base a math program on cluttered pages and slick pages, but we do what works for us, and that didn't work for Thomas.

So, this weekend, while we were in civilization, I bought CliffsStudySolver Basic Math and Pre-Algebra. It's not cluttered, black and white, and good explanations. I think we'll be able to cover it by the end of the year. It does not have worksheets, so I'll be using them from this site. Or making my own. Or finding some from the multitude of math sites out there.

While at the book store, I also bought Kiss my Math by Danica McKellar. The books is written for girls. However, as I was flipping through it, I liked the way she explained some things, so I bought it. I'll just use what we need to. Very impressive book, Winnie Cooper. =)

I really struggle with the whole math thing. Thomas hates math with a passion, and he has always done better when we go off on our own. So I think this will work for him. We can work at our own pace.

We have never touched on negative numbers. I was reading the chapter on integers, or "mint-igers" as Ms. McKellar calls them, and enjoying her simple explanation. I then started asking Thomas questions about negatives. For a kid who has not been exposed to negatives, he sure was able to pop off correct answers, ordering integers from least to greatest. He was able to add and subtract them, too. Bob and I were shocked.

We had Thomas tested by an educational psychologist years ago. We were told he is a conceptual learner. Actually, he's a disabled visual spatial learner. lol That, according to Dr. Silverman herself. She told me not to repeat stuff that he knows. If he's got it, he's got it. I really need hit with a brick sometimes, because I think that practice makes perfect. Well, that practice was making for a difficult math year--again.

I think the trick with Thomas is to have some practice daily coupled with new concepts. My gut tells me, and our past successes, that that's how he works best. So I'll be going back to this site I posted about awhile ago that has free middle school daily math practice.

So it may seem like we're curriculum hoppers, I wouldn't label us that way. I think we're find what works well homeschoolers.

Whew, that's a lot of gab for a Sunday evening. And I'm actually feeling a little less blue to boot. I'm looking forward to our day tomorrow.

As I Suspected

We are having terrible winds today. I just happened to look out the back window only to notice our neighbor's dead tree, the tree I've worried about for years coming down into our yard, did.

I highly doubt this neighbor will help pay for the cleanup. Luckily the tree missed our basketball hoop and our shed.

I went out and looked, but didn't stay long. There are big, dead branches in his other trees, and when the tree fell, it cracked some of his living branches. With the wind we're having, I wasn't going to chance staying out there.

Thomas has been admonished to not go out there now or even when there is no wind.

I wonder what this will cost? I told DH that he's going to have to go talk nice to the neighbor to get him to get those broken branches cut off. If he doesn't, they'll come down in our yard, too.

These neighbors are senior citizens on a fixed income. I doubt they'll have the money to do anything.

Well, on a positive note, at least the tree is finally down, and no one or no thing got hurt. And when it's cleaned up, and the damaged trees are cleaned up, I won't worry so much anymore.

Ron Howard's Call To Action

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Going out of my Abba mind

Every day, Thomas has to listen to Abba while doing school.

Every day. Every single stinking day.

No other CD will do. I have tried to introduce him to new music. I got out my CD folder labeled "mellow" and started putting CDs in. We've listened to John Denver, Willie Nelson's Stardust, Bread, America, BeeGees...yuck to all.

We used to listen to classical music, but Thomas hated that. We quit. I actually got a Mozart CD out and slipped it in instead of Abba. He didn't like that one bit.

Last week I snuck in a George Gershwin Rhapsody in Blue CD. He listened, and I told him it was one of my favorite songs because it told a story with no words. He looked at me as if I was crazy. When the song had played twice (I put it on repeat--if he can repeat Waterloo, by golly I can repeat Rhapsody in Blue) he got up, pulled the disk and put Abba in.

And played it.

For the millionth time.

Abba, Abba, Abba.

I know all the songs by heart. I dream about the songs. Heck, I have nightmares about the songs.

Why Abba?

For Pete's sake, I like Abba, but I think I've had enough to last me a lifetime.

When Bob comes home for lunch, the first thing out of his mouth after hello is, "Abba, again?"

Yeah, Abba. Again.

Thomas wants another Abba CD, one with the songs that he knows that aren't on this CD. Thanks, You Tube. Thanks a lot. I am not looking forward to Ring, Ring.

But being the mom I am, I don't complain in front of Thomas. Instead I let it fester inside. I might tease him a bit (I am a gentle teaser, I think teasing can quickly become mean, so I'm mindful.)

He has always hated music. He's been exposed to music his whole life. I find it so odd, because Bob and I have always loved music. I like about anything except country, but I'll even listen to some country. When I was a teenager, I had every Kenny Rogers record there was. What was I thinking? I had other stuff, though. I didn't listen to Kenny Rogers day after day after day.

Interruption of my blog post: Thomas just informed me, right this second, that he thinks we should get another Abba album, so he can hear things like Eagle and Ring Ring.

Mom bangs her head on the table.

When Thomas was a toddler, he hated music. We'd go to a little kid event, and all the kids would be dancing in the aisle to the silly music, but not Thomas. It was so beneath him.

The only good thing I have to say about Abba is that Thomas, for the first time in his life, will SING. He sings Abba songs on almost a daily basis. That is music to a mother's ears.

However, I am still sick of Abba.

I'm thinking of getting myself an iPod shuffle so I can listen to other stuff while he listens to Abba.

And speaking of iPods, that great stereo I bought (aside from playing Abba 90% of the time) has been wonderful. We have just about finished up our SOTW disks. And I discovered I didn't need to buy an iPod for the thing, because it has an iPod docking station. I went to Radio Shack and bought a plug-in for $5 and we can play our Creative Zen on the stereo. That was big for me because I didn't have to come up with money for a more expensive iPod. Whew. I can pick up a Shuffle for $49 at Wal-Mart. That just may save my sanity.

So here we sit, listening to Abba, doing school and now the neighbor starts up his leaf blower on the vacuum setting and he's vacuuming the street again. He does this every other day. Still.

I really need a Shuffle.

I think I've posted about Abba before. Ad nauseum. I probably will again. Sheesh.

Sold

Dad's house is officially sold.

About an hour and a half after getting the news, I broke out into uncontrollable sobs. It hit me like a ton of bricks.

I'm going to give myself a few days to mourn. It's almost like losing Dad all over again. Kind of. It's just weird.

My safe haven is no longer. My kitchen table chats are gone.

The house now will remain in my heart, mind and photos.

It's all so final--what I wanted, but it hurts nonetheless.

This too shall pass.

Ouch

DH and I just filled out our new insurance forms. For almost the same coverage (slightly lower deductibles) we're going to be paying $50 more per paycheck. That will add up quick.

It was an uneventful weekend. Well,I got something done that I really needed to get done that was highly stressful for me. I putzed around the house. Thomas was hardly to be seen as he was out and about running the neighborhood with his friends.

Dad's house is scheduled to close tomorrow. I am praying it goes through. I'm sure it will.

Tomorrow is Bob's birthday. He's getting old. Will celebrate by taking him to his favorite (and only, besides Taco John's)Mexican restaurant in town. He prefers cheesecake to cake, so I'll pick up a cheesecake at the grocery store. I'll be darned if I'm going to buy 49 candles, though!

Next year should be fun when he turns 50.

The house is a disaster, so I'm actually looking forward to Monday, I'll have Thomas do the work he will do (meaning, that which he won't lose his attention) alone, and I'll catch up a bit. Then we'll settle in and do the rest.

I just haven't felt like blogging lately. Usually I have lots of fluff to talk about, but I've got very little right now. Walking around in a state of numbness, I guess. I sure wish I'd hit a funny streak, or an inspirational steak, or something. That's life, though.

Catching Up

Last week I was bone tired. I'm finally rested up and raring to go.

Last night I learned that my aunt passed away. She was my Dad's brother's wife. We shared the same name--well, nickname, I guess. She was a lovely lady, and even though I didn't know her well, I feel saddened.

I also learned last night that my other aunt, my Dad's sister, had a heart attack on Friday. She was taken to the hospital, they put two stents in, and she was back home by Sunday. I found that AWFUL. Well, she was having severe pain this morning, so was taken back to the hospital.

Please say prayers or send good vibes for these families.

My 77-year-old cousin, Dad's sister's son, passed away on the day before Thomas's birthday.

It's been a very rough year for Dad's family.

On a brighter note, Thomas had a blast with his birthday surprise.

We told him of the surprise 20 miles before we hit Sioux Falls, and he was bouncing. The motel room was nice (but smallish) the water park inside was great. Thomas MADE me go down the water slide.

I don't know where my zest for life went, but I got to the top of the stairs and I panicked. I sat down, then stood back up. I realized Thomas was watching me, and even though he is 13, I wasn't setting a good example. I am forever telling him to face his fears. So I had him go down first, then took my time. I sat, and my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to pop right out of my chest.

Me, the girl who used to be so adventurous, who loved water slides, who had no fear...that was before I got old. And fat. And afraid of breaking bones.

I pushed off. I was going too fast for my comfort, so I dragged my hands along the sides so strongly that I squeaked the whole way down. Apparently, it was hilarious because everyone could hear it.

I did it, though.

Then Bob told me it was a shame I lost that child-like quality I once had.

So I climbed the stairs and went down again, this time without squeaking.

We swam all night, then feasted on pizza.

The next day, the official birthday, we went to The Cracker Barrel for breakfast. I knew they'd have biscuits and gravy for Thomas and Bob. They did, and they were awful. I felt bad for Thomas, but my breakfast was great. lol

We then went to the zoo. Sioux Falls has a smallish zoo, but it's very nice. They had a baby Siamang Gibbons primate, that was the cutest thing I'd ever seen. The mother kept pinning the poor thing to the ground and using it as a plate. She put her food on it, and then would pick up the food and eat. Several times she would actually bend down and eat straight off the belly. That little babe tried to escape every chance it got, but momma's long arms didn't let it get far. (I don't know if it was a girl or boy.)

We then ate lunch at Taco Bell, because we don't have one and love it, and went back to swim. Dinner was Fudrucker's, Thomas's choice. Then we hit Barnes and Noble and bought the four books to complete the series A Wrinkle in Time for Thomas.

The next morning we were up early and on the road.

It was a whirlwind.

It was fun.

It was tiring, only because I got hit with furnace people when we got home. That was just stressful for me.

Our pups were very well behaved the whole trip. I think it may have helped that they had to stay in motels when they were younger.

The funny part of Thomas's birthday is this: He asked me what motel we would go to next year for his birthday. Yup, I knew it, I was setting a precedent. lol We explained that this was a special welcome to teenager-dom thing, and not to get used to it.

School was back to normal today. It was good not having people in our home, and following our normal routine. We start between 9 and 9:30, and I get my alone, quiet time before Thomas gets up and after Bob leaves for work.

Thomas rated it an 8 out of 10. I think that's a good thing.

Happy Thanksgiving

To all my Canadian friends, Thomas and I wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Saturday Morning

I'm enjoying a slow morning, sipping my coffee, catching up on the internet.

All of a sudden I hear noise outside. It's my crazy next-door neighbor. The one with the poodle that doesn't stop barking.

What's he doing today? He's vacuuming the street. He's done our side and the other side. He's vacuuming the gutters free of leaves, so he can put them in his garden. At least that's what he tells people.

These are the neighbors that wash their house every month. On the outside. They wash out their garage on a weekly basis. They wash and wax their cars on a weekly basis. They wash and wax their 5th-wheeler on a weekly basis, but they only use it once a year.

These are the neighbors that hate disorder. They mow their lawn twice a week, three times if he feels the need. I'm not kidding, either. And it's usually three times a week.

These are the neighbors that are constantly spraying chemicals on their lawn.

These people have no children, and don't give a hoot about the environment. They use a leaf blower to blow all the grass clippings into the street, which is illegal here. We have five lakes in this town, and the grass clippings promote algae.

I used to get mad at them, because they're loud. They're always using some gas-powered appliance outside making noise, stinking up the air. Now I just see them as funny.

The leaves are just beginning to fall here. They'll be done the end of the month. These neighbors will be vacuuming the streets every day. And I'll laugh, because it looks so silly. I know them, I know that they use the excuse "it's for our garden" but in reality, they are bored, young retirees that have nothing better to do. These people cannot stand disorder. That's why he vacuums the leaves from the street.

A Soldier in my Home

One of the furnace guys and I got to chatting yesterday afternoon. When I first looked at him, I figured him to be in his 50s. I don't know how old he was, but he mentioned Iraq. I asked if he was in Desert Storm. Nope, he got back last summer and went with my town's National Guard unit.

He wanted to go. He wanted to go because he was higher up in rank, but he wanted to be with his fellow guardsmen. He volunteered.

He told me he arrived in spring, before it was too hot. That helped his unit acclimate to the conditions there.

He didn't talk about what he did, and I didn't pry. But I did say two words to him: Thank you. He smiled, and he knew my sentiments were heartfelt.

Ever since my Dad was at the VA in Colorado, where he passed away, I just developed a bigger respect for our men and women in the armed services. It's not that I didn't respect them before, but being there enabled me to see, to feel, to experience something on a different level. And there were no Iraq vets there. It was old timers: Viet Nam vets, Korean War vets, and a few WWII vets.

I was very proud that our government took such good care of these men and women. I told the furnace-guy that.

I then asked him a very personal question. I asked him which presidential candidate would be better for the troops, the war and for our vets. As I suspected, it was not McCain. That was no surprise to me. It is unusual for where I live, though-- there are McCain/Palin signs everywhere. I don't think I've even seen an Obama sign in any yard in my town.

While I do not support this war, I do support our troops. I also support our vets. My time spent in that VA where Dad passed taught me so much.

They did something very special for Dad when he died, and they do this for all the vets that pass there. After I visited him after his passing, I had to go do paperwork at the front desk of the hospital. It took awhile. On the way to the desk, I passed the special gurney rolling down the hall, and I knew what it was and where it was going. It wasn't an ordinary gurney.

As I was at the desk, I heard my oldest sister proclaim, "Well, I don't need to see that" in disgust and horror. I turned and watched. What for her was awful, was one of the proudest moments in my life.

There was that special gurney, and Dad's nurse was pushing it. I knew it was my deceased father. What made the moment proud, though, was he was covered in the American flag. If death can be beautiful, that was. I was proud of him, for his service to our country decades before. I was proud of my government for taking such good care of him. They gave him a death of dignity.

It was beautiful.

My other sister was gracious enough to give me that flag. I cherish it.

I felt honored to have a soldier in my home (even though having him here three days was a bit unsettling!) It did remind me, though, that he wasn't the first soldier to be in my home. Dad visited here, as did Bob's dad, who was an MP during WWII.

Thank you, to all the men and women, who are serving and have served for our country.

I'm Tired

Really, really tired.

Birthday was a success. I'll post more about it when I'm not so tired.

I've had workers in my house since Wednesday. We left South Dakota very early Wednesday morning, and I drove back while Bob, Thomas and the pups slept. The whole time I drove, I focused on two things: Chevy Chase, and that scene in Vacation where his whole family is asleep in the car and the camera pans to him and he is as well. I was that tired, and that scene kept me lauging (in one of those you-really-need-help kind of ways). The other thing I focused on was that I was going to take a nap the minute we got home. I said it out loud, over and over.

It's okay to talk to one's self when no one else is listening, right?

It didn't work out that way. We got home, unloaded the car, had a quick phone call, and Bob took off for work. I was about to have Thomas read a book, when the phone rang. The furnace people wanted to come right away to start the furnace.

UGH

And so they did. I did not get my nap. I have been dragging ever since. I don't like when people are in my home--the house is small and there's no where to go. It's just unsettling to me. I'm weird that way. So having them here made the week a little more stressful.

I don't like being up and showered and dressed by 8. Neither does Thomas. We like our s~l~o~w mornings. I like to putz in the morning.

The new furnace is installed, the air conditioner, too. We're just waiting for the city inspector to come back and inspect. And then I will have my house back. Then I can take a nap.

zzzzzzzzzz

a little annoyed

I'm a little annoyed at Bob. Kinda sorta.

Thomas's birthday is Tuesday. We have everything planned and have managed, so far, to keep the secret. Bob and I sat down and discussed what we would give Thomas for his present. He wanted one Webkinz and a Sims pack. We felt -- rather, I felt that, plus the motel, was a super birthday.

Today Bob ran to Wal-mart. He came in and told me that he picked up a new bike for Thomas. He got it 50% off and couldn't resist. Plus, he used town money. He has this program where he works that gives them town money for safety points on the job. No one gets hurt, they get certificates to certain stores in our town. Bob saves them up and buys something big every now and again. So he used his town money for Thomas's bike.

Most of me is very proud that Bob did that. I asked him why he did, and he said, "Because I love my son." It makes me happy that he loves his son so much. BUT

but but but, there's always a big but in there...

To me, this crosses the line of spoiling a child. This is an expensive birthday. What will my child expect next year? How about when he's 16, will he expect us to buy him a car? Gulp, that's only three years away.

Bob gave him the bike today because all the neighborhood kids were out playing. They were riding bikes, so Bob knew that he would enjoy it this afternoon. And he did.

Thomas is thrilled beyond belief.

I just smiled and didn't let on I was annoyed. I saved that for the blog.

I won't say anything, ever. Bob rarely reads the blog anyway.

I'm just annoyed that we made a decision, jointly, as parents, and Bob deviated.

But, it is a cool bike.

sigh I'm usually the one to spoil. Go figure.

Drip, Drip, Drip

Today's excitement. Bob was relieved to find it's only a U-joint and easily fixed. He hates plumbing.

What a good excuse to clean out and reorganize under there. My pretty contact paper that I had there just lifted right off, so I'll have to find some new. I've got a fan running to dry it out.

If we have time, I am going to have Thomas Google how to repair a U-joint and make this into a school project. Bob will have him help with the project.

Our Dirty Little Secret

I have a secret, and I'm not telling -- Thomas.

Next week my BABY has a birthday and he will be a

TEENAGER!!!

How did that happen so darned fast? How can he be so old? It's making me feel old!!!

Bob and I had some alone time yesterday while Thomas was at art class. Earlier in the week, Thomas and I brainstormed what to do on his his birthday. How could we not, because he was/is obsessed! We used the white board and put all his ideas into categories. Hmm, perhaps I should have him do a writing assignment today based on this.

Anyway, Bob and I were toying with getting a motel room and having fun swimming. Then I remembered that there is a town a couple hours from here that has a motel with an indoor waterpark. Bob looked it up online and said, "Let's do it."

I had to convince Bob that we needed TWO nights there, because a couple hours getting there, going after work, leaving early the next morning just wasn't as much fun as spending an entire day poolside. He reluctantly agreed. He only has so much vacation left, but since this is a big birthday, he decided to go for it.

Reservations were made. I'm making a to-do list today. The only thing troubling me is how to get a birthday cake in the van, with two dogs -- Bob suggested we take Thomas to a store and let him pick out a cake. (Not as much fun for mom.)

We're not telling Thomas what we're up to. It's a big secret. I'm going to secretly pack, then take Thomas somewhere so Bob can load the van the day before we leave. The day we leave, Bob will take Thomas somewhere so I can put last-minute things in the car. Then we're going to tell him we're going out to dinner.

Ha, ha, ha, will he be surprised when we get on the interstate. We've decided to not say a word and keep him guessing until we get to the motel. Won't he be surprised when he sees a 130-foot water slide and indoor water park!

This is going to be fun!

The only bad part is we'll have to leave really early to get Bob to work on time. And then we'll have to start school when we get back to the house. I know I'll be needing a nap that day! Oh well, it will be worth it!

Cleaning

Saturday I made a date with Thomas. It was a cleaning date. We set aside the entire day, aside from some school assignments I had him do to catch up for Thursday. Bob had to go to work, so it was just the two of us.

We kicked it. The two of us scrubbed, dusted, vacuumed, changed sheets, pulled curtains off the rods to be washed, got on hands and knees and washed floors. We were both exhausted at the end of the day.

We only got the upstairs done. BUT, we also got our school room completely organized and picked up. We can actually do school in there now, if we so choose.


Bob put my new office chair together last night and put it in the school room, so I guess we may have to use the room a bit more.

I culled about 100 books off our shelf, boxed them up in Surf laundry boxes (I have a thing for saving those, don't ask) and stacked them in the closet. I need to start selling, I just don't have the energy right now.

Whew. This feels SO GOOD to be back to normal again.

Now today I'm faced with 10 more loads of laundry, a basement to clean, and I have zero energy. I woke up this morning due to cramps. Bad cramps. The kind I usually get the first and second day, not the fourth day. Grrrr.

Next week I'm expecting the furnace guy to call and come install our new furnace and AC. That will take two days and into the third, as he put it. It would be really nice of me to get rid of the cobwebs before he arrives. And not have baskets of dirty clothes taking up space.

I need an energy pill. I think I'll settle for a nap, and enlist Bob's help on getting the basement done. It won't take long with three of us.

One thing on Thomas's to-do list today is to fill the bird feeder. If we're going to be in the school room, we might as well be watching the birds again.

Socialization

In case you don't follow Heather's blog, My Supernatural World, pop on over and read her post on The S Word.

Excellent, Heather!

Happy Birthday Apollo

My pup is 1 today. He was neutered Wednesday, and this is how he spent his day:



Poor thing. He's on "bed rest." It's difficult to keep a border collie on bed rest. It's even more difficult to keep TWO on bed rest.

Both are recovering well, but not too happy about their collars or their more-than-usual time spent in their crates. Makes me sad, too, but I'd rather they heal than get infected. Plus, it's vet's orders.

We didn't get Apollo until November when he was 9 weeks old. I'm sure we'll celebrate adoption day, too. Today's birthday treat was a nice, juicy bone for each boy.

Daily Math Review

I cannot remember how I found this site, but I really wanted to share it here.

Awhile ago, I posted that I wanted something for math practice, and I chose Calculadders. We don't do them on a daily basis, but the upper levels are a nice refresher/practice.

Somehow, I found this site: Daily Math Review. For 6th, 7th, and 8th grade, you can download the files and have a lovely math warm-up or as they call it daily math review. There are seven problems per day, and the cover grade-appropriate skills.

Best of all, it's free.

You can print out the worksheets and answer book.

Worth a look and a save if you have youngers and like daily review type stuff!

Another Panic Attack

This morning we had to drive an hour and 15 minutes to get Apollo and Tesla. I had to stop to buy dog food and a new office chair for my aching body. We were hurrying, and left the house. I had not eaten breakfast, but did have two cups of coffee. Typically my coffee is half caf. I make it that because I don't want a full caffeine hit.

Right as we get into the car, I feel woozy. I figure it was because I hadn't eaten. We had to drive to Bob's work because he took our van by mistake, and I had to swap cars. By the time we made it a mile and a half, I told Thomas I felt funny.

We drove through McDonald's. I got an Egg McMuffin so I could get the protein--greasy, high-fat, but protein nonetheless. I also got a Diet Coke.

So as I'm driving, I just felt uneasy. Five miles down the road, I started envisioning my Dad. Yes, the scene at his kitchen table. The scene where we were sitting, I looked up, and his head was bobbing, he was unconscious, and in the throes of a heart attack. That scene played over and over and over in my mind. I couldn't get it to stop.

Driving down the road further, I had to roll the window down. I needed fresh air. It was raining. I still had to have that fresh air hit my face. About 15 miles after I started, I pulled in to a gas station. I took 1/2 of a Xanax and called my husband.

When Bob answered the phone, I started bawling. I hadn't recognized it until the very moment that I spoke with the love of my life. It's amazing to me that I didn't recognize what it was: I just had the fear I was going to pass out like my Dad did.

Bob told me to walk around, get some oxygen in my system, and let the Xanax kick in. I did. I went in, used the restroom, and noticed I was shaking violently. I bought a pack of gum, because I always feel compelled to buy something when I use a restroom.

Thomas and I walked around outside for about 15 minutes. The Xanax started to kick in. My shaking subsided.

The symptoms were: woozy feeling, impending doom--I was just sure something was going to happen, and the shaking.

I finally felt safe to drive. (BTW, my doctor informs me the only concern with driving after taking a Xanax is falling asleep. It's not a case of driving under the influence. If I take a whole Xanax, I do fall asleep. That's why I cut several up and have half pills in my bottle.)

We made it to the big city, bought the dog food, got an office chair, which thankfully the nice cute young man (I'm officially old now, those twenty-somethings are young!) put it in the car for me.

We then drove 20 miles further to get Apollo and Tesla. Apollo had a raging ear infection! Poor thing, I had no clue. So we have medication for that. Both dogs came through their surgery just fine. Both dogs were fitted with Elizabethan collars because they were licking like crazy. Both dogs look absolutely miserable and pathetic in those collars!

Thomas sat in the back with the boys on the way home. The dogs went straight into their crates and slept. They were pretty tuckered out.

Thomas had a birthday party to attend, so by the time we had the dogs taken care of, and I had talked to my sister about Dad's estate, it was time to get back in the car and drop him off. By this time I was almost shaking again -- not from a panic attack, but from a physical draining in my body that made it feel as if I could barely walk.

I called Bob and asked if he would pick Thomas up at 5, so I could lie down. Bob said he was working until 5:30. I did something I normally don't do. Normally I am fully supportive of Bob and his work, because it is of utmost importance. This time I just started bawling when he told me he couldn't. I don't know where it came from.

I was an absolute wreck today.

Bob called back 15 minutes later and told me he'd go get Thomas and just go into work early tomorrow morning. With that great news, I wiped my tears and put on my jammies. Then I discovered that Aunt Flo had come to visit.

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That big panic attack I had in Denver, where I ended up in the hospital overnight, had a couple similarities to today. One was lack of eating. I've read low blood sugar can bring a panic attack on. More importantly, I have learned that I am prone to panic attacks at the onset of my menstrual cycle.

I was really shocked by it, because I've been feeling a lot better. The recent contract on Dad's house had me a little emotional, but overall I've just been more myself lately. This panic attack this morning came from left field.

So, tomorrow I'll make an appointment with my doctor. It will be a good six weeks before I will be able to get in. I am going to keep a daily diary of my mood, physical symptoms, sleep cycles and period-related issues so I am fully prepared.

I hope that we can find some kind of relief. This was scary to me. I'm sure it scared Thomas a bit, but I tried not to let on other than I felt woozy.

We ended up not getting any school done today. However, Thomas has agreed to have a make-up day on Saturday, bless his heart. He did do biology with his Dad tonight, while I slept.

What a sucky day.

Ah, Nuts

My precious boys are getting neutered today. Apollo will be 1 year old on the 26th -- what a birthday present! Tesla is 11 months. Our contract with the breeder stated we had to wait until they were a year old before neutering. There's evidence it's healthier to wait. I emailed her and asked if it would be okay to get the boys done at the same time, because recovery would be easier if they were both recovering at the same time. She agreed.

Bob and Thomas got up at 5:30, left the house at 6:30 and had he boys to the vet by 7:45. The vets here, there are two, are worth the drive.

We pick them up tomorrow. I imagine I'll be calling a couple times this afternoon to see how they're doing.

It sure is quiet without our border collies here!

Thomas is taking a nap until 10:30 and then we'll get busy with school.

Biology

Last February, I bought some text books on eBay. About the time I was expecting them to arrive, my Dad called and asked that we come to help him with his surgery. If you've been reading my blog, you know the rest of that story. Before we could leave for Denver, we had to wait for the mail man. On March 7th, the car was packed, the dogs were leashed, we were ready to walk out the door. In fact, we were out the door, watching down the street for our friendly letter carrier. When he arrived with our books, I tossed them in the school room expecting to look at them when I got home.

When we did get home from Denver, April 3, I didn't even think of the books. I left them sit. In fact, I didn't look at the books until a few days before we started school.

And when I finally opened them up, 7th and 8th grade texts with teacher's manuals and lots of other accompanying stuff, I hated them. Not what I wanted. I think they're great for Thomas to sit and read, because he actually loves to sit and read science text books. However, they weren't what I wanted to teach. Why? They're integrated science, and I that's not how I wanted to focus on our science.

Bob and I sat down and discussed, at the very last minute, what we should do for science. This is the area Thomas excels in. We discussed the typical high school plans for science, biology, chemistry and then physics for 10th, 11th, and 12th grade. We hemmed and hawed and finally decided to follow the same schedule for 7th - 9th grade.

So then we needed to find a text book. It didn't take me long. We chose Power Basis by Walch.

Bob and Thomas started Power Basics Physics--was it last year, or the year before? They liked it, Thomas learn a lot, but they stopped mid-way through because Thomas didn't have the math skills yet. We'll use it in 9th grade instead.

We got the biology stuff last week? I think, but we are going so slow that we haven't had time to start. So tonight Bob took pity on me. Thomas was begging to start biology, and I promised I'd start after dinner. (It helped that the neighborhood kids weren't going to be home tonight!) Bob volunteered. And the boys snuggled up on the floor and read three sections. And then they discussed and discussed and discussed. Thomas tends to ask a lot of science questions that I don't always know the answer to. Luckily, Bob does.



They spent an hour together all cozy.




Thomas is wrapped up in an ugly orange and brown afghan that my mother made when I was younger than he is now. I used to play with that and wrap up in that when I was a kid. No one wanted the afghan, and I couldn't stand for it to be donated, so I took it. To be fair, I don't think the afghan was ugly when she made it, but I barely like orange and I don't like brown, and I don't like them together. lol

Still, it was nice to see my Mom, who has been gone 15 years now, included in school. She would have liked that.

With Bob's help tonight, I can gladly say that we accomplished everything on our school list today. Now only if I could get everything done on my personal to-do list, but that's another story.



Even the cat joined in on their fun.

Toasty

That's how we'll be this winter.

Yesterday, I wrote a check for $2,000 for a down payment for our new furnace and air conditioner. Upon completion, we'll owe another $4,000. We'll get some good rebates, which will help.

We believe our furnace is original to our house, which was built in 1976. We had a new air conditioner put in three or four years ago, but it has been nothing but problems. I've spent hundreds of dollars getting it fixed. We really had to debate getting a new AC, but we figured it would be cheaper in the long run.

Our new furnace is very efficient. Without getting the specs out, I can't remember the numbers, but it's going to be so much better than our current. The installer swears our gas bill will go down this winter. That remains to be seen.

We're also getting an air cleaner. That wasn't specifically in his written estimate, but when he was at the house yesterday, he told me it was included.

Cool.

It took us a long time to save up for this. It will be very nice to not put it on the credit card. Of course we'll be flat broke again, but for once we did something right.

I'm dreading winter. Minnesota winters are hard because there's not a lot of sun and it gets so nasty cold. However, I'm thrilled we'll be nice and toasty this winter! And cool next summer!

Canning

I have been fascinated with the recent harvesting and canning sprees that I have been reading in the blog world. I am kitchen challenged. That kind of thing intrigues me, sparks some childhood memories, and makes me envious.

I recently asked a good friend about her canning, and she explained how she started and what kinds of things she canned. I was just taken with it. Except the part that it's hard on your kitchen floor. lol

It piqued my interest so much, I got out my Ball Blue Book out and peaked at it.

It all seems overwhelming to me and gives me fear that I may end up poisoning my family.

However, last night I found a website that was very helpful for me, the kitchen challenged wannabe. It's called Pick Your Own. Let me just say, with a title like that, I immediately thought of my nose. That's something I could do, but that's not what they mean. lol

I spent an hour last night perusing their website. It took me back to childhood, with mom making currant jelly. She used wax to seal her jelly, not the lids, though. Her currant jelly was sooo good.

It got me to really thinking I'd like to try. Obviously I've had this interest before, as I have had that Ball Blue Book for a long time. This website helped me because it gave directions, had pictures, and recipes, and great details.

I think I'm going to talk to Bob about starting up our garden again next year. Tomatoes are so expensive, and I use lots of tomato sauce, paste spaghetti sauce and cubed tomatoes in my recipes. I could start there.

I think for Christmas I'm going to ask for one of the canning kits from their website (which is actually linked to an outside link.) I might also take a peak down the canning aisle at Wal-mart the next time I go.

I shouldn't be afraid of the kitchen.

Saturday

Saturday Thomas and I got up really, really Early. One of our neighboring cities was having their annual city-wide garage sale. I have gone every year since I have lived in Minnesota, and always had a wonderful time. (Except when I went with friends who ran out of money and wanted to leave early.) Every year we come home with some really cool stuff.

The city usually rents out their fairground buildings and there were tons of sales inside. This year, only two small buildings were rented out. That was disappointing. We went to sale after sale after sale and they were duds. We came home with two books, one for Thomas and one for me. I spent a whopping sixty cents.

Upon arrival home, I ran to the computer. We had a verbal offer on my Dad's house. The contract was supposed to come in yesterday, I was to print and sign and scan and email back.

There was no contract.

I checked email a million times yesterday. Nothing.

I have to say, I got really disappointed and blue last night.

This morning, Tesla woke me. He was in Thomas's room, whining. Bob was up but hadn't taken the dogs out yet. It was 6 a.m. I got up, put the puppies out, and called down to Bob to check my email. Imagine my surprise when he said, "IT'S HERE!"

The contract didn't come in until late in the evening, and the realtor emailed it after 11 p.m.

Please send good vibes or say a prayer that this goes through. We need closure. The sale of his home, especially in this market, has been a huge worry for my sister and I.

The realtor told us yesterday that everyone uses regular-sized paper now, so I'd be able to print and scan the contract. Lo and behold, the contract is legal size. So I have to see if my printer will even print legal (I know it will, at least I hope) and then I will have to find someone with a fax machine. But first, I have to go buy some legal-sized paper. This all needs to be done early, as the contract expires at noon. I called our grocery stores at 6 a.m. and they assure me they can fax.

So much for sleeping in on a Sunday morning, but what a good reason I can't!

Focus and Attention

Last week I reported that Thomas's focus and attention was spot on.

Sadly, this week it was not. And it was so far from being what a typical seventh grader should be, that it scared me. (Typical=me, I guess. And my assumptions of other children.)

Thomas and I have discussed at length his attention issues. He's had these issues forever. He can focus on something he loves, or if he's in the right mood he can do better than normal, but normal just isn't good.

I believe it's at the point we need to take action. We have a neurologist appointment coming up. When we got the epilepsy diagnosis, actually right before the diagnosis, the doctor was asking if Thomas had problems with focus and attention. I think I said yes, but I did not elaborate because I felt that I should have the discussion with Thomas before I started bringing things up with the doc.

We've had the discussion. We've also had a lot of tears this week because of the problem. He's ready for some help.

I am at a loss on where to turn. Should we get another eval from an educational psychologist? Or not? I know all his issues are neurological in nature. I am at a loss on where to search anymore. We've tried all the techniques that I've found. We actually didn't get any recommendations when we had him tested before except to send him to a special school that cost $17,000 a year. That, plus the fact we would have to move, find a job, etc., made that not an option. We were told not to ever give him any work that was timed. Well, we don't typically, but for some reason he's really able to turn it on and do well on the timed standardized tests. It takes a lot out of him, though.

I'm just not educated in this area. I'm hoping that the neurologist will help. Do I take our IQ tests, our results from the educational psychologist from five years ago? Do I take our standardized test results? Should I write up a little spiel about the issues he's having? I get befuddled in the office and I think I would be able to express my concerns better that way. What all do I include other than if I don't sit by the table while Thomas is doing his work, he stares into space. Do I tell him that math brings out the worst in him?

This is all new to me. I think Thomas has matured and made great gains since we've homeschooled. Even given the age difference, he has coped, learned skills to help, but it could be better. And I want what's best for my son.

Someone want to hold my hand through this and tell me what to do?

We see the doctor at the end of the month. I'm trying to get prepared ahead of time.

ugh

Free Courses from Stanford

Stanford University is offering free courses online. Check it out!

Introduction to Computer Science

Programming Methodology
Programming Abstractions
Programming Paradigms

Artificial Intelligence

Introduction to Robotics
Natural Language Processing
Machine Learning

Linear Systems and Optimization

The Fourier Transform and its Applications
Introduction to Linear Dynamical Systems
Convex Optimization I
Convex Optimization II

Hat Tip: http://ithinkthereforeiblog.com

Church. Gulp.

While I keep this blog mostly secular in nature, I am not a secular person. I call myself a Christian, but I also have some new-age beliefs.

Thomas has always had some version of a bible, from the children's bible and now he has one geared toward teens. He reads it on his own when he feels the need. He has read the child bible a few times.

Many, many times he has asked to start going to church.

I don't like organized religion. I guess I have nothing against it, but I've personally never had good experiences with it. Now knowing that I have an anxiety disorder, I look back and see that anxiety has always been on high when I was at church.

My mother taught me that my religions beliefs were just that, mine. She allowed me to go to church. I went to the Church of Christ as a younger child, which was my favorite. In elementary school years I attended The First Congregational Church. That was okay. In junior high, I went to a Baptist church with my friend. Until, that is, the preacher told me I would burn in hell unless I joined their church. Mom had to do some damage control after that. And I did not go to church again until I was an adult.

As an adult, after Bob and I married, we attended a WELS church. Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. As the judge I used to work for, who was the son of an Assembly of God minister, told me: the WELS is the strictest of all churches. He was right.

Bob and I attended for about a year. It wasn't very welcoming, well, the congregation wasn't. The pastor used to ring our doorbell at odd times, always unannounced. He came frequently. I found it highly annoying. I took classes to join the church.

In the midst of those classes, my Mom died. The pastor was an ass, and said some things to me that I have never been able to get over and forget. Bob and I agreed to quit going. And we did.

Thomas has been asking to go to church for several years. My mom had it right: she let ME choose. I'm not letting Thomas choose, though. I'm not being open minded.

He asked me again today if I would take him to church.

Last summer, after he'd been begging, I met the pastor of the local WELS church at the county fair, talked with him at length, told him my husband grew up in that church, attended that church's private high school 400 miles from his home. I neglected to tell him that Bob had some issues with his church. I wrote my name and number down. We talked at length, and I felt uneasy, but at least I knew Bob would go with us (to help me through my fear, because I'm really uncomfortable in churches.)

The pastor never contacted us. He said he would. I felt slighted. Now, I'm a big girl, I knew where the church was, and I darned well could have gone to a service. In fact, one morning Thomas and I staked out the church, 15 minutes before services started, and watched to see who went in. It's a very small congregation.

In my heart, though, I knew it wasn't the right church. They're anti-woman. (Okay, let me rephrase that: their interpretation of the bible is anti-woman.) No women pastors and the women in the congregation can't vote on church decisions.

Obviously, that wasn't the right choice.

So that leads me to today. I guess I wouldn't mind going to church, if I found the right one. They have to be true Christians, and not anti-this, anti-that and I don't want to be preached hate.

I have no idea where to look. I think the Methodist church might work or me, BUT...this is a small town and frankly, there are people there I DO NOT LIKE. Isn't that awful? Thomas and I went to a mom's group when he was 4 at the local Methodist church. The kids were awful. And because it's a small town, I have kept up with these kids, and I really don't want to be around them or have Thomas around them.

So, that's out.

Anything having to do with the Baptists is out.

There's no UU in our town.

The other Lutheran synods -- there's only one I would consider. I'm not a Lutheran, though, my husband is.

Big church? Small church? What kind? I don't know what half the churches believe. What is an Evangelical Covenant church? Episcopal? Apostolic Fellowship?

Which church would I have to do the least damage control with Thomas? I'd like him to be involved with youth groups. I'd like him to learn about the bible. That way, he can make an informed decision on his religious path. Just like Mom did for me.

I just don't want him coming home hating gays, liberals, rock 'n roll, women, etc.

Another thing that a church would provide is an opportunity for service. I was always very service orientated as a child. I volunteered a lot, and enjoyed it. Our town is so small, that there would be more opportunities for service projects through a church than individually volunteering.

So if any of my readers can make some suggestions, I'd appreciate it.

I hold my religion close. I don't like talking about it. You'll never find me quoting bible passages, except the one about worrying about someone else's splinter when you have a log in your own eye. lol I still want secular curriculum. I'll still gravitate toward the secular or heathen boards. I am and will still be the same as I've been here.

But I can do this for Thomas. I just don't know where to go, which would be less prejudiced and judgmental. Where I would feel comfortable, with my anxiety issues.

???

19 Years is a Long Time -- Happy Anniversary to Us

Frankie and Bob. September 16, 1989. A beautiful day, a short ceremony at Stav Kirk, also known as The Chapel in the Hills, in Rapid City, South Dakota. It was perfect except for one thing.

Mom made my dress. I hated it. There, I said it. Great to get that off my chest, because I don't know that I have said that before. I had picked a lovely gown that fit me, fit my body, and fit my personality. Mom wanted to make a dress, picked the pattern, and I hated it. She made the bridesmaid's dresses, too. From the same pattern. And my flower girl's dress. Same pattern. Then she complained that it was the hardest pattern she had ever sewn and that she shouldn't have agreed to the pattern I chose. Oy.

I was thankful, though. It was just a dress, the event was what was of importance. She made the veil, too. I -- oh, never mind.

It is hard to imagine that we have been married for 19 years, but it's true. I have the gray hair to prove it. How come Bob has no gray hair?

Happy anniversary, honey, in case you happen to actually read my blog. Here's to many more.

One-Liners

Last week we had three really good one-liners in this house.

On Monday night, Bob was watching Monday Night Football. The Vikings (our team) were playing their rivals, Green Bay.

Thomas was outside playing.

It's never a good thing to be in the house when Bob is watching football. He swears. And he doesn't think before he swears.

So while he was watching, I was on a three-way phone call with my sister and our realtor for Dad's house.

As we were talking, Bob let out a shout, and it was loud.

F***. (G-rated blog, otherwise I'd write the word.)

There was a pause on the phone. My sister didn't hear it, but the realtor did. I paused for a second, said ummmmmmmm, and then said, "Sorry, Monday Night Football." Lots of laughter and understanding. Whew.

Bob sheepishly came in the room and apologized, which I conveyed to the realtor.


The second one-liner was by Thomas. We were discussing getting along with friends. The little girl across the street is kind of spoiled and not always nice. I said words my mother used to say to me: "Two wrongs don't make a right." Thomas said:

Yes, but three lefts do.

I was so shocked he said that, but I found it funny.

The third one was a wake-up call from Thomas to me. It needs no explanation.

Mom, you really need to get your mustache under control.

And he was right. Dang aging.

Sunday

It seems that someone flipped a switch and summer ended just like that. It's been a cool week with a lot of rain. This morning I stayed in bed completely relaxed, listening to the sound of the rain. It's one of those thing I love to do, snuggling up and just existing in a comfortable, dreamy state. The rain was just icing on the cake.

Thursday and Friday were rough school days for Thomas. He just could not focus on math. He cried. It's always math that brings out this ability to shut his brain down. As he's maturing, I notice he's much more aware of his shortcoming, and it really bothers him.

He uttered the evil words: I'm stupid.

I hit the roof. You are NOT stupid. I actually got mad at him for saying such a thing. After I calmed down, we talked and talked. He cried. I cried. Then he got to work. It took him over two hours both Thursday and Friday to complete his work.

My heart ached for him. I made him persevere and get it done, while trying to boost his confidence at the same time. A difficult task.

Later I Googled focusing topics. I came up with something we are going to try. The Gifted Development Center in Denver has a great website with lots of helps and tidbits for kids. We found a technique called Hocus, Pocus, Hyperfocus. We're going to try it. The only thing was that Thomas didn't like the name of it, he thought it was babyish. So we're just going to call it Hyperfocus.

We are going to discuss this issue with the neurologist when we next visit.

Otherwise, it was a good week. Busy, but good.

Tweaking Already

Ah, the second week of school, time to tweak already.

No sense in trying to make something work. I don't like the science book we bought. I actually bought two. They're integrated science books by Glencoe. Last year Thomas read Life Science and most of Earth Science by Glencoe on his own. So I figured that this would be a hit, too.

It may be with him, but it's not with me. I find them choppy, light, and dull. I think they'll be great for him to sit and read on his own, but I wanted something more this year.

Bob and I sat down and had a teacher/principal conference. Or perhaps it was a parent-teacher conference. Whatever. We discussed what we wanted to accomplish in high school and worked back.

10th grade: biology
11th grade: chemistry
12th grade: physics

So, Bob came up with the brilliant plan to do that same order starting in 7th grade. So I'm stuck trying to find a middle school biology program.

I didn't look too hard. We're ordering Power Basics Biology. That was fairly easy.

Another GREAT tweak? ROSETTA STONE!!!!!!! A good friend sold me hers for a good price. It arrived this weekend, and I sat and did the first lesson. Six times. Ahem.

I love it. It is the way to teach me a language. The older I get, the harder it is for me to learn a language, as our dismal attempt last year proved. This is right up my alley.

So yesterday Thomas had his first lesson. He liked it. At first he got frustrated because he didn't know what the words meant, but as he went through it he realized he would have to use his brain to figure things out.

As I suspected, he's doing better than I am. I am trying to stay a lesson ahead of him so I get that extra needed practice.

It's a BIG hit, though. I am so thankful to my friend!!

Other tweaking I have to figure out: scheduling. As usual, I have too much on our plates and not enough time. We have not started Lightning Literature, keyboarding or computer studies. I haven't thrown art in, either.

I'm going to have to play with our schedule a bit to make everything fit without being overwhelming.

We are loving our spelling program still.

Tonight I'm going to spend an hour studying and trying to get a final tweak completed. A final tweak for now, at least.

Thank you, Dad

I've blogged about my CD player dying. Lots of people recommended a Bose, but I just couldn't afford it. Nor could I afford a new boom box.

Dad to the rescue. Dad's been gone for almost four months already. Sigh. I still miss him, but time is easing the sting, just a tad.

Every year for Christmas, Dad would send us a check. He gave Bob and I $100 each, and Thomas a different amount. I hoarded my money. I'd spend it now and then, but I had a special place in my home that I would hide my crisp $100 bills. I hid them so I wouldn't be tempted to spend them on groceries or necessities. I have dipped into that stash from time to time for my traveling, or other nice things just for me, but I always kept a reserve.

I was down to $200. I was also "down" listening to our music and SOTW on horrible speakers. I would hear a cacophony of music or words that would make the hair on my neck stand up. I couldn't bear to listen.

So I grabbed that $200 and went to Shopko. I bought myself a JVC Micro Component System. It has an iPod dock. I don't have an iPod, I have a Creative Zen. I may just start saving for an iPod, though even though I wanted a Shuffle, which won't work with the JVC.

The sound on this little mini-stereo, as I call it, is fantastic! I couldn't be happier. SOTW sounds great, and so does Abba. I bought a cheap $9.95 Abba CD for Thomas on the first day of school, and we have listened to it a million times already.

I'm thrilled. It makes me happier to think that this is a gift from my Dad. I have just little money left to start my iPod fund.

zzzz

Sleep has been much improved this week, thankfully. I know it's only Tuesday, but I'm hopeful.

At any rate, I have noticed that during Thomas's least favorite subject, math, I get so tired I could just pass out. It doesn't matter what time of day he does math. It puts me to sleep.

He still can't stay focused unless I am sitting next to him. He's a lot better, but remain, I will, until he's "there."

I still marvel at how he has matured since last year. It boggles my mind.

I still marvel at how much he is able to write: handwriting, copying math problems, etc.

But why, oh, why does the math make me fall to sleep?

I think we have a math phobia in this house: He hates it, and I hate sitting through it. sigh

I'm a mean mom when it comes to math, though. Mean in that I won't let up, because it's so darned important.

but...zzzzzz

Spelling, Week 2

unconscious
vacation
wander
yellow
aboard
baking
cafeteria
dairy
economy
familiar
gauge
identical
jewelry
knew
laboratory
magazine
natural naturally
obey
paid
questionnaire


un-con-scious
va-ca-tion
wan-der
yel-low
a-board
bak-ing
caf-e-te-ria
dair-y
econ-o-my
fa-mil-iar
gauge
i-den-ti-cal
jew-el-ry
knew
lab-o-ra-to-ry
mag-a-zine
nat-u-ral
nat-u-ral-ly
o-bey
paid
ques-tion-naire

At the End of the Day...

I'm glad to report we got everything done in my plan for the day. Whew! Thomas let me sleep a little this morning, and he did his independent work. Then when I got up, still feeling groggy, I loaded up with coffee and we put nose to grindstone and got 'er done.

I have noticed a big jump in maturity this year. I still get lots of whines, especially over math, but...

The big thing I've noticed may seem silly to others. Typically with math, I cut up the math book and let Thomas write directly into the book. We use Rod and Staff. I hadn't cut it up beforehand this year, and Thomas suggested that we not ruin the book and use a spiral instead. In years gone by, he never could have copied all the problems to the paper. It would have just been overload to him. (One of the pesky parts of his learning disabilities.) This year, he's been able to handle that task beautifully!

He's upset with me that I want each problem on a separate line, with a line in between the last answer and the new problem. He would rather save space and do work from left to right, smushed up, making it illegible. So he caved when I, um, demanded he do things my way. The result is his work is much neater than last year.

He's been kicking butt with his logic! Wow, can that kid think. He's been working hard at spelling, struggling with the list I made him, but learning a few each day. His spelling program so far is a big hit. I'll wait until we've gone halfway through the book and I see how he's doing before I give a formal review.

He has been able to write and write and write without complaint. He's had to do a lot of sentence writing for our grammar program, and his work has been neat and his hand isn't getting tired.

Ahhhh.

I have a feeling seventh grade is going to be a fantastic year for us! And we are ready for a fantastic year.

Good Morning!

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and it's a beautiful day. Everyone is fresh from a good night's sleep: EXCEPT ME. I was up all night.

Second night in a row. The night previous, the last time I looked at the clock it was 4am.

What's keeping me up?

Sarah Palin.

I've got myself all worked up over politics. I'm married to a republican. My best friend is a democrat. I'm a moderate. I seem to always be caught in the middle of things. I've already expressed by my views, so I won't go there.

I will mention this. Sarah Palin's youngest daughter was as cute as a bug's ear while her mother gave her speech. The licking of her hand and smoothing of baby brother's hair was precious. I've read that in quite a few places on the web, everyone thinking that was cute.

I haven't read this: Was there anyone out there, besides me, thinking: TWO HANDS, hold that baby with two hands??? That made me nervous seeing that little girl holding her baby brother with one hand.

I know that I am an anxious person. I know that I need to let go of the politics. I need my sleep. When I get anxious, I don't sleep. So no more reading about politics. Let's see how long that lasts!

I'm going to try to take a nap now. Before I do, I'm going to gather several things that Thomas can do without mom's instruction. I'll get up with him, probably do math, and then I'll take a morning nap, because I cannot function with little to no sleep, I just can't. I will not nap in the afternoon, though. He can work on independent stuff while I take an hour snooze, and then I'll get up and finish the stuff I need to with him.

Not optimal, but it will do.

This is why I don't watch or read a lot of news, because I get too worked up over stuff. While that means I'm not keeping current, which isn't good, it means that I don't get worked up about stuff. Sometimes it stinks being a highly emotional person.

Spelling, Week 1

In addition to our spelling program this year, we are going to work on a list of 20 words each week. Thomas is weak in spelling, and we are going to work really hard at it this year. I decided to scour the internet for lists of most commonly misspelled words. I made lots of lists, and from that, a master list. From that, I'm picking 20 words each week, in no particular order.

I am printing the lists for him, and it is his job to study them on his own. He'll have a test on Friday. I have chosen to chunk the words for him, so he visualize them better.

Hopefully we'll see great improvement this year! I'm planning on sharing the lists here, as this IS my homeschool journal, even though I go way off into left field so many times.



Week 1

abbreviate
baggage
cabbage
daily
eager
facilities
gadget
hammer
icicle
jealous
kitchen
label
machinery
naive
obedience
package
quarter
raise
safety
tariff



ab-bre-vi-ate
bag-gage
cab-bage
dai-ly
ea-ger
fa-cil-i-ties
gad-get
ham-mer
i-ci-cle
jeal-ous
kitch-en
la-bel
ma-chin-er-y
na-ive
o-be-di-ence
pack-age
quar-ter
raise
safe-ty
tar-iff

This and That

Monday. Nice to have a day off. For Bob, that is, somehow moms never get a day off.

I need to get to civilization sometime soon. My boom box is dying. Thomas and Bob bought me a very nice CD player for the kitchen a few years ago. It's a Sony, it's pretty--has a lovely blue neon light--and has great sound. The sad thing is that the CD player is no longer working. It started going on the blitz this past spring, and now I cannot get any CDs to play.

That presents a problem when we want decent quality for our Story of the World CDs. (We're doing SOTW4 this year.) Plus, I like music, and I can't play my CDs.

My past CD player lasted about four years, and the CD player went on it, too. Everything else on both continued to work just fine.

Bob suggested getting a Bose. I laughed and said I don't want to spend that much money. $500? $150 tops for me, thank you very much.

I still haven't got that Abba CD, and Thomas continues to listen to Abba on You Tube.

Cha-ching.

And another thing. The new chairs we bought for our kitchen table don't work well for me. I waited so long for the beautiful new chocolate brown chairs. They look so much better than the chairs we had that we bought right after (or was it before?) we were married. (1989!) The thing is: it hurts my back to sit in these chairs. I've tried adjusting the chairs in all different manners, but it just isn't working. Bob suggested that I buy a nice-quality office chair. He told me not to worry about what it looks like at my kitchen table, because my back is more important. He's right. So I'll have to make a trip to the big city.

Cha-ching. Cha-ching.

The chair is a necessity. The boom box and Abba CD: not so much. We will use Thomas's CD player, but the sound quality stinks.

I've been debating our first day of school. I had originally planned on jumping right in, going full force. I think Thomas and I need a more gentle approach. So, I held back on cleaning the school room like I normally would. I did manage to get all the books off the floor, though. We will jump right in with math and a few other core subjects, but we'll also organize and clean our school room.

We didn't use the school room much last yea. The year before we did. We both prefer the kitchen table. I have come up with a compromise, though. Our kitchen faces east, so we have nasty sun in the mornings. We have large kitchen windows, so we usually keep the windows closed up until 11ish. We've decided we'll do school in the west-facing school room in the mornings and then move to the kitchen table in the afternoons. That way we get open windows, we'll be able to resume our bird watching out the school room, and we'll be able to keep the table less messy. Bob just hates it when he comes home for lunch and all our stuff is spread out on the table.

Of course we'll have our annual first day of school drive-through breakfast tomorrow. Biscuits and Gravy for Thomas from Arby's (we miss Hardee's so!) and an Egg McMuffin from McDonald's for me.

This past week I was nervous about starting school. Today I'm very relaxed about it. I think taking the pressure off to get the room perfect, everything perfectly organized helped me. Plus, if I make Thomas participate in that, he'll take more ownership in it. And the kid has some very good ideas on organization, too. He's much more creative than I am.

The rest of the day today I will be finishing laundry and paying bills, sipping coffee and putzing. Oh, and preparing my annual letter to the school district, can't forget that! And watching news coverage of the hurricane.

Spanish

Thomas and I tried to study Spanish last year. We have Bob's college text and tapes. It really isn't too much for us even though it's a text book because we can break it down into small chunks. Thomas does really well with the chunks.

We're having a slight problem, though. That problem is ME! I just am putting up a block to learning Spanish! I am slowing us down because I can't remember the vocabulary and then I cannot pronounce it correctly.

To be quite honest, I think the text book is boring. It was free, sitting there on the shelf gathering dust -- and then I bought another text book on eBay so we'd each have one, and that was less than $10. The price was right. But it's boring.

I've been looking at Rosetta Stone. Wow, it's a lot of money. I sure like the visuals though. I have done the Turkish sample a few times and I am remembering what I'm hearing/seeing. Thomas did that sample once and remembered it all.

Is Rosetta Stone worth the money?

money, money, money

Music to My Ears

I caught Thomas singing yesterday. Big deal, right? Yeah, it was a big deal because Thomas doesn't sing.

My kiddo isn't in to music. He hates--H-A-T-E-S--to sing. His one complaint about summer camp? Singing camp songs. He refused.

So yesterday I heard him singing. I can't complain about what he was singing, because he was singing.

Want to know the band that he is now in love with? I have had to endure listening to every one of their You Tube videos for the past few days. It's okay, because I like them -- takes me back to my childhood and teen days. I've never owned their album. Thomas will, though, as soon as I can get to Wal-Mart. I'm going to buy him a Happy New Year/Not Back to School present for Tuesday morning. We can listen to it during school that day. On my CD player, that sounds a million times better than the speakers on our laptops.

This is his new favorite band and song: (Should we be concerned? lol) (I think he has a crush on Agnetha, who must be near 60 by now. She was a cutie in the video, though.)

The Hardest Thing...

The hardest thing I ever did in my life was have a child and return to work. I had no choice, as Bob was finishing up his degree and I was the bread winner. I worked until Thomas was 22 months old. I hated every single minute I was away from my baby.

So I was quite shocked when I was reading about Governor Palin just now at Wikipedia. She had her youngest child on April 18, 2008. This baby boy has Down Syndrome. This baby is four months old. Four months old.

Personally, I could never spend that much time away from my baby, especially a special needs baby, especially when I knew how much time is going to be spent campaigning.

I will not judge. I will not judge. I will not judge.

I know some women are better mothers when they work. I worked with them. I know no one thinks twice about a man spending that much time away from his baby.

I'm old fashioned and sexist, I guess.

I just find it -- looking for a word here -- strange.

I am sitting here very torn, because I'm all for Women's Lib. I believe wholeheartedly in a woman's right to choose, equal pay for equal work, etc. I really do. And I believe a woman has a right to choose to work or stay home with her child(ren). And I support that choice. But do I in all cases?

I just could never leave my baby, my four-month-old Down Syndrome baby, like that. I just couldn't do it. And sadly, I have the need to force myself to work on being open minded about it.

I had already made my decision to vote for Obama, so this isn't a political thing. It's a mother thing.

Frankie, who has some work to do and fully expects lots of negative comments on this one!

A Lovely Day

Thomas and I had a lovely day today. Instead of working on school plans, cleaning the school room, paying bills, doing laundry, cleaning house, etc., we hopped in the car and headed toward civilization.

Mankato, Minnesota was our destination. It's over an hour from where we live, but it's the closest town that has any big chain stores. Well, we have Walmart and Kmart and a few fast food chains, but it has a mall, a BOOKSTORE, an Office Max, Sam's Club...cool stores.

Today's mission was to find The Sims2 Apartment Life for Thomas. We could have got it here, but it was much more fun to go there. We left this morning. We went to the mall and walked it a few times. Ahhh, Frankie needed to get off her lazy you-know-what and exercise a little. Then we hit all the fun stores: Yankee Candles, where I made a small purchase, the Game Stop where Thomas was sorely disappointed that what he was seeking didn't come out until tomorrow. And of course we hit the bookstore.

We went to the great pet store and bought our good dog food and two containers to store the food in. Pesky little border collies are too smart for Rubbermaid containers. We bought two containers that latch and they won't be able to open. Ahem, hopefully. The dogs like to snack on the cat food, so hopefully we'll alleviate that!

We went to Sally Beauty Supply just because Bob wasn't with us and I could. lol Bob will buy monthly female products at the grocery store without batting an eye, but he won't go to Sally Beauty Supply. Go figure.

We stopped off at a Baker's Square for a mid-afternoon snack. We had never gone there before, and we indulged in cheesecake and a cinnamon roll. Mmmmm.

All the while, we talked and talked like we hadn't seen each other in a long time. We laughed, we joked, and we thoroughly enjoyed each other's company.

It was a special day. We left the sadness and grieving behind. We lived in the moment and loved each other's company.

I was only slightly annoyed at our final stop on the way out of town: Best Buy. The greeter at the door was a retired gentleman. He touched my arm and asked, "When does school start?" I smiled and said Tuesday. He said, "Oh, Mom, I bet you're glad!" This is where Frankie got a little ornery. I smiled and said, "Oh, yes, we're very excited to start school again. We homeschool. My son is a very good kid and I really enjoy being in his company."

The man literally took a step back. He smiled, said that was great, and then turned and walked away.

Why do people assume that moms are tired of being with their kids at the end of summer? Even when Thomas WAS in public school, I hated the start of school. I hated it! I will never get that.

Mom 101: Love your child each and every moment, because they grow too damned fast. They'll be on their own in the blink of an eye. So don't get annoyed by them being with you, embrace it. If they're climbing the walls, be a parent and do something with them, guide them, love them.

There, off my soap box.

So yes, we are excited for school to start this year. Even Thomas confessed today he's ready to go, albeit a little nervous. He knows the work will be more difficult this year. But we're excited because we homeschool.

Friendships

The way we form friendships is changing. No longer are they formed only face to face, some chance meeting, but now they are formed in cyber world.

I just wanted to take a moment to thank all my cyber friends for the support I've been receiving here on the blog. It really means a lot getting an encouraging word when one is sorely needed.

Tonight I talked with one of my e-friends on the phone for close to two hours. She did more to pick up my spirits and encourage me. She's even pumped me up enough to clean out the school room tomorrow! I enjoy listening to all she's going through in life at the moment and her homeschooling journey. Thank you, Blue Hen.

Thank you to my Georgia Peach and Becky, who have also stuck by me in all my craziness. It means a lot.

And thanks to everyone for reading my blog when I have clearly gone way off topic for so long. Your comments mean a lot. And even if people read and don't comment, thanks for sticking with me.

I have a few friends here in my small town, but they're the kind I have to watch what I say. I feel so liberated here at the blog to be myself. (Okay, I don't swear on the blog and I do say an occasional naughty word in real life, but I try to have a little class here.)

So thank you, to all my friends.

I hope to stick more to homeschooling and less on my woes in the future. I won't quit whining, but I'll try to curb it.

I leave you with a poem:

Internet Friends
by Ann Stareyes

My Internet Friends
You're so dear to my heart.

Family I've found
Real friendship I've received
I love you all so
Every moment shared
Never will be forgot
Deep within my heart
Special friends I cherish.

Sleep, Or Lack Thereof

It is 7:10 am. I have been up all night. Not by choice.

In the last week, I have had three sleepless nights. Normally I can drift off when Bob gets up and starts getting ready for work. Today I didn't because his jeans were in the washer and I got up and threw them in the dryer so he'd have something to wear to work. Nice of me, eh?

I think I'm going to try to stay up.

I think this lack of sleep is due to the grieving process. I constantly think of my Dad, I worry about his house selling, I re-live the past five months over and over and over. I worry about Thomas. I worry about school, and my inability to finish getting it all planned out. We're good to go, really, but I'm a planner and I haven't done that anal planning that I like to do with pretty planner pages. I'm just weird that way.

Okay, so to add to the grieving, I have anxiety issues. Obviously. This is just stupid, because lack of sleep -- or lack of eight hours -- is really bad for my health. I'm the type that needs eight hours, nine is ideal. It's like a vicious cycle: lack of sleep produces anxiety, anxiety produces lack of sleep.

I've stated before, I am ready to start school so we'll get that routine going. That will help.

On the other hand, all these sleepless hours were spent researching commonly misspelled words. I'm making up my own list, then I'll make some very basic worksheets. Thomas, in addition to his spelling program that I bought, is going to have to tough it out with a list of 20 spelling words a week. Whether he likes it or not.

I wonder how long I'll last today. I'll probably end up taking a nap. And then I won't be able to sleep tonight. Nah, I'll go to Walgreen's and re-fill my Ambien prescription. It's been a few weeks since I've been out, so even though I was trying to get by not using it, I think I need it.

At least it's a beautiful morning.

School Supplies

I usually go all out for school supplies. I love school supplies. Fresh pencils with clean, unused erasers, new pens with perfect tips, crisp, fresh paper...ahhh.

So this year I went all out. I got:

1 24-pack of Bic Mark It pens. I did not need these. I have a thousand Sharpies. I just had to try them out. (And yes, I like them -- but I still like Sharpies.) They were on sale for $6.99 at Walgreen's.

4 packs of Black Warrior Pencils .39 a box at Walgreen's.

10 folders at Office Max for a penny apiece.

1 12-pack of Flair markers. For me, not Thomas. I love Flairs.

Two reams of white paper.

And that's it.

I about broke the bank with this year's shopping haul. I think I spent $15 tops.

Normally I spend *a lot* but I just couldn't justify spending money on fun stuff when I have a school room full of it.

This is so out of character for me! When we were at Office Max, I begged Thomas to pick out his two favorite colors of printer paper. I was thinking nice pastel greens or blues or yellows. Imagine my shock when he told me he actually prefers white. AAAACCCK. It's all about color, baby! The horror of it all!

Less is more this year.

Monday

Is it Monday already? My days are blurred.

I don't mind admitting here that I have been in a terrible funk for quite a few days now. I try so hard to stay positive, but my body and soul just ache from fatigue.

School starts two weeks from tomorrow. I follow our local public school schedule, and I'm very thankful they don't start until September.

I have two weeks to get my house in order, school planning completed, laundry caught up, bills paid, estate inventory done -- well, that needs to be done asap, and throw in some final summer fun. It all seems so overwhelming at the moment.

So today I took baby steps. That's the only thing I know to do when I get in a funk. I dug in and built a little momentum and got a little done. Physically, I am still not normal. I'm still on antibiotics, my ears are still popping, and I'm still easily exhausted. The good news is that I'm feeling so, so much better.

I'm wanting to follow my good friend Becky's advice by having a happy new year party. I usually think in terms of school year anyway. It's a little difficult, though, because memories of Dad pop into my head all the time. They make me stop what I'm doing and think and sometimes cry, sometimes smile. I suppose that will go on for awhile. It just makes me very sad that Dad won't be part of new year.

With the new year brings fear of what may or may not happen as well. It will be full of doctor appointments, adjusting to medications, getting the level just right, and my person fear of seizures. I can't get wrapped up in that, though. That fear is what is doing me in.

Breathe. One moment at a time.

Fear aside, I'm very anxious to start school again. I'm anxious and happily anticipating a normal routine. I'm excited to start learning again. I think that will do me more good, help me get back to a better place in my mind. I need that.

Thomas is doing very well. He still has bursts of frustration about his diagnosis and asks questions out of the blue. I think it's on his mind a lot. He's happy, though. Going to summer camp did more good for him, it renewed him. He's cheerful and optimistic.

Onward...more baby steps to take to get everything accomplished.