my downfall

I stole candy from a baby today. Well, actually it wasn't candy, it was the last bag of chocolate chip muffins. Darn, they're good. Poor Thomas was saving the last bag for him, but I ate it. I didn't feel guilty, either.

I wonder why I'm fat -- 250 calories, 14 grams of fat in each mouth-watering bag containing 5 muffins. Argh. Each box has four bags of muffins. Cost is $3.29, or if we're lucky and catch a sale, two boxes for $5.

I don't buy these often because they're gone in a matter of hours. I can feel pounds of fat forming on my body -- my skin painfully stretching by just eating one bag. Okay, I am exaggerating, but I know these are killers for my weight-health.

I make great muffins. I have played around with standard muffin recipes quite a bit and ended up with a mean batch of oatmeal chocolate chip muffins. I also have the very-best-in-the-world bran muffin recipe. Both my concoctions are yummy, healthy, and low in fat -- but they just aren't Hostess Mini-Muffins.

So in terms only a 10-year-old can appreciate: I got the last bag, nanny-nanny poo-poo.

I'm so evil!

COMMENTS FROM THOMAS: What a terrible person to steal from their kid! Those were mine, I'm mad! I love mom anyway.

First Week Down

Our first week of homeschooling this year is now under our belt. What did I learn?

1) I hate the spelling program that I bought and it is history. Yes, I bought Rod and Staff spelling. No, it wasn't a good fit. Yes, I knew it wouldn't be a good fit when I bought it, but for some reason I bought it anyway. Thomas tested at grade level with spelling, but he's not a good speller. We liked Sequential Spelling, but Thomas likes rules. Give him a rule and he'll remember it. Ugh. Live and learn. Back to the drawing board. I think we'll switch back to Sequential and read a spelling rules book I bought at Rainbow. I'll need to spend a bit of time tweaking this weekend.

2) Rod and Staff English is a hit. It was last year, too. I only wish that Growing With Grammar had their 5th grade program out, which we liked even better, but it's not, so Rod and Staff will have to do. We do the entire book orally. This year I am having Thomas do worksheets corresponding to the lesson. We had the worksheet book last year but I was hit and miss assigning them. I really think this is a very solid English program. (Which is probably why I tried their spelling -- I was hopeful.)

3) Math is math. Thomas hates math, although he is good math concepts. I have an entire blog entry swimming around in my head about math that I need to write. Someday soon.

4) History, world and US, is a hit. Easy for me, because both are CDs. We're loving Hakim's book on CD and we snuggle up in my bed while it plays. It's quick, it's easy, and Thomas remembers. World History we're doing SOTW. I debated doing I or II and ended up starting II. I have the activity book, but honestly, coloring sheets are not Thomas's style. I doubt we'll do much in the way of activities listed in their book, but we do have the book out when we listen to the CD because we look at the maps as the CD is playing. I'll add in map work and supplemental books to both as time goes on.

We expanded a little on the Romans in Chapter One of SOTW. I got a bunch of videos from the library and we watched those. One was on Pompeii. I was there when I was 17. What they didn't show in the video we watched was their fascination with sex. We were allowed into one room, while in Pompeii, that had all kinds of sculptures with the male human anatomy greatly exaggerated. The teacher we were with wouldn't let us into any of the other rooms -- I'm still upset over that! I'll never forget the one room, though. I don't know how one particular statute stood up -- "it" was the size of an arm. Gee, that's all I seem to remember from Pompeii. Shame on me. ;-) No, I didn't share that with Thomas. But it raced through my mind the entire time we watched the video.

Last night we watched Gladiator. Russell Crowe is so easy on the eyes, even as he's whacking someone's head off. I prepared Thomas ahead of time that it was going to be gory, violent and gross. We all loved the movie and I don't think the gore did any damage to Thomas. I can't believe that movie came out in 2000, won best Oscar, and we had not seen it yet! I'm glad I noticed it at our library.

Science needs some more work. My husband is in charge of Switched on Schoolhouse Science. He hasn't spent enough time figuring out the program and getting things assigned. It is kind of complicated for a first-time user. So that needs some work. However, I am doing science with Thomas as well. I grabbed How Science Works and we've been reading every night. I did not buy stuff for experiments and Thomas is quite upset with that. So I need to do that this weekend and hope the stuff will get here quickly.

The absolute best thing I did this year, though, was schedule really light days on Fridays. We do math and world history, plus Thomas has to read. That's it. What a luxury that is. I almost felt guilty Friday morning, but quickly got over it. This light Friday business might just keep me sane throughout the year.

We're doing lots of other stuff too, but those are the highlights. Thomas has a favorite. I bought him a logic book. He loves it, begs to do it, and will be done way too soon. I wasn't going to buy another this year, but I have changed my mind. I have to remember to encourage what he loves. He watches me do Sudoku after Sudoku, so why should he be able to do logic page after page if he wants!

This year's classroom photo

Pardon the fuzzy photo, it's a camera phone, what can I say. We did a little rearranging this year. Added was a desk that I picked up at a garage sale at an area public school for $1. The little table holding the hermit crab tank in the back corner was also $1 at the same sale. Oh, and the tank holding the hermit crabs was also $1 at the same sale! Whoops, can't forget the chair with the ugly blue chairpad on it -- also $1. I use that chair, believe it or not. It actually causes me less back pain than an adult-sized chair! It comes in very handy as a step stool, too.

The file thingamabob on my desk I got at a garage sale for a quarter. I'm so damned cheap! lol Of course I picked up tons of nice reading material at garage sales, too. Can we say tightwad? Oh, no, perhaps frugal diva might be better. Yeah, I like that one better.

I wonder if Thomas will grow up and complain about his garage-sale furnished childhood. tee-hee

We are liking this arrangement much better. It created lots more surface area in such a tiny room. I like having books on my desk. Thomas likes that his desk has compartments down the side to hold many books and his Alphasmart. Of course he doesn't like the "Tyler sucks" that was scratched into the edge of his desk. Oh well, I guess he could get the sandpaper out and erase it.

Even with our "nice" (to us, at least) classroom, I still go stir crazy in there. If Thomas had his way, he'd do all school in there. I can't. The first day of school this year we did and I found it boring, boring, boring. So we have decided to compromise and take turns picking where we'll study. I like to bounce around. Thomas will still snuggle with me when I'm reading to him, and our big chair is great for that!

This room is fantastic as it contains everything, including all homeschool supplies, all kid books, five hermit crabs, a cat that will not leave us alone, a dog that will not leave me alone, and probably a few spiders to boot.

How Strange!

I had written my last blog entry wishing I had a photo of the special puppy. Our camera is not working right, so I didn't run to snap a shot. Both DH and I just got new cell phones with cameras. Well, how strange is it that my husband, not knowing I had blogged about the puppy, took a photo of it and sent it to me!

So, here is Thomas's beloved puppy, affectionately known as Dot. We could write a book on her adventures and travels, the worst being lost in Kmart for a week. I'll save that for another day.

Heartfelt tears

One of the things I find so special and endearing about my son is he is so compassionate. That compassion runs from people to objects, but especially feelings.

Today, while he was finishing up On the Banks of Plum Creek, he burst into tears. Tears were pouring down his cheeks! I asked him what on earth was the matter. He was furious at Ma. It seems Ma made Laura give away Charlotte, Laura's beloved rag doll.

Immediately I sped back 30 years into the mid 70s, sitting on our green couch with my toes just barely touching the (ugly) green shag carpeting. There I sat bawling. Why? Because Ma made Laura give away Charlotte, Laura's beloved rag doll.

Like mother like son.

Thomas kept saying: She had no right, she had no right! What a bad parent. I told him I agreed that it was a bad decision. We discussed manners of their day, manners of our day, and why Ma did what she did. I also took his book and showed him that she apologized because she hadn't realized Charlotte meant so much to Laura. I explained that she was human and subject to err -- as we all are. I explained that I was just as horrified at what she did when I was a child (and even today!) as he was. We also discussed how it worked out in the end.

Oh, but to be forced to give away that one something special.

My special something when I was a child was a yellow Baby Beans doll. Her name was Jody Ann. (What was I thinking with that name?) After reading the above-mentioned passage, I remember hugging her tight and hoping my mom would never give her away or put her in one of her garage sales like she did so many of my toys. She didn't. Jody Ann is still in my household today. There's a picture of a doll just like Jody Ann here at the very bottom.

Thomas's special thing is a black and white Playskool puppy. He got it for Easter before he turned one and it has been with him ever since. It's been to every state Thomas has. Thomas even took it to South Carolina last fall. Although the puppy is not the constant companion it once was, "puppy" will always be a part of our home. It's his one something special.

Thomas related to Laura giving up Charlotte. To him, it would have been like giving up his puppy. To me, it would have been like giving up Jody Ann.

Thomas ended up finishing the book today after I got him calmed down. Let me just say, though, that his dad got an ear full at the dinner table about Ma's poor choice.

I wonder how many children over time that bothered. ;-)

Thomas isn't spoiled, stingy or selfish. He shares, gives things away that surprise me -- it's just that he related to the specialness of Charlotte.

Duh

Well, I feel stupid. Tuesday I peaked out the window and saw no kids at the bus stop. I was surprised by that.

This afternoon we had a weekly paper delivered at 1:45 pm by one of Thomas' former classmates. I'm thinking -- why in the heck isn't that kid in school!

At about 2:15 this afternoon, I noticed older kids outside playing. I couldn't figure it out! School started Tuesday.

Well, how soon we forget! This is our third year out of public school and I completely forget about the back-to-school conferences! The Tues and Wed after Labor Day, they hold 15-minute back-to-school conferences for all kids in K-6 here. And get this: They count both days as official school days!

On the one hand, when I was the parent of a public school kiddo, I appreciated those back-to-school conferences because Thomas got to meet his teacher, take all his crap--er, school suplies in ahead of time, and it was less scary for him. It was nice for me to meet the teacher instead of waiting for the first fall parent teacher conference.

However, I am astonished that they get to claim that as an official school day and get away with it.

So, I'm ticked that we started too soon. lol Well, not really, I guess, because we're getting a good routine going. I'll peak out the window tomorrow morning and check out the cute twins across the street as they start kindergarten...I remember Thomas at that age, and all the kids in the neighborhood. They all wore backpacks that were almost bigger than they were.

Now it seems so wrong to send such young children off into the world. I knew it wasn't right then, but didn't have a husband who was on the same wavelength as I was.

Oh well. Live and learn.

I think a party is in order tomorrow. A not back-to-school party, as I keep reading about on blogs. Maybe another run for biscuits and gravy is in order. lol Any excuse to not cook breakfast here!

First Day!

Today was our first day of 5th grade. We'd been practicing going to bed early and getting up early in anticipation. ... Like you can really practice that! It was a long, hard day -- for mom.

We did our annual biscuits and gravy breakfast. Hopped in the car right as the school bus drove by then hit Hardees. That has always been a great incentive for getting Thomas up and out of bed.

Started school at 8:10. By 11:00 I thought I was going to drop. I was sooooo tired. Thomas was working on his math and I went to lie down on my bed -- just for a few minutes. 45 minutes later Thomas woke me up asking what was next. Good grief!

The afternoon "session" was strange. We break our day and do stuff in both morning and afternoon, and the afternoon I scheduled reading time for Thomas so that I could take a nap (if needed, which sadly happens frequently.) Today we were also going to do geography and science in the afternoon. Thomas threw me a curve ball today, though. When his appointed time was up for reading, he insisted he get to read longer. He was really enjoying his book. (One of the Little House Series which he didn't finish this past summer as I had hoped.) Well, he read for an hour and a half longer than he was supposed to.

That's a good thing, right? I told my husband and he said well, he doesn't have to read tomorrow. I said bull! He has to read daily. So DH was upset we didn't do geography or science today. DH was supposed to take over science, but he didn't have anything prepared except for Thomas to identify a huge moth he caught. So tonight Thomas and I snuggled up in my bed tonight, read about matter from How Science Works and then drew maps of the world and labeled them. We have a lot of geography learning ahead of us, because sadly, neither of us did a very good job. It was fun, though, and will be great to compare today's maps to the maps we will do at the end of the year.

I took a sleeping pill a half hour ago in hopes that I'll be asleep by 11 tonight. I think we'll get up a tad bit later tomorrow morning. I'm hoping this old bird can get used to the schedule this week so I'm not dragging so badly! Thomas did fine. The rest of the week I can see me tweaking our schedule, adding and dropping some things.

All in all, I'm so happy that we said goodbye to the public school a few years ago. Homeschooling is wonderful.

Saturday Afternoon ups and downs

Thomas has been playing outside all day. I get a little worried when I don't see him zipping in and out or in the neighbor's yard, but I assume (hope!) he's fine. It's about time to call the mom down the road to see what the boys are up to.

I haven't felt like blogging at all. I have such a feeling of sadness. Sometimes, after almost 17 years of marriage, I lose touch with my husband's feelings -- or he loses touch of mine and we just tend to exist together. It runs in spurts, and I think it's a comfort thing, like wearing an old, worn pair of shoes or jeans. That feeling is gone, now, as I watch him. I can see his stress and worry on his face. His entire demeanor has changed. My heart aches for him.

Losing a parent (or anyone) is always difficult. My husband confessed it's been years since he's lost anyone. He was young when his grandparents passed. We were newly married when the final grandma passed. This one is so much closer to home.

Anyway, as my husband said the night we wept together at the Pizza Hut, it makes you appreciate those you love more. He was right. I have been flooded with feelings for my man. Even though he's testy and a little grumpy, I just feel so drawn to him right now. He hurts, therefore I hurt. I just want to hug him and make it all better.

The cowboy had a very rough night last night. We got the phone call that he may not make it through the night. He had developed pneumonia. Well, he made it through the night and is a little better today, but he's still on shaky ground. I wonder if he will ever be able to go home again -- even for a short time. I just can't imagine leaving for a doctor's appointment and cat scan and never going home again.

It's weird, but when Thomas and I were alone that night at the cowboy's house, I did dishes. They don't have a dishwasher, so I had to wash by hand. I picked up the Cowboy's coffee cup that was sitting next to his chair. I knew that was the cup he had used for his morning coffee that very morning. The thought ran across my mind: I wonder if this is his last cup of coffee here. Weird as it may seem, I almost didn't want to wash the cup. I wanted to save it and just look at it for awhile. I wanted it to give me some peace -- like he going to walk in at any minute, sit down at the table with me and have a cup of coffee together.

Life is short. Hug those you love. Even if they're grumpy, stressed, sad and worried.

One thing is true: I am looking forward to starting school. I need some certainty in my life. We start after Labor Day. I have one week to get the school room cleaned. I've been working on that all summer. lol

I wish I could say Thomas was looking forward to school. He's not. I'll be completely honest here: He never looks forward to school. It's just something he has to do. I do envy reading about kids who are excited to start. My reality is 180 degrees different. And that's okay. He's still learning.

I've got a room that needs a cleanin' calling my name.

Cowboy

To a very special cowboy.

My heart aches for you. My heart aches for your wife. My heart aches for all your very large family. My heart aches for my husband, my son and me.

We're going to be losing our cowboy sometime soon. The doctors say anywhere from two to eight months. Four words: two to eight months. Four very powerful words.

We've been out of town the past few days. We got "the" phone call last Wednesday night that B's dad was not well and was going to the doctor and for a CAT scan on Friday. Thursday we drove half way, slept, got up and stopped at Wall Drug for an hour of fun for Thomas. On the road again, we walked in B's mom's house. Cowboy and wife weren't home yet from the doctor appointment. No sooner had we walked in than the phone started ringing. It was Mrs. Cowboy, B's mom. She said that the small hospital was sending him immediately to a larger hospital via ambulance right now. She was coming home first to eat a sandwich and pack a bag, and would B please drive her over to the other hospital. I didn't want to interfere or intrude, plus I did want to shelter my son from an emegerncy room visit when things were seeming very dismal. I stayed home and went to the grocery store and bought tons of sandwich meat, bread, bananas, butter, chips and pop for B's siblings and their families as requested by Mrs. Cowboy.

Later Mrs. Cowboy and B returned looking exhausted, worried and upset. It seems the Cowboy had a bleeding brain and what appeared to be a brain tumor.

The next day everyone drove to the big hospital. That day we also learned there was a tumor in his lung as well. Then we faced the weekend where hospitals aren't very busy, tests aren't run, and things are at a snapping turtle's pace. Monday morning comes in with the hope of action, more tests and answers.

The tests and answers came today as my family was back on the road to Minnesota. We couldnt stay any longer. Tonight B received the sad news of two to eight months.

When I was alone with Thomas, I was gently honest about what was to transpire. No one in the family to this point has even mentioned the word cancer. It's beyond their grasp at the moment. Since I'm a little removed, I can say it -- with respect and sadness. Thomas and I had a long discussion about what would transpire. I knew with a brain tumor and a tumor in the lung that things were not good. The cowboy is 81 years old. I knew, I felt it. I talked. After Thomas cried and cried, I said maybe I shoudn't have told you. His eyes got huge and he said you HAVE to be honest to me, it wouldn't be fair.

The Cowboy is having moments where he's with us and then when he's not. It's sad to watch, but heartwarming when he's his old self. The day Thomas and I visited him, he was having a very bad off day. We walked in the room and he smiled and said, "Hi, Thomas!" Thomas gave him a great big hug. As a mother, I was so touched because I saw the love oozing out of Thomas in his face. Grandpa Cowboy asked him if he'd like to go get some biscuits and gravy -- a pasttime that the two boys, and B, have enjoyed in the past. Cowboy turned to me and smiled a great big grin. He then said, "You changed the color of your hair." I had to laugh! Out of all the relatives, he was the only one who noticed I had gone from golden brown to a very dark brown hair color. It made me smile and warmed me to know that he noticed that.

In the scheme of things, Cowboy has lived a long and good life. We knew this was coming as he wasn't well the past few months. But until it really hits, you don't feel it.

We're feeling the pain now.

B took Thomas and I to dinner last night to get out of the house and to be alone. We sat at a Pizza Hut and both B and I burst into tears. There we sat in a crowded restaurant, lost in our own worlds crying. I was touched because my sometimes aloof husband grabbed for my hands and said some beautiful words to me. He said this is making me appreciate those I love even more. And then the tears all started up again.

The big strong cowboy is falling and we can't catch him. Death is a part of life. But none of us are ready for the Cowboy to go. I hope (and pray) that he is not in a lot of pain. I hope that he can have a death with dignity. I wish this weren't happening.

One of my happiest memories of my Cowboy was in the late 80s, before we were married. Cowboy had invited us to his sister's house as they were branding. I soon learned branding was a very social event. While I was too timid to help catch calves, I climbed up the fence for a good view and watched the day. I grimmaced when the babies were branded because darn that had to hurt. I watched Cowboy on his horse. I knew I was watching the real thing -- the real cowboy. He helped teach young kids how to catch the calves. He taught an older cousin how to brand. He taught a niece, in medical school, how to give injections.

He wore his cowboy hat and boots with pride. I knew I was watching something special. It was a day I have never forgotten, nor have I forgotten the image of him up on his horse.

I've never seen Cowboy without his cowboy hat or boots. He always wears western wear. He knows his job, he knows his animals. He saved us from a rattle snake last summer.

Cowboy is a man of few words. He has a grin, though, with a devilish sense of humor that I have always appreciated. Cowboy and I also shared something together that no other family member could be involved on. He sat on a month-long trial as a juror in a case that I was the court reporter. I couldn't go to his house during that trial, and my judge forbade me from sending a birthday cake into the jury room on his birthday. But we had that trial we shared together. And when it was all through, we enjoyed discussing it together.

I feel so empty. I wasn't very close to the cowboy, but I liked him, he made me feel welcome into a family that I didn't always feel very welcome. He was a good man, warts and all.

Ah, cowboy, my heart is aching for you.

And so it goes

We've been trying to enjoy the last bits of summer here. The pool closes this week and we'll hit it two more times. The county fair starts today and we're going tonight. We didn't finish many of our projects for the fair and so Thomas only entered two things. Thomas designed and made a newspaper box for me. He also entered a buzzer he made in scouts. When we were at the fair yesterday entering his projects, I felt so bad that I didn't push harder to get things done.

We all vowed to enter something next year. I know I said that last year, but I really mean it. My husband is going to paint a picture. Thomas has the list of things that he was going to make for this year, and I'll have to think of something for me to enter.

We will also check out 4H. Actually, I told my husband that *he* gets that honor. I do too much with scouts, homeschool, play dates, field trips, etc. It's DH's time to take something on. To my surprise I found out that DH was in 4H when he was a kid! You learn something new every day.

All three of us are enjoying the six new hermit crabs we bought a couple weeks ago. I need to post pictures because in an ugly sort of way they are cute. I still can't hold one. I've lasted for about two seconds. I can pick them up by their shells, but they're just too creepy looking and I don't want them climbing on my hand. They are a lot of fun to watch. Many times I'll get up in the middle of the night (insomnia!) and turn the black light on and watch them. They are very active then.

Last night Thomas and I were picking up and organizing the school room. He came across his logic book, looked at the first page and freaked. What is a hertzog? I don't get it! Mom, you can't make me do this. Oh, the horror. So just for fun, I grabbed a pencil, told him to breathe and let's figure it out. I told him that when the book came I had to call dad in to help me figure out the first page. I was freaking myself because I didn't get it. Well, once he calmed down and got some oxygen in his system, I slowly read the directions and then said let's attack this head on. He looked at the page, then looked up at me and screeched: I GET IT! And he did. And then he proceeded to work the first 15 pages of our logic book within about five minutes. He wanted more, but I told him to stop because we needed to save some for school. I have a feeling I'll be buying more logic books this year. And that's okay! =)

Look! Our fantastic science experiment...

NOT.

Warning: This post shows the author has no class, no decency and extremely questionable housekeeping skills.

Further proof that I am not a domestic goddess. Went on a major grocery shopping spree and had to do a quick clean of the fridge to get it all in. This nice little item was up on its side in the far right back behind two cases of pop. Who knows how long it was there.

We all got a glimpse and said, "Cool" in unison. lol

Now if you *really* knew me, you'd know I wouldn't be showing my faulty housekeeping abilities online with photos. But I have to disprove the theory that I am a dosmestic goddess. Will this one get me off the hook?

I will admit that this was the worst thing I have ever found in my fridge in my life. But as I said, it was also cool. We all looked at it for a good five minutes. And it didn't really stink, either.

I'm ticked!

I decided to go blog hopping this afternoon. All my favorites at homeschooljournal.net (and homeschooljournal.net itself) have been hacked. I think that whoever is responsible for this ought to be stripped naked, hung by their toes in a public forum and beaten.

DeFacED By eMP3R0r Hacking Team

Sorry, but I love memes...

here's another one that I found at those weird homeschoolers.

1. Have you ever been searched by the cops? Never.
2. What color are your eyes? Blue
3. When was the last time you went sledding? Last winter.
4. Would you rather sleep with someone else, or alone? Sorry, honey, but alone.
5. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes.
6. Do you consider yourself creative? Kinda/sorta
7. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? Who cares? lol
8. Who was your first crush? 5 years old, his name was Tim. I was in the hospital with a dislocated arm and his mom was my nurse. He was in my K class and when I got back to school, we were suddenly in love.
9. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? Of course.
10. Have you ever been ice skating? Yes, as a child and I tried two years ago. The man behind the counter at the rink laughed his butt of at me. I made one lap and gave him back the skates.


11. How often do you remember your dreams? Daily.
12. When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? The other night when I told Thomas he could not watch a certain show and caught him watching it. He was completely convinced I had said it was okay. It just struck me funny and I got the giggles.
13. Can you name 4 songs by The Beatles? Of course, and I can sing them too, but no one would want to listen as I can't sing.
14. What's the one thing always on your mind? Thomas
15. What talent do you wish you had? no clue
16. Do you know anyone in jail? Well, kind of. I was a court reporter for 11 years so I met people that were incarcerated on a daily basis. A few names and faces popped into mind that I know are serving life sentences. That's the extent of it, though.
17. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? I don't know.
18. Have you ever been punched in the face? Nope.
19. Do you own any stuffed animals? I couldn't part with my stuffed panda that DH gave to me. He had tied a ruby ring to its bow as a gift. I gave it to Thomas.
20. Do you have a major crush on someone? Not at the moment. I do get taken with stars occasionally, though.


21. Do you miss someone right now? Well, to see in person, I suppose -- but thank goodness for the telephone.
22. What are you listening to right now? The beautiful hum of the air conditioner.
23. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Hmm, Princess Diana made me sad, John Denver made me sad, but I don't think I cried. I cry for noncelebs, though, even if I don't know them -- sad stories tug at my heart.
24. What color underwear/boxers are you wearing? White.
25. Where do you work? At home.
26. What ended your last relationship? ???
27. What food do you crave right now? Nothing at the moment, just had left over spaghetti.
28. What was the last TV show you watched? Last night I watched Sex and the City.
29. What is the last thing you ate? Spaghetti.
30. Are you on any medication? Yes.


31. What side of the bed do you sleep on? That depends -- as you're looking at it or as you're in it? When I'm in bed, I'm on the right side.
32. What color shirt are you wearing? A gray t-shirt.
33. What is your favorite frozen treat? Ice cream shakes made by Thomas. That's his specality.
34. How many tattoos/piercing do you have? Ears are pierced, never wear earrings though.
35. Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? Again? No. If my husband were to leave, by whatever means, I'm done.
36. Have you ever done something to instigate trouble? Of course.
37. Do you like your nose? Don't care? It works, so I'm happy.
38. What color is your bedroom? Purple and white.
39. Where do you live? Minnesota
40. Are you an aggressive driver? Absolutely not.
41. What color is your car? Which one? (We're a used car lot.) My favorite is the old van and it's gray.
42. What do you smell like right now? Coffee and stale smoke, probably.
43. What is your favorite color? Anything pastel.
44. What character from a movie/TV most reminds you of yourself? Yikes, I'd have to think about this for awhile. No character comes to mind -- I'm too unique. lol
45. Do you enjoy giving hugs? Only to DH and Thomas. I am so not a touchy-feely person.
46. Do you own a digital camera? Yes.
47. What books, if any, have made you cry? Tons, I cry easily.
48. Are you a jealous person? Sometimes.
49. delted, this is a g-rated blog.
50. What shoes are you wearing right now? Shoes? In the house? In the summer? None.


51. What is your major weakness? Nicotine. Food.
52. Do you suffer motion sickness? Yes.
53. What's the best pizza? Pizza Hut Pan, cheese lovers.
54. Longest relationship? 16 3/4 year marriage, been together 19 years.
55. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? Not anymore.
57. Have you ever given or been given an engagement ring? Twice.
58. What was the last gift someone gave you? Beautiful flowers in June.
59. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My husband.
60. Can you cook? Yes, I can, but I don't enjoy it.


61. What is your favorite jelly/jam? Grape.
62. Can you swim? Yes and I love to.
63. What is your first memory? Being put to bed in our travel trailer when it was still light out. I screamed and cried and was ticked off because everyone was outside having fun but me.
64. What item would you like to have buried with you? Nothing but clothes to cover me.
65. What are three things you're dying to have right now that would make everything just about perfect? Better health, more love, money.

Domestic Goddess???

Does this look like the kitchen of a domestic goddess? The sink contains yesterday's lunch, supper and snack dishes, plus today's breakfast and lunch dishes. I could have had this *done* in the time it took me to snap the photo, upload it and blog about it, but I couldn't have anyone thinking I'm actually a domestic goddess. I'm only a wannabee.

Why is it?

Why is it that when I lie down in bed at night I can think of a million things to blog about, yet when I sit down at the computer, my mind goes blank?

Friday afternoon was fantastic. Thomas and I went to the pool, there were only about 15 kids there -- at the most. We couldn't have asked for a more wonderful time! The water temp was perfect, the weather was perfect. We swam for four hours. I had taken enough money to hit Wendy's on the way home, and I was so glad I had. We were exhausted -- Thomas even fell asleep in the car on the way home! We devoured our sandwiches and passed out.

Saturday I spent cleaning my kitchen. It was in dire need of attention. I got everything done but the floors scrubbed and the walls washed. I hoped to do that today but instead put my attention on laundry and the school room.

I bought a few workbooks this year for Thomas. He's a leftie and hates writing in workbooks, so I spent a good hour cutting them up. Only one had perforated pages that I could tear out. It was so tedious that I did something I shouldn't have. I got out my rolling blade for quilting (can't think of the correct name). It had a brand new blade and I didn't have an old blade. I used that on the workbooks. It worked great, but was expensive. Those blades aren't cheap.

Tonight I played at the computer typing up our daily schedule. I couldn't make a 4-day school week happen, but I did get in a 4 1/2 day week. On paper at least. We'll see how it goes, but I would love to have free Friday afternoons.

I also tried to burn CDs for the next Hakim volume from audible. Well, I don't know what I did, but I'm going to have to call them again. I ruined two disks and it kept telling me that something was too fast. ??? I am so hopeless.

My friend Jo posted a great entry on lists. That made me laugh because my life is ruled by lists. I thought of her today, though, and didn't make a list for the day. I needed to see if I could get through the day without -- and I can proudly say that I did! However, rest assured, tomorrow I'll be doing lists again.

Saturday night we rented a bunch of movies. I rented The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio yet again. I don't dare share how many times I've watched that movie, but it's a lot. I usually move the DVD player to the kitchen and play it while I'm doing something constructive. Last night I had homeschool stuff scattered across my bed and watched and worked. I'm at the point that I can officially say that I am obsessed with this movie. I grew up with a very negative mom and in this movie the mom is so positive. I think my brain is just craving that positive energy. Even though I'm not my mom and have worked very hard at being positive, Evelyn Ryan, played by Julianne Moore, still teaches me a thing or two.

I'm weird, I admit it.

I told my sister she needed to rent this movie. We don't always have the same tastes in movies so I was very worried whether she would like it or not. She said her entire family watched it and they all loved it -- even her husband. Sis even surprised me by saying that this was now her all-time favorite movie.

Well, I guess I'm not alone in my love for the movie, but I probably am with my obsession! lol

I think it's time for bed.

withdrawn from life

I had a conversation the other night with someone I'm very close to -- related by blood. She informed me that I had withdrawn from life. She stated it in this context: You know what your problem is? Actually, it's our problem. You have withdrawn from life.

Huh???

When I questioned her on this she snapped at me: "When is the last time you contacted 'Jane Doe'?" who was a high school friend. I told her that high school was 23 years ago and that I had no interest or desire to contact Jane Doe because our interests had changed, she chose a professional life (she's a physics professor) and has no children. We both grew and our common bond (high school) was no longer there.

"Yes, but." My relative said this. Yes, but. So I waited. She stated that I am a hermit. I hide in my house. I don't go out, I don't have friends and I don't do anything.

Excuse me???

She stated that I don't like people and I have admitted it. Well, that's partly true. I don't like some people and I did state that.

So according to the blood relative, the definition of a hermit who has withdrawn from life is:

A mom, who is an introvert, who likes to stay at home.
A very active volunteer in Cub Scouts.
A mom who homeschools her child.
A mom who hates carting her child around and taking him to classes, but does so anyway.
A mom who initiates play dates.
A mom who meets friends in the park for play.
A mom who goes to others' houses so kids can play and moms can gab.
A mom who takes her child to the beach, parades, community events, walks, zoos, swimming, etc.
A homeschooling mom who joins the local homeschool group and does one activity. (Okay, she may have a point on this one.)
A mom who keeps in contact with local people that I have no common interests with and don't share the same beliefs because said mom is open to having her child exposed to all different types of people.
A mom who endures four weeks of sitting on the benches watching swimming lessons.
A mom who is constantly on the go.

A woman who chooses her friends wisely. I'd rather have a few friends that are close than many acquaintances, although I do have many acquaintances.
A woman who has a best friend that is so special and vital to my life -- one that I have phone contact with (at least two hours at a shot) once a week, plus emails. (Said friend lives three hours from me.)
A woman who has made good internet friends. Friends that I have stayed in weekly contact with for six-seven years.
A woman who is fortunate enough to have the best online homeschool support group imaginable -- 10 fantastic women, 11 including myself) that I can share almost anything with. These women are so great that I have met five of them in my travels.
A woman who is in tune with herself and knows that she is an introvert and needs to recharge at home.
A woman not afraid to make choices to benefit her needs.
A woman who follows her interests. While I don't have the time to jump into things that I would if I didn't have a child, I still have my hobbies.

Oh, shoot, I could go on and on.

The conversation then took the turn of past friends. For some reason she thought I didn't stay in contact with anyone in the past. Not true. I keep in contact with good friends from the past. Not daily, not weekly, but a few times a year.

I was a little defensive with this person. I was also floored with the "withdrawn from life" statement. Nothing could be further from the truth. It's like homeschooling, you teach to your child's strengths and weaknesses, you figure out his learning style and go with it. Well, I've figured out my life style and I make no excuses for the way I live. I go with what works for me.

After about two minutes of reflection on this conversation after it ended, I came to the conclusion that said relative was projecting her own issues on to me. It's so much easier to find fault with others than to be open and honest regarding self. Although sometimes a fresh perspective from a friend is of value, I don't think that's the case here.

Sure, I have issues...I'm fat, I would rather stay at home than be in a large crowd. I would love to have a close friend who lived in my town. I get down every once in awhile. I get frustrated with my husband. But all of those things ARE life. If I would have withdrawn from life, none of those things would ever bother me. I'd be too busy being numb.

So rest assured sweetie, I have not withdrawn from life. And neither have you. If you had, you wouldn't be thinking.

Kittens for boys!

Today the "old man" called from work and announced he was taking the rest of the day off and we were heading off to civilization. (Nearest town with some actual stores.) It was the day to buy DS's hermit crabs. That's another post for another day.

We hit Office Max, then I dropped the old man off at Barnes and Noble while Thomas and I hit Hobby Lobby. Trust me, that's a good thing because when the old man isn't around at Hobby Lobby, I have more fun.

We spent an hour at HL and then went back to B&N. We were starving and waiting for old man to finish up and I walked around the bookstore. I came to a table where there were calendars, planners, assignment books, etc., for back to school. There was a mom with two boys, the older appeared to be about Thomas's age.

I watched him grab the perfect planner. "Mom, mom, this is the one I want!" He was so excited. The mom took one look at it and sighed. "Honey," she said, "This kitten is really cute, but I worry the kids at school will tease you over it. Then you won't use it. Then we'll have wasted money yet again. Pick out a different one."

This made me SO sad. Why can't a young man pick a planner out with a cute kitten on the cover? Are boys exempt from enjoying the little critters? Truth be told, I actually completely understood what the mom was saying. She was trying to prevent hurt feelings because she knew the little imps at public school would shred him to pieces over his "girlish" planner.

I was thinking I should go tell her about the joys of homeschooling. Nah, she didn't look the type. I also thought about going up and saying how sad the whole situation was, that he should get the kitten planner if he wanted. I didn't think she'd appreciate that.

Thomas saw the whole thing, too. When we walked out of listening distance he said, "I'm so glad we homeschool, mom, and that you let me buy the cute planner with the puppy and kitten on it."

Yes, boys can like kittens. They can have kitten planners. Thomas won't be teased for his choice. I love the freedom from "socialization" we have homeschooling.

Monday evening

It's been hot again lately. Currently, at 9:25 pm, it is 84 but with humidity, the heat index is 91. Ugh. I'm so happy to report that the latest air conditioner repairman actually fixed the air conditioner. I could just kiss him -- nah, never mind, but I am very thankful.

Thomas is still working hard at swimming lessons. He has grown and improved but he still needs work with his coordination and endurance. He's having a blast, and that's what counts. We'll be done Friday, and I'm very thankful. This second set of swimming lessons has been wonderful for me! I'm the only mom that stays to watch. There are only seven kids in lessons, so two classes. Thomas has 4 in his class. I've been reading, planning school, watching, and zoning during lessons.

I worked on the classroom a little today. It turned into the dump-all room this summer. I'm trying to dig out. Ugh. Of course it doesn't help that I bought a desk and a small table at an elementary school garage sale to add to the mess. Oh, and two hermit crab cages and three -- yes, three 10-gallon aquariums. I'm giving one away, but will keep two. I guess this will be the year for critters. How can I say no for something that costs $1?

I also made the sad realization that we have only one thing completed for our upcoming county fair. Thomas has 14 days to get creating. This is all my fault and I feel really bad about it. Darn it all, I'll blame it on the hot house, the air condtioner not working most the summer, and the fact I went into a weird zone because of it.

I also made the realization we have not done many fun summer things. Why? Because I've been stuck home waiting for air conditioner repairmen -- yeah, the ones that said they'd be there that day and then didn't show. On my kitchen table I have $260 worth of AC bills -- the latest go round, to three different companies. We still need a new evaporator installed and that's going to cost $325. And I've already paid $150 in June for repair. And this is all for a two-year-old air conditioner. UGH. May I count the $100 hotel bill? I think I should because I would have gone insane had I not had *one* night of cool. That's a lot of money to try to stay cool.

It's time for a mad dash to do some fun things. We'll try to enter three-five things for the county fair, I want to take Thomas swimming and to the beach a few times, plus make a voyage to civilization and buy his hermit crabs. Also on the agenda, if he finishes On the Banks of Plum Creek, is a trip to Walnut Grove, Minnesota. That's a lot to do in little time. Oh yeah, I have to finalize our school. Ugh.

Where did the summer go? I know technically it's still July, but it just seems I blink and a week, month or even a year is gone.

But...at least it's cool, 74 degrees in my house. Ah.

This is scary!

I don't drink, honest! Must have been the messy hair that gave me a Barney ID. Thomas, his dad and I have been laughing like crazy over this tonight! You Are Barney

You could have been an intellectual leader... Instead, your whole life is an homage to beer You will be remembered for: your beautiful singing voice and your burps Your life philosophy: "There's nothing like beer to give you that inflated sense of self-esteem."

The Simpsons Personality Test

Great things this week

In hopes of turning my half-empty attitude into a half-full attitude, I've decided to blog about great things from my week.

1) The air conditioner is fixed! Woo hoo, just in time for upper 90s.

2) I was able to turn the oven on and bake something this week.

3) A charity from the Twin Cities had a curbside pickup, so we donated five big black garbage bags of clothes and stuff. Grateful because we have to make an appointment with our one and only local charity, Salvation Army, to drop stuff off and they turn down off-season clothing. Curbside donating is fantastic, and it's a great charity. (Epilepsy Foundation)

4) I was very glad to have signed Thomas up for another go of swimming lessons. He could have officially passed the last round, but the teacher I and both felt he needed more practice to develop endurance. He's enjoying himself, he's getting better and he's having fun. I'm having a blast this time as I am the *only* mom watching!

5) I am grateful for happy snuggles in the morning. I love waking Thomas up by rubbing his back. His first reaction is always a great-big smile. I'm thankful that he doesn't feel too old for this. There's always lots of love, smiles, hugs and giggles in the morning.

6) Got my Rod and Staff English order placed, plus started downloading the Hakim series. I just have to order some science supplies, clean up the schoolroom, and we're ready to rock 'n roll.

7) This one is funny. I'm glad Thomas beat me at air hocky. We have a fantastic air hocky table in our dungeon -- uhm, I mean basement. We play every once in awhile but I always beat Thomas. For the first time ever, he beat me fair and square. Corny, but it made me happy -- he's growing up, gaining skill, getting good.