Discrimination

Tonight I experienced discrimination firsthand and didn't recognize it for what it was.

I did recognize it only I thought it was sexism in action.

I was wrong.

I was talking to a man -- rather I was *trying* to talk to a man and give him some very helpful information. Not only did he not give me eye-to-eye contact, he wouldn't look at me when I spoke. Not only did he not look at me when I spoke, he didn't look my direction.

He was short, curt and uppity. He didn't want my help. He didn't want me talking to him. That was very clear.

When my family got home from this activity, I discussed it with my husband. I expressed my opinion that the guy was just being a sexist jerk.

My wise husband smiled and started speaking in a gentle tone. Frankie, he said, sexism was only a small part of it. He didn't want contact with you because you are overweight.

I was floored and about to ask why he thought that. Then it dawned on me. That's why the man couldn't even look at me, because I'm overweight.

I cannot understand how someone can hate someone else because of their body shape. Same with skin color. Same with religion. Same with sexual preference. I could write a million "same with" sentences here. I don't understand discrimination.

Really, I just don't get it.

I think the people that can't look you in the eye and are so closed off to any other ideas than their own are the saddest people that walk the face of the earth. I think they must lead the most miserable lives imaginable. I think they are projecting their own self-hatred and self-doubt onto others. I think they are so full of hate that it eats away at them so they lash out at others in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.

I pity them.

My son saw all of this. He also was privy to our conversation after the fact. Another valuable lesson for him. Funny thing is, we don't need to tell him why discrimination in any form is wrong. He knows.

To drive home the lesson, though, I've come up with some vocabulary.

Tomorrow morning's lessons:

From dictionary.com:

discriminate: 2. To make distinctions on the basis of class or category without regard to individual merit ; show preference or prejudice

unreasonable: Not governed by reason.

preconceived: To form (an opinion, for example) before possessing full or adequate knowledge or experience.

conviction: A fixed or strong belief.

prejudice:

n.

1. a. An adverse judgment or opinion formed beforehand or without knowledge or examination of the facts.

b. A preconceived preference or idea.

2. The act or state of holding unreasonable preconceived judgments or convictions.

3. Irrational suspicion or hatred of a particular group, race, or religion.

4. Detriment or injury caused to a person by the preconceived, unfavorable conviction of another or others.

tr. v.

1. To cause (someone) to judge prematurely and irrationally.

2. To affect injuriously or detrimentally by a judgment or an act.

hate:

1. a. To feel hostility or animosity toward.

b. To detest.

2. To feel dislike or distaste for

pity: Sympathy and sorrow aroused by the misfortune or suffering of another.

tolerance: The capacity for or the practice of recognizing and respecting the beliefs or practices of others.

Tomorrow I will teach my son to start seriously questioning. Why do some people believe it is good to beat babies with plastic pipe? Why do people hate fat people? Why is there racial discrimination? Why do some religious people do what they do? I'm sure he will come up with a million questions.

Tomorrow I will stress my favorite line for the millionth time: LIVE AND LET LIVE with the caveat: as long as it does no one or thing harm. If it causes harm, fight it like crazy.

"When I grow up, I wanna be a..."

HEALTH INSPECTOR.

My son said this to me today. I'm thinking, what the heck???

I asked him why and he had a good reason.

"Dad said that sometimes health inspectors are given free food. Companies hire them to watch the wait staff to make sure they don't do anything gross like pick their nose when they're serving food. I want to be a health inspector because I want free food."

And there you have it.

Free food.

Color

I have a thing for color. I was just emailing with a friend that I was kicking myself that I didn't buy a ream of pastel pink copy paper at Office Depot when I was there. She wanted to know what I used it for.

Well, I like color. White is boring to me. When I was in high school, I bought colored paper spiral notebooks and my grades shot through the roof. I also bought a set of thin line makers and would come home from school and re-write all my notes in those colored makers. Weird, huh.

I buy little packs of 100-count pastel paper at Kmart. It's expensive compared to buying a ream at an office store. I like them. Pink is the color I do all my planning on. It's easy to find when I'm looking for some specific plans. My son likes the green. All his math facts sheets are in green pastel. Blues and yellows I use for other things, mostly for me.

I bought a pack of "brights" at Sam's Club at the beginning of the year. The red and blue was too dark to do school work on. We printed everything in orange paper at Halloween.

At Walgreen's the other day, I came across a pack of 100-count colored notebook paper. It's not pastel, it's very bright. Tommy's been doing practice math problems on that. He seems to like color as much as I do. I'll have him do his writing on that this summer.

We still use white paper, mostly for mapwork or if I'm out of pastels. The colored paper makes things more fun and peppy.

I read in a book while I was doing research for homeschooling that if children have difficulty focusing, that you should put their favorite color on their desktop. It will help them to focus. I haven't tried that yet, but it is worth a shot. Tommy has troubles with focus if I'm not in the room. Maybe a trip to the dollar store is in order. I could buy a green poster board and put it on the table.

I also like colored 3x5 cards. We don't use a lot of 3x5 cards, but when Tommy's math facts inexplicably escaped his brain last week, I made my own set of flashcards. I asked him which color he'd like his 9's on. Green. I made flashcards for all the upper multiplication and division problems on separate colors. As I started to make them, he requested certain color Sharpie markers. He told me that 9 is green to him. Six is blue. As much as I love color, I have never put colors with numbers.

Is it any wonder that my kitchen is pink, my hall is blue, my bedroom is purple, Tommy's room is yellow and blue? I really do like lots of color all around me.

Spring Planning

I've just been too frustrated to blog lately. That's because I go blog chasing and get disgusted at what I read. (Pro-Pearl garbage.)

School's been going well. We're over that awful spring-fever hump and going strong. I sat down today with a fresh quarter calendar and our books just to map things out a little. I'm not big on doing X the 23rd, Y the 24th, Z the 25th. We take our time with each subject, slowing down if we want to study further, speeding up and covering only the basics if it's boring. Of course we get sidetracked a lot, especially with science. Not sidetracked, but something piques Tommy's interest and we go off on that tangent. And that's okay by me. =)

It looks as if we are going to finish everything by the end of May. Yes!

Much to my son's dismay, though, I've announced we're doing summer school lite. I've talked about it all year so he knew it was coming. He's very upset. Tommy even asked me today if he could do all his work independently on the weekends so he could be finished a couple weeks earlier. lol Yeah, but...we're still doing summer school. With breaks, though. I certainly don't want to do school every single day.

For the summer I'm planning on continuing with math. It's going well but for math facts. Why is it that a child can pass a 100-problem-timed test several days in a row on his math facts and then wake up one morning and all those facts have escaped his brain? Why? WHY? See mom cry. See mom banging her head on the kitchen table. We will drill, practice, play math fact games until they NEVER escape his brain again. Hopefully.

Also on the schedule is a writing program. I didn't actually buy a new program for summer, I'm going to teach him about some of the different types of writing and then have him start outlining and writing five-paragraph essays. I might also have him do the American History writing program (forget the name, but it's by the Logos school) that I bought and we never used. Ahem. I hope my husband doesn't find out about that, he'll get ticked. He thinks I spend too much on school.

Finally on the summer agenda, science and lots of it. I'm still in the beginning planning stages, but I see lots of mini-units in our future. Lots of outside nature stuff. Lots of experiments. My son has requested a garden. We still have plenty of time to plan the garden, we still have snow on the ground -- plus it snowed again today.

Might throw in a weather station, too. Oh, and astronomy...oh the possibilities.

We tore up the check to Uncle Milton's and have decided to order our hermit crabs from Carolina Biological instead. We're going to be ordering a butterfly kit too. Hopefully we'll find some tadpoles at one of our lakes.

I like the planning stage as much as the carrying-it-out part. My plan is to make summer school seem as if it's not school at all, but lots of fun. If only I could make math fun.

What a waste of money -- Uncle Milton's Hermit Crab Habitat

We went shopping in the big city today. The big city actually has a bookstore, a craft store, decent restaurants, an Office Depot, a mall, a Home Depot and other great places.

While at the craft store, I picked up some things for my son's county fair projects. He found an Uncle Milton's Live Hermit Crab Habitat. $26.99. He didn't beg, he asked nicely if he could have it. We kept trying to explain that it was probably junk but he kept saying how cool it would be to have a hermit crab or two. So after walking through the store, debating, we finally gave in and bought it.

Big mistake.

Our $26.99 got us the cheapest piece of plastic that bends and warps and barely stands up on its own. It is JUNK. Most toy packaging comes with stronger plastic than this thing. The cat will be able to destroy it if he sees a hermit crab inside. If the cat even jumped on it, it would collapse. Everything but food was included. Junk, junk, junk.

Also included was the FREE coupon for a hermit crab. All you have to do is mail the coupon in and include shipping and handling for the crab. $6.95 shipping and handling. $13.95 for two crabs.

RIP OFF!

Because it is a major PITA to drive to the big city to shop, we won't be returning it. We will be using the coupon and spending yet another $13.95 for two hermit crabs. We'll use one of our glass aquariums to house the crabs instead.

I knew better, I knew better, I knew better.

Next time we think of buying something in a city far, far away, I'll be opening the box to check it out first.

$26.99, $13.95 -- I could have bought books!

At the Kitchen Table Tonight...Censorship

Tonight after supper, the three of us started a discussion on censorship. It was very enlightening to all three of us. My son sided with me immediately. My husband took what normally is my role. I took what normally is his role. He is a conservative. I grew up in a liberal family.

I brought the boycott topic up. I asked my husband if he would join me in my boycott. His answer? No.

Of course my jaw dropped to the table.

Why?

Because it's censorship. "As much as I hate it, as much as I hate what they are advocating, it is censorship."

We had a big, long discussion on censorship. My son decided the book should be banned off the face of the earth and then burned. Then we brought up how the conservative right try to and succeed sometimes to ban such books as Harry Potter, Narnia, Heather Has Two Mommies, My Brother Sam is Dead, The Stupids, The Color Purple which was turned into one of mom's all-time favorite movies, to name a few.

I told my son of stories where people have imitated crimes in novels. He thought the novels should be banned.

I told my son that some people hate Disney. He wanted to know why and I said because they are magical, and magic is against the bible's teachings. Maybe those should be banned, too.

We went through a long list of all the types of books out there: How to commit suicide and Kevorkian's books on assisted suicide. Had to get a little off topic with that to explain what that was.

We should ban those.

We kept bringing up other books and topics that might be offensive to some.

All should be banned.

Then I said to my son: Guess what? There are no books left. All books have been banned. Every book out there is going to be offensive to someone.

His eyes got huge. I could almost see that light bulb above his head going on.

At this point my husband got into a little bit of a "discussion" about children's rights. We bantered back and forth. We even brought up the cult that is demonstrating at the American soldiers' funerals. My husband, although he hated what they did, thought they should have freedom of speech. Then he jokingly added that he wants the right to protest the protesters. The protesters infuriate me and I don't know if I'm big enough to support their right of freedom of speech in that forum. Gulp.

My husband asked me how I could believe in censorship.

I couldn't come up with an answer right off the bat. How can I? It goes against everything I believe in: Freedom of choice, freedom of speech, live and let life. How can I believe in censorship?

After sitting there for a few very awkward moments, I turned to my son and said this: I am against censorship. Vehemently against it. However, sometimes we have to stand up for our principles. My view on the safety of children is stronger than my view on censorship. In my perspective, the greater good is to protect children and stop the production of child-abuse manuals and devices that are produced for the sole intent of inflicting pain. It may be wrong in the realm of censorship, but it is right in my heart and for children. I believe in it and therefore I will continue with my boycott.

My husband and I agreed to respect each other's choice. I do admire him for taking a stand on such a painful subject. I will add that he thinks the author was probably the child who mutilated bugs, pulled the wings off flies, killed baby birds, etc., because he was so cruel.

19 free gifts

Okay, so maybe I'm getting a little petty here, but this question has been at the back of my mind since I heard of a certain magazine.

Why do they need to give 19 free gifts to get you to subscribe? I've heard of magazines like Time, for instance, giving one free gift or Sports Illustrated giving one free gift, but why 19?

It makes me think they are desperate for subscriptions. Is it that bad of a magazine, they have to give you 19 free gifts to get you to order?

19?

First listed is Focus on the Family. That's enough to get me running in the other direction PRONTO. And yes, I am a Christian. (A point that is really nobody's business, but just added for emphasis -- the silent group speaking up, Doc.)

Scrolling down the list, oh, there's BJU Press...another supplier that I will never buy from. Ever. Not even used.

Scrolling further...oh wait, LOOK, it's NO GREATER JOY, Debi Pearl’s best homeschooling ideas from 20-plus years of homeschooling.

Yup, free, with your subscription. No Greater Joy. Free. One of the 19.

Three strikes, you're out.

Becky's Boycott Business

My very good friend, Becky at Farm School, wrote a very powerful letter regarding the boycott. Please, take a moment and read it. Thank you, Becky, and bravo!

Boycott Business

Memories of Public School Sexism

H at Not School has an excellent post entitled Pass Me the Vomit Bag. It reinforces something that I was thinking about just yesterday.
When my son was in public school, his school had to take part in a research project where someone came in and did weird exercises. It was supposed to fire up neurons and actually build more neurons in the brain.

My son hated it. You have to know my son to appreciate this, but he's very serious just like his mom and dad, and he just isn't the type kid that can bark like a seal, dance in public, or crawl on the floor like an alligator in front others. He just cannot do it. And that's okay.

And he didn't. And I got phone calls. "He's not participating. We can't make him do this. He needs this to build his brain."

So, this mom, who volunteered twice a week in his classroom already, went in three days in a row during this brain boost project. The kids did it on a daily basis the entire year. It wasn't bad, but I thought it was all rather silly. Had I been a child and forced to do it, I wouldn't have done it either -- parts of it.

So I watched the first morning, and my son sat with me because he refused to participate. We went home that night and discussed it. My final directive to him was do the parts that don't embarrass you. Barking like a seal was terribly embarrassing for him. Really, he's that sensitive. I would have been too. I told him he didn't have to do what made him uncomfortable.

I show up the next day and lo and behold, my son actually participates in parts of it -- the parts he feels comfortable with. I'm satisfied and proud he faced his fears. They aren't. He needs to do all of it to build his brain up.

So at the dinner table that night, I discuss this with my husband. He decides to take a half hour off work and go watch. I went a third time. My husband got down on the floor with the kids and did everything in the program.

My son wouldn't have done a thing if I had not encouraged him, given him permission to do only what's comfortable, to add things slowly.
My son had participated that day and the day before because I had made him feel safe and gave him freedom of choice.

I think it was wonderful that my husband went and was supportive. I know many men wouldn't do that. It did not make my son do the things he felt uncomfortable with, though. Dad was performing his parental obligation to help his son, nothing more.

Here's the kicker. The staff at that school put my husband up on the highest pedestal. He could do no wrong. He was basically worshipped! The rest of that school year I heard, "Your husband is so wonderful." "How's your husband?" "I can't believe how supportive and loving your husband is." "Tell your husband hello for us." "He's such a good father." Oh puke.

He shows up for a half hour one day and he is suddenly a male-parent god? Because he's male and took an interest in his son in front of an audience of public school staff, he's promoted to sainthood? Because he's actually performing his father role he is adored? I was shocked and appalled at the way he was treated versus how I was treated. I mean, I was there volunteering twice a week. I was the one that did homework after school, that took DS to the library weekly, that read all the classroom newsletters. My husband shows up for a half hour and is the man all men should aspire to be?

My husband is a good man and a good father. But by the mere fact he showed up for a half hour does not make him a saint. And he will be the first to admit that. My son learned a valuable lesson in sexism that year. We discussed it openly and honestly at home.

It was that same treat-them-like-they're-four-years-old mentality that H was discussing in her blog. We, the parents, are children and needed to be treated as if we are completely ignorant and unaware of our parental responsibilities. We need to be talked down to yet praised for our efforts. My husband was doing his job: he was being a father. Why do they not respect the mothers that are doing their jobs, too? When will they realize that there are a lot of people out there that take their parenting responsibilities very seriously.

As my son says way too often, sheesh.

Another HS Cartoon

Cute Cartoon

Frankie Preaches, Kinda Sorta

This is one of my favorite emails that's been floating around for years. I've been meaning to post it here for awhile, and today just seems appropriate.

Use your brains, people. This really is a good example of picking and choosing bible passages as a way of justification: In this example, it's silly. Put your brains to work regarding beating your children. Silly can't even describe it. Criminal does.

Dear Dr. Laura, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22
clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them.

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
Abomination (Lev 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

g) Lev 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

h) Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev 19:27. How should they die?

i) I know from Lev 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

j) My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does
his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev 24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.
20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. Your devoted disciple and adoring fan.

INNOCENT CHILD DEAD -- BOYCOTT

I had started a post last weekend about a book called To Train Up a Child. It is the only book that I have ever thrown away not due to poor condition. I do not believe in book censorship, but that trash has no business in anyone's home. I stopped reading after the authors stated to pull the hair of an infant who was biting while nursing and to thump an infant when he started to pull hair, glasses, etc.

A fundamentalist friend gave me the book. It made me ill. I deleted the post before publishing because it was making me physically ill to think of all the abused children. I should have finished the entry and posted.

And now I've come to learn that an innocent child has been murdered by his mother who followed the advice of the authors of To Train Up a Child. Story

I wondered when I read that book years ago why the authors were not turned in for child abuse and promoting child abuse. I did nothing but throw the book away. I will take a stand now.


BOYCOTT

Michael and Debi Pearl
homeschoolblogger.com
The Old School House Magazine
Advertisers at The Old School House Magazine
advertisers


That child's blood is on your hands, Michael and Debi Pearl. According to my bible, murder is a SIN. Your actions are criminal.

Let's go beyond blogging. Let's start a letter writing campaign, or an email campaign, to all the advertisers at The Old School House Magazine. If they continue to advertise in a magazine that promotes child abuse, we, the homeschooling public, will not buy their products. What can we do further? America is a land of free speech, but when that speech promotes child abuse which is illegal, what can we do?

How do they sleep at night knowing the pain and torture that is inflicted upon innocent children at their direction?

Bloggers outraged:

http://beingbridget.blogspot.com/2006/03/boycott-supporters-of-child-abuse.html
http://dantesvirgil.blogspot.com/2006/03/repulsive-hipocrisy-boycott-these.html
http://intothesunrise.blogspot.com/
http://evilmissy.blogspot.com/
http://deskfullofclutter.blogspot.com/
http://asmallcornerofnowhere.blogspot.com/
http://lifewithheathens.blogspot.com/2006/03/boycott-refuse-to-support-abuse.html
http://www.odonnellweb.com/
http://cobranchi.com/


If you want to be added to the list, let me know.

May it be noted I am a Christian and I have never in my life believed in spanking or any form of child abuse.

County Fair Arts and Crafts

Last year my son entered things in the county fair under the Cub Scout division. He won lots of ribbons and a little cash, too. It was a lot of fun. He'll enter under Cub Scouts again this year. As we were walking through the fair, we spotted the 12 and under arts and crafts exhibits. We decided that it would be cool to incorporate County Fair Arts and Crafts into our school. I saved last year's fair book and typed up select categories that are boyish enough and I think my son might enjoy doing.

I'm scratching my head on some of these categories, though. Plastics? What does it mean, plastics? Liquid painting or stenciling? Isn't all paint liquid? I don't get that one, either.

I thought I'd share what we are doing because I know there are county fairs all over the country. My son was thrilled seeing his creations up on display, and was even more thrilled when he got ribbons. (He won the grand champion for Scouts division, which was very cool.) I highly recommend entering the county fair. As my son said, "Mom, plain and simple, it's just cool!"

Maybe some of you crafters have some ideas to help us out. We have no Wal-Mart in our town. We have no craft store, either. We are 60 miles from the nearest Hobby Lobby. I hardly ever go to Hobby Lobby because I spend too much money there. (In other words, I can't just hop in my car to go get ideas.)

County Fair Arts and Crafts

Basketry

Either buy a kit or find something on the internet. A rope basket would be cool.

Ceramics

Buy something and have DS paint it.

Plastics

???

Wreath or swag

Probably not, not too boyish...unless we made a Harry Potter wreath. Would a Christmas wreath count or would that have to be under Holiday.

Wall hanging

Something Harry Potter. ???

Beadwork

Make a bead wristband or a beadie.
Patterns
More Patterns

Recycled
Cool Recycled Site
DS will be making a train similar to that on this website. We have all the parts saved up, just need to build it.

Toy, small

???

Painting on item

Will buy a box or plaque and have him paint a scene or design.

Paper craft

quilling, oragami, paper airplanes...???

Liquid painting or stenciling

???

Leather

Leather moccasins

Craft stick item
probably a craft stick bridge. However, DS has free access to the craft sticks and builds with them all the time. His latest creation is a telephone holder. It's a major PITA because the phone falls off, but we use it anyway.

Holiday
Christmas wall hanging

Not specified
??? Could have fun but I'm drawing a blank

Quilt

DS has been begging to learn to make a quilt. (Probably because of my civil-war era quilts from my great-grandparents that I love so much) I have purchased everything, just need to give up control over MY sewing machine and quilting supplies. Gulp. Will make a baby quilt log cabin style with the Quilt in a Day pattern.

Pillow

?? Does Wal-Mart still sell Harry Potter fabric? How creative can you really get with a pillow? Will search the net.

Stuffed Animal

Need to find pattern...I'm wondering if a yarn snake would qualify as a stuffed animal. It's not really stuffed, but cool. My pattern is like a pom-pom snake, as long as you want to make it...wouldn't an eight-foot long snake be cool?

Latchhook

Have kit, have started.

Construction – wood or metal

Hmmm, the choices are wide open.

Collection of items – small

Ha ha, snort, too many collections here. Will probably spray paint an egg carton and display rocks. Last year he displayed his state keychains in cub scouts.

Photography – framed (made to hang)

Time to hand over the camera.

Picture – number painting (made to hang)

Have purchased, need to start.

Picture – any type

Probably a picture of his dream house, which there are at least a million of around here.

Refinished furniture

I have a night table that is old and ugly. He could use it in his room. Would painting qualify rather than staining?

Woodcarving

Sky's the limit here.

For your morning coffee

Have a cup of coffee with me this morning.

My son and I both think this is pretty funny. Put the coin in the slot, select your coffee and then make sure to click on apri after the coffee pours.

Really, this reflects my sense of humor.

And on another note, we got a cool email today with sidewalk drawings. We liked them so much we searched the artist, Julian Beever. Scroll down and check them out. Our favorite is the boat followed closely by the Coke bottle. Very talented!

Purity Fire

I received this from my local homeschool group. Okay, I admit that I am in a mini-depression right now. This kind of thing just does not help. At first I laughed at it because it was so funny, but then it fueled my depression because I want a homeschool group that isn't so extreme, so weird.

I wasn't going to blog this because the local hs group people have been very nice to me, have not preached. However, this is so against my beliefs and so stupid that I just couldn't not share it.

The two big questions are: What is a manly meal? Is it prepared by young virgin girls so it is pure?

What exactly do they do at the purity fire? Throw the boys into the fire?

I know...they tell the manly men and boys to not visit www.themarriagebed.com because they got smart and figured out that is just a place where Christians can discuss porn under the guise of their religion.

Shaking my head.

PURITY FIRE

For young men 7-12 grade and their fathers

April 8,2006
at 6:00 p.m.

at the XYZ Farm

Cost of $15.00 pair ($5.00/ additional son)

The evening will begin with a manly meal, followed
by music and skits. Mr. ABC will challenge and inspire
father and sons to be pure.

Reserve your tickets by calling ???

It was that bad.

This is one of the buildings downtown where I live. A friend of my husband's took it. You don't see that every day -- that's how windy it was yesterday during our blizzard. Kinda funny looking, but helped to reaffirm why I was in a very bad mood yesterday.

Let's Ban March

I think March should be outlawed. Maybe the last two weeks of February, too.

We had gorgeous weather Saturday that turned in a hurry. We are in a blizzard now except they call it a winter storm nowadays. Schools were closed, although we ended up doing three subjects anyway. It's actually pretty and much more tolerable than blizzards in colder months.

I was highly annoyed by one of the moms from scouts. She called my house four times this morning and let the phone ring nine to ten times each. I don't answer the phone during school. There are several reasons for this. One, I am spending time with my son and teaching and/or supervising him. Two, I have a propensity to gab and gab and gab when the phone rings. Depending who is on the other end, I can talk for a couple hours. Three, I think my son needs to learn that things can wait and to keep focused on what he's doing. Anyway, the mom emailed me instead. She made the comment that "someone must be on the internet this morning because they aren't answering the phone." Now in print that doesn't look bad, but if you heard her say it...highly snippy and sarcastic and bitchy.

I am in such a bad mood and it just seems to be spilling over to everything. Sigh.

My sister called tonight and talked an hour. She was diagnosed with diabetes today. My heart breaks for her. My half sister has it as well. My mom had it and my dad has it. All adult onset. I don't -- yet, but if I don't lose some weight and take better care of myself. She lectured me to wake up before it was too late. She's right.

I just cannot seem to focus on anything. Everything seems to be a major task. I have library books sitting here that were due Feb. 28th. Aargh! I'm not bipolar, really, I'm not -- but I just seem to be bouncing up and down lately. Last week was all down, I had a short reprieve Saturday, and Sunday and today I'm down again. It stinks. It's hard to do school when I'm like this. Today was another jammie day -- for me.

Someone needs to whack me upside the head to get me going. If my mom were alive, I'd be lectured severely. Of course she's probably the reason that I get depressed anyway, she was a carbon copy of Joan Crawford. (I'm NOT kidding, either.) I haven't broken all of my learned responses and reactions yet.

March last year was such a struggle, too. I really think the month should disappear. I don't like to whine all the time and that seems to be all my blog is lately, whine.

Ugh.

Sour Saturday

So we get up this morning, early, my son and I, hop in the car and go to breakfast. Biscuits and gravy for DS and eggs for me. After breakfast, we hop and skip on to the church where we will start a scouting adventure. We are to deliver bags house to house for scouting for food.

Tons of people show up, all are parent-with-child. Then one in my den shows up and the mom says, "Frankie, can I just drop Fred off? I am going to be at work and he can walk to work when you're done. I stood there with my mouth open. You mean to tell me you are too lazy to take your kid on this project? Get off your duff, set an example, be a parent. The man next to me said, "He can ride with us" because I was so dumbfounded I couldn't speak. Then I literally did the head shake thing getting myself back into reality. I said sure, and she had him go with us.

So we get our assignment -- all of three blocks, another idiotic move from the simpleton, and head off. Fred immediately calls, "I'm riding shotgun, runs to my van, hops in the front seat. Okay. Somebody needs a lesson in manners. I open his door, have him get out of the front seat. He's glaring at me. I told him, first of all, you do not call dibs when riding in someone else's car. Secondly, you are not tall enough to ride in the front seat. Air bags kill children. (My car doesn't have passenger front seat air bags, it's that old, but he didn't need to know that, it's still unsafe.)

So Fred and my son get in the back seat. Fred was not speaking to anyone at the church before we left so I knew he was in a bad mood. It got worse. This is how the car ride from the church to our designated area went:

ME: How are you, Fred?
Fred: Tired. (Said in a short, blunt, rude manner.)
Tommy: Hi Fred.
Fred: No answer.
ME: How was school this week, Fred?
Fred: Fine. (Short, blunt, rude....as all the answers were.)
ME: Why are you so tired?
Fred: I read last night.
ME: What did you read?
Fred: A book. (Extreme sarcasm.)
ME: What book?
Fred: A Christmas present.
ME: What was the name of the book?
Fred: I dunno.
ME: Was it good?
Fred: MMM.
Tommy: Have you been playing Runescape lately? What level are you up to now?
Fred: No answer.
Tommy: Oh, cool, look at that house, it has a deck on the roof.
Fred: So what.

long silence

ME: Okay. When we get to the first street, how would you guys like to distribute the bags?
Fred: I'm choosing which side I do.
ME: Uhm, is that okay with you, Tommy?
Tommy: Yes.
TOMMY: Did you know we're going to work on our engineering badge this week?
Fred: So what.

I parked the car, gave the lecture not to walk through lawns and to make sure the bags don't fly away.

The boys get out. Fred picks his side of the street and DS starts his side. Fred proceeds to walk through every single lawn. We have a strict rule to not do that because it is disrespectful. Fred also takes his sweet time. He's slower than molasses. My son finished his side and I told him to start on Fred's side. Fred got really ticked off about that, but we're not going to stand there and watch him -- what a waste of time. If Fred had his heart in it and a good attitude, I would have had DS wait in the car.

We get in the car, go to the second street. Fred refuses to speak when spoken to. He glares when I ask him to put his seatbelt on. I ask him what is wrong, and he snorts: tired. We stop the car, Fred throws half the bags into the back of the van, more on the floor and jumps and runs out of the car. My son had to pick up the bags that he threw on the floor. Fred started screaming at my son, "This is my side of the street, go away."

I wasn't thinking. I should have had him get in the car and taken him to his mother's work right then. Why wasn't I thinking? He refused to talk the rest of the time. He was such a snot. We finished the third street, this time I just had my son get in the car while we waited and waited on Fred.

As we were driving back, my son started asking him other questions which Fred totally ignored. I asked him a question and he ignored me, too. I pulled the car over, put it in park, turned around and said, "You are being very disrespectful to Tommy and I. You are also hurting our feelings." He just stared at me. I waited at least a minute. I said, "Perhaps you didn't hear me. You are being very disrespectful to Tommy and I." This time he eeked out an "I'm sorry."

I started driving again, my son started trying to start a conversation again, was being ignored. I dropped him off. He squeaked out a thank you and slammed the door.

I was fuming.

I left a message on his mom's answering machine but she hasn't called me back. When we drove away, I told my son if he ever acted like that he would be beat and grounded until he was 18. I don't beat my son, I don't believe in spanking, but I was ready to tear my hair out with Fred.

Fred comes from a good, fundamentalist Christian family. He goes to a parochial school. His parents are always preaching, they even have one of those bible-phrase email addresses. I have always been a little lenient with Fred in the past because his parents harp on him continuously to the point it is almost verbally abusive. Those days of my being lenient are over. That kid was rude. It was bad enough he was rude to me, but it was inexcusable how rude he was to my son.

So I'm going to give a big lecture at our next den meeting on manners. Big. I'm not naming names, I'm not pointing fingers, but I'm going to talk about it ad naseum.

After that, both DS and I were in a bad mood, we didn't need that crap while trying to do something good for our community! We pull into our driveway and nearly run into boys from a different pack. We hop out, ask them if they need help. The leader said they had half the city to do and only these five boys showed up. My son and I were eager volunteers. He gave us several blocks to do and more bags. So we delivered the rest of the bags. In peace.

What a morning. On a different note, I was very proud of my son today. Before we got to the church, I asked him to just leave his hat in the car because I didn't want to deal with the simpleton. He looked at me and said, "But mom, if I do, we're letting "him" bully us. Smart kid. He proudly wore his cap into the church. He's learning to stand up for his principles when I want to take the easy way out. Good job, Tommy.

The Fun Stops Today

My son and I had a fun week. In a rare turn of events, my husband was out of town. We did one subject per day this week. We watched movies, played games, and let our hair down. We ate out and we ate Girl Scout cookies.

Reality sets in this morning as I'm drinking my coffee. Time to clean the house, pay the bills (why am I always late paying the bills?) menu plan, grocery shop, be a responsible parent, spouse, person....bluuuuuch.

Spring fever has clutched me so tight that I can barely breathe. The great outdoors is a soggy mess as our great snow melts. Not quite let's-go-to-the-park time due to mud. Last year I remember telling my husband we needed to take time off in the spring or approaching spring because it is next to impossible to school. I scheduled two weeks off in April. Next year I'll be scheduling a week off in February and a week or two weeks off in March.

Summer is such a welcome diversion. It's weird because we get bored starting in July. There are always so many activities in June to keep us busy. I'm thinking that July should be a school month. It's too hot and humid to be outside that much, there are no fun activities set, and the skeeters are out.

We'll definitely be doing school in the summer. We will not finish our Rod and Staff English, and I want to finish that. I want my son to continue doing math and reading daily. I'd also like to delve into some fun financial studies that we just don't have time for during "regular" school.

I laugh about this a lot, but it seems as if there is never enough time to do all that I want to do. It is weird to me because we are homeschoolers and, well, at home. It's not like we are confined to a strict 8-3 public school schedule. Still, there's only so much school one can expect of a child in a day. Well, at least my child. Well, at least me.

I don't know if this spring fever business is a result of my aging or my geographic location. I've always had a touch of spring fever no matter where I lived, but here in Minnesota, I just want to climb out of my skin. I've always been one to enjoy gray days because bright sun hurts my eyes. There seems to be something special about gray days that enables me to get a lot done. A lot. Now, however, my day's progress is based on whether the sun is out or we have a gray day. A gray day now means a depressing atmosphere. It's like a heavy burden pressing on my shoulders.

I think back to when I worked for a living. I didn't get spring fever that bad then. Was it because I had no choice but to work, work, work? My mind was completely occupied with work. Maybe I'm too lenient on myself and my son due to spring fever. Maybe I'm not setting the correct example by having had a light week this week. Maybe I'm screwing up my son for life, destroying any chance at instilling a decent work ethic... NAH. I remember when he was in public school and I volunteered, the kids were climbing the walls. The teachers told me that spring was really tough. It was testing time and there were lots of movie days, lots of let's sneak outside for this or that activities.

Back to reality, sipping my coffee, facing my catch-up day. Bluch. Next week we'll hit the books hard. We'll have renewed our spirit, we'll be well-rested. We'll both have excellent attitudes, neither of us whining...it will be perfect.

Ha ha ha! One can hope.