It's midnight, I should be in bed. Instead, I sit at the computer, waiting for the dryer to finish its cycle, and I can swap loads.
I went to the doctor Tuesday morning. My doctor was unavailable, so I saw someone new. He was very nice, thrilled that I was using a neti pot and told me he asks all his patients to use one. He said the problem with my ears is the sinus infection. My pneumonia has cleared completely.
The day before, I had finished taking a Z-pak. Five pills, but the meds stay in your system 10 days. The new doc prescribed levaquin, a very expensive antibiotic. ($140 for the bottle.) He also gave me a narcotic pain pill -- I forget what it is now.
I went to the pharmacy and thank goodness I have a good pharmacist. He told me that I should NEVER take levaquin while I still have a Z-pak in my system because it can result in severe cardiac problems. That scared the you-know-what out of me. Then I got online and did research about levaquin and found that it causes all kinds of problems with tendons. I'm not sure what to do. The pharmacist told me not to take the levaquin until Sunday. I may wait and see if I take it at all.
I didn't think I needed pain pills. I took one yesterday anyway. Let me just say that I described my pain as a constant, extreme pressure. I didn't think it hurt, it was just a royal pain in the a$$. Well, after taking that lovely narcotic, I realize: It DID hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt so good on that pain pill. So good, in fact, I took another today.
The kicker: While I was on the Z-pak for pneumonia and sinusitis and an ear infection in my left ear, I developed an ear infection in my right ear. Go figure. The pressure is finally leaving my left ear, that pressure I've had since June 18 or 18, and has moved to the right. Good grief.
The new doctor gave me 1 refill on the pain meds. He also gave me a refill on the levaquin. I understand that sometimes a sinus infection warrants two rounds of antibiotics. I still don't know if I'll take it, because it has lots of bad side effects.
On another note, I was Googling tonight and came up with a brilliant idea: Summer camp for Thomas. YMCA has some great camps within driving distance from our home. Some still have openings. Thomas got kind of excited at the prospect of being around kids with fun things to do. So tomorrow morning, gulp, I'll be calling some of the facilities to see if I can get him in.
I never did a residential summer camp as a kid. The idea of them never thrilled me. I think it would be a good thing for Thomas, he's old enough, and he needs a break from all the trauma we've dealt with for the past several months. The question is: Can I handle him going away for six days? Time to cut those apron strings a little, knock down my anxiety a bit, and let him fly -- well, on a tether, at his age. lol
I have a million things to do. I've felt so crappy, that I haven't got much done since I got home a week ago. In fact, I finally unpacked my suitcase tonight -- only out of necessity, though. I was about out of clean clothes. Then I sorted laundry. Then I started. Then I cleaned the bathroom. Thank goodness for pain pills. I can now bend over without getting severe pain in my sinuses and ears, which means I have no excuse not to clean.
I have to take my car to the shop tomorrow. I forgot to mention earlier that my car was vandalized while in Colordao. Someone kicked in a door. Lovely. They didn't break in, no further damage, but that door -- and did I mention, I just got my car paid off in April?
I also started planning school this afternoon. Sheesh, I just don't feel like doing that, but I need to get things ordered. I make up my mind, change my mind, make up my mind and change it way too frequently. Sixth grade was a blur. I want 7th grade to be spectacular for Thomas -- and for me, too.
The dryer just buzzed. Time to fold, swap and go to bed.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Midnight
It's midnight, I should be in bed. Instead, I sit at the computer, waiting for the dryer to finish its cycle, and I can swap loads.
I went to the doctor Tuesday morning. My doctor was unavailable, so I saw someone new. He was very nice, thrilled that I was using a neti pot and told me he asks all his patients to use one. He said the problem with my ears is the sinus infection. My pneumonia has cleared completely.
The day before, I had finished taking a Z-pak. Five pills, but the meds stay in your system 10 days. The new doc prescribed levaquin, a very expensive antibiotic. ($140 for the bottle.) He also gave me a narcotic pain pill -- I forget what it is now.
I went to the pharmacy and thank goodness I have a good pharmacist. He told me that I should NEVER take levaquin while I still have a Z-pak in my system because it can result in severe cardiac problems. That scared the you-know-what out of me. Then I got online and did research about levaquin and found that it causes all kinds of problems with tendons. I'm not sure what to do. The pharmacist told me not to take the levaquin until Sunday. I may wait and see if I take it at all.
I didn't think I needed pain pills. I took one yesterday anyway. Let me just say that I described my pain as a constant, extreme pressure. I didn't think it hurt, it was just a royal pain in the a$$. Well, after taking that lovely narcotic, I realize: It DID hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt so good on that pain pill. So good, in fact, I took another today.
The kicker: While I was on the Z-pak for pneumonia and sinusitis and an ear infection in my left ear, I developed an ear infection in my right ear. Go figure. The pressure is finally leaving my left ear, that pressure I've had since June 18 or 18, and has moved to the right. Good grief.
The new doctor gave me 1 refill on the pain meds. He also gave me a refill on the levaquin. I understand that sometimes a sinus infection warrants two rounds of antibiotics. I still don't know if I'll take it, because it has lots of bad side effects.
On another note, I was Googling tonight and came up with a brilliant idea: Summer camp for Thomas. YMCA has some great camps within driving distance from our home. Some still have openings. Thomas got kind of excited at the prospect of being around kids with fun things to do. So tomorrow morning, gulp, I'll be calling some of the facilities to see if I can get him in.
I never did a residential summer camp as a kid. The idea of them never thrilled me. I think it would be a good thing for Thomas, he's old enough, and he needs a break from all the trauma we've dealt with for the past several months. The question is: Can I handle him going away for six days? Time to cut those apron strings a little, knock down my anxiety a bit, and let him fly -- well, on a tether, at his age. lol
I have a million things to do. I've felt so crappy, that I haven't got much done since I got home a week ago. In fact, I finally unpacked my suitcase tonight -- only out of necessity, though. I was about out of clean clothes. Then I sorted laundry. Then I started. Then I cleaned the bathroom. Thank goodness for pain pills. I can now bend over without getting severe pain in my sinuses and ears, which means I have no excuse not to clean.
I have to take my car to the shop tomorrow. I forgot to mention earlier that my car was vandalized while in Colordao. Someone kicked in a door. Lovely. They didn't break in, no further damage, but that door -- and did I mention, I just got my car paid off in April?
I also started planning school this afternoon. Sheesh, I just don't feel like doing that, but I need to get things ordered. I make up my mind, change my mind, make up my mind and change it way too frequently. Sixth grade was a blur. I want 7th grade to be spectacular for Thomas -- and for me, too.
The dryer just buzzed. Time to fold, swap and go to bed.
I went to the doctor Tuesday morning. My doctor was unavailable, so I saw someone new. He was very nice, thrilled that I was using a neti pot and told me he asks all his patients to use one. He said the problem with my ears is the sinus infection. My pneumonia has cleared completely.
The day before, I had finished taking a Z-pak. Five pills, but the meds stay in your system 10 days. The new doc prescribed levaquin, a very expensive antibiotic. ($140 for the bottle.) He also gave me a narcotic pain pill -- I forget what it is now.
I went to the pharmacy and thank goodness I have a good pharmacist. He told me that I should NEVER take levaquin while I still have a Z-pak in my system because it can result in severe cardiac problems. That scared the you-know-what out of me. Then I got online and did research about levaquin and found that it causes all kinds of problems with tendons. I'm not sure what to do. The pharmacist told me not to take the levaquin until Sunday. I may wait and see if I take it at all.
I didn't think I needed pain pills. I took one yesterday anyway. Let me just say that I described my pain as a constant, extreme pressure. I didn't think it hurt, it was just a royal pain in the a$$. Well, after taking that lovely narcotic, I realize: It DID hurt. It hurt a lot. I felt so good on that pain pill. So good, in fact, I took another today.
The kicker: While I was on the Z-pak for pneumonia and sinusitis and an ear infection in my left ear, I developed an ear infection in my right ear. Go figure. The pressure is finally leaving my left ear, that pressure I've had since June 18 or 18, and has moved to the right. Good grief.
The new doctor gave me 1 refill on the pain meds. He also gave me a refill on the levaquin. I understand that sometimes a sinus infection warrants two rounds of antibiotics. I still don't know if I'll take it, because it has lots of bad side effects.
On another note, I was Googling tonight and came up with a brilliant idea: Summer camp for Thomas. YMCA has some great camps within driving distance from our home. Some still have openings. Thomas got kind of excited at the prospect of being around kids with fun things to do. So tomorrow morning, gulp, I'll be calling some of the facilities to see if I can get him in.
I never did a residential summer camp as a kid. The idea of them never thrilled me. I think it would be a good thing for Thomas, he's old enough, and he needs a break from all the trauma we've dealt with for the past several months. The question is: Can I handle him going away for six days? Time to cut those apron strings a little, knock down my anxiety a bit, and let him fly -- well, on a tether, at his age. lol
I have a million things to do. I've felt so crappy, that I haven't got much done since I got home a week ago. In fact, I finally unpacked my suitcase tonight -- only out of necessity, though. I was about out of clean clothes. Then I sorted laundry. Then I started. Then I cleaned the bathroom. Thank goodness for pain pills. I can now bend over without getting severe pain in my sinuses and ears, which means I have no excuse not to clean.
I have to take my car to the shop tomorrow. I forgot to mention earlier that my car was vandalized while in Colordao. Someone kicked in a door. Lovely. They didn't break in, no further damage, but that door -- and did I mention, I just got my car paid off in April?
I also started planning school this afternoon. Sheesh, I just don't feel like doing that, but I need to get things ordered. I make up my mind, change my mind, make up my mind and change it way too frequently. Sixth grade was a blur. I want 7th grade to be spectacular for Thomas -- and for me, too.
The dryer just buzzed. Time to fold, swap and go to bed.
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Neti Pot
I've gone and done it, I bought myself a Neti Pot.
It is the grossest sensation I have ever experienced. I gag, sputter, and cry out.
But, IT WORKS!
I cannot believe how this helps me breathe. I'm convinced. Thomas and Bob watch and laugh as I use it. If I don't tilt my head just right, the water runs down my throat and I made horrid noises because I cannot stand the sensation. But did I mention, IT WORKS??!!!
My teeny, tiny town sold a product called SinuCleanse. It came with the pot and packets of salt and baking soda. I could make my own, but I needed the pot.
Now, if the pressure in my ear would only go away, I'd be very happy. My left ear has been plugged since about the 19th of June. Two rounds of antibiotics have not touched it. I'm going to have to call my doctor tomorrow.
But at least I can breathe. I'm sold on the weird Neti Pots.
Goodbye, Casa Bonita
While we were in Denver, we managed to go to Casa Bonita twice. Once, my sister and her beautiful daughter took Thomas and I for my birthday. We went a second time the night before we left town.
Goodbye, Casa Bonita -- you hold decades' of memories for me.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
home sweet home
And that it is, sweet.
We are home. Period. End of story. I'm not going anywhere else for a very long time.
I'm exhausted -- we worked 11-12 hour days every day.
I visited a clinic in Denver because I had an ear infection. The first thing I did upon my arrival home was go to our emergency clinic because after 10 days on antibiotics, my ear infection was not better. Lo and behold, I am now being treated for pneumonia. Add that to the ear infection and sinusitis I already had. Never a dull moment.
Tomorrow Thomas plans to play video games all day. That's fine with me. I plan to be in bed all day. Doctor's orders.
More later, after I've rested.
It is so good to be home, to see Bob, the wonder dogs Tesla and Apollo, my precious cats -- but most of all, (sorry Bob) MY bed.
We are home. Period. End of story. I'm not going anywhere else for a very long time.
I'm exhausted -- we worked 11-12 hour days every day.
I visited a clinic in Denver because I had an ear infection. The first thing I did upon my arrival home was go to our emergency clinic because after 10 days on antibiotics, my ear infection was not better. Lo and behold, I am now being treated for pneumonia. Add that to the ear infection and sinusitis I already had. Never a dull moment.
Tomorrow Thomas plans to play video games all day. That's fine with me. I plan to be in bed all day. Doctor's orders.
More later, after I've rested.
It is so good to be home, to see Bob, the wonder dogs Tesla and Apollo, my precious cats -- but most of all, (sorry Bob) MY bed.
Friday, June 13, 2008
One Last Thing Before I Leave...
There was a story in my local newspaper this morning about a wonderful program I wanted to share. Not for kids, but for our vets.
There is an organization called Honor Flight that sends vets to Washington, D.C. for free so they can see their memorials. Right now their priority is WWII vets because we are losing an average of 1,200 WWII vets per day. In five-ten years' time, they will all be gone.
This really touched me and made me tear up. I will be making a donation in my dad's name. If you know any WWII vets or any terminally ill vets, send them the link.
Apparently there are two organizations with similar names, and the one I have linked to is the only one that offers free flights.
There is an organization called Honor Flight that sends vets to Washington, D.C. for free so they can see their memorials. Right now their priority is WWII vets because we are losing an average of 1,200 WWII vets per day. In five-ten years' time, they will all be gone.
This really touched me and made me tear up. I will be making a donation in my dad's name. If you know any WWII vets or any terminally ill vets, send them the link.
Apparently there are two organizations with similar names, and the one I have linked to is the only one that offers free flights.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Bags are Being Packed
I'm finishing laundry, packing my bags, printing estate stuff on my printer and getting ready to head off to Colorado one last time.
We'll be back in July sometime. I won't have computer access at all, so have a great June, everyone.
We'll be back in July sometime. I won't have computer access at all, so have a great June, everyone.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Roller Coaster
Life continues to be a roller coaster -- full of ups and downs.
Today was a good day, I got a lot of cleaning (desperately needed, I might add!) done and several loads of laundry. I even looked at my summer and 7th grade plans and started rethinking next year's choices.
Tonight I talked on the phone with my sister. I told her how sad I am that we'll be at dad's house next week to clean it out. This is so hard for me. I am the only one of four children that lived in that house. We moved there my sophomore year of high school. I first started dating while there, I smooched my sweeties on the patio glider, I snuck cigarettes there, and forgive me for saying this, I had a game of strip poker there when my parents weren't home. (I did not strip, only one guy did -- it was my first year of college, I was crazy.) Oh gosh, I've never admitted that to anyone.
Where I live now is my home, but dad's house is home, too. It's hard to say goodbye. I am fearing I'll be highly emotional. I told my sister tonight that I don't want to clean the counter next to the stove because that's where dad kept his calendar, his appointment cards, and all his very important stuff and I was never allowed to touch it. How on earth can I go in there and move his stuff, throw it away, take some, load some up for siblings, and/or donate it? I have such an attachment.
I've been in bed, but I started crying. That's why I got up -- blogging to take tears away. I guess it's all part of the mourning process.
I miss my dad every single day. Dad was a rock, my rock, my safety net, the man with answers. Now he's gone, his home will be gone, and we'll just have our memories and mementos we take with us.
Right before my mom died she told me that, "Death is a part of life." Don't' fear it. She then keeled over, had a heart attack in front of me, and was in a coma for nearly three days before she passed.
Hey, why am I the one child, out of four, that had to witness both my parents' heart attacks? My sister said it was because I was the one that could handle it. Handle it -- well, I did at the time. After, I broke down. I gained 50 pounds seemingly overnight when mom died. I am not gaining weight with dad's death, but I have that new diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Hey, maybe all the shaking I do when I'm having a panic attack will burn some calories and help me lose that 50 pounds I gained 15 years ago. Wishful thinking.
It's just hard to say goodbye. No more Denver. No more driving I-25, which I hated with a passion. No more Casa Bonita. No more swimming in dad's pool. No more Olive Garden with dad. No more a lot of things.
I have asked Thomas to think of some things he'd like to do because this will probably be the last time for years to come that we'll be in Denver. Casa Bonita was the top of his list. I'd like to go to the Nature and Science Museum again -- I love that place. The Denver Art Museum, the train museum in Golden, our old haunts, silly things like dad's Sam's Club, DAV to buy used clothing on senior citizen day. Dad would pay and get the 50% discount.
Gosh, I am not enjoying this goodbye one bit. I'm kicking and screaming inside. And crying a little, too.
I miss my dad. My mind tells me he's in a better place (yes, I do believe that) and pain free. My mind reminds me he was 81 years old, lived an excellent life. Still, it's hard.
Goodbye Dad, goodbye house, goodbye Denver. Time for a new chapter.
Today was a good day, I got a lot of cleaning (desperately needed, I might add!) done and several loads of laundry. I even looked at my summer and 7th grade plans and started rethinking next year's choices.
Tonight I talked on the phone with my sister. I told her how sad I am that we'll be at dad's house next week to clean it out. This is so hard for me. I am the only one of four children that lived in that house. We moved there my sophomore year of high school. I first started dating while there, I smooched my sweeties on the patio glider, I snuck cigarettes there, and forgive me for saying this, I had a game of strip poker there when my parents weren't home. (I did not strip, only one guy did -- it was my first year of college, I was crazy.) Oh gosh, I've never admitted that to anyone.
Where I live now is my home, but dad's house is home, too. It's hard to say goodbye. I am fearing I'll be highly emotional. I told my sister tonight that I don't want to clean the counter next to the stove because that's where dad kept his calendar, his appointment cards, and all his very important stuff and I was never allowed to touch it. How on earth can I go in there and move his stuff, throw it away, take some, load some up for siblings, and/or donate it? I have such an attachment.
I've been in bed, but I started crying. That's why I got up -- blogging to take tears away. I guess it's all part of the mourning process.
I miss my dad every single day. Dad was a rock, my rock, my safety net, the man with answers. Now he's gone, his home will be gone, and we'll just have our memories and mementos we take with us.
Right before my mom died she told me that, "Death is a part of life." Don't' fear it. She then keeled over, had a heart attack in front of me, and was in a coma for nearly three days before she passed.
Hey, why am I the one child, out of four, that had to witness both my parents' heart attacks? My sister said it was because I was the one that could handle it. Handle it -- well, I did at the time. After, I broke down. I gained 50 pounds seemingly overnight when mom died. I am not gaining weight with dad's death, but I have that new diagnosis of anxiety disorder. Hey, maybe all the shaking I do when I'm having a panic attack will burn some calories and help me lose that 50 pounds I gained 15 years ago. Wishful thinking.
It's just hard to say goodbye. No more Denver. No more driving I-25, which I hated with a passion. No more Casa Bonita. No more swimming in dad's pool. No more Olive Garden with dad. No more a lot of things.
I have asked Thomas to think of some things he'd like to do because this will probably be the last time for years to come that we'll be in Denver. Casa Bonita was the top of his list. I'd like to go to the Nature and Science Museum again -- I love that place. The Denver Art Museum, the train museum in Golden, our old haunts, silly things like dad's Sam's Club, DAV to buy used clothing on senior citizen day. Dad would pay and get the 50% discount.
Gosh, I am not enjoying this goodbye one bit. I'm kicking and screaming inside. And crying a little, too.
I miss my dad. My mind tells me he's in a better place (yes, I do believe that) and pain free. My mind reminds me he was 81 years old, lived an excellent life. Still, it's hard.
Goodbye Dad, goodbye house, goodbye Denver. Time for a new chapter.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Sick Boy
I wanted to take Thomas in to see the doctor yesterday. He insisted he was better and he didn't want to go. He threw up at 1:30 last night, and at 2:30 I was visiting Wal-Mart for some new cold meds. The old ones didn't work.
I insisted he get in to see the doctor this morning. Poor kid had a sinus infection and bronchitis. I told the doctor his grandpa passed away a couple weeks ago and the doctor nodded his head, then explained that his immune system was down from that. He just didn't have what it took to fight off that cold.
So he got a Z-pack (spg?) and hopefully he's on his way to recovery. He told the doctor he was sick of being sick.
I'm not glad that Thomas is sick, but I can honestly say that it has made one thing easier: school. Bob was insistent we start school immediately upon our return from Colorado. I didn't have it in me. Neither did Thomas.
So, I have officially declared June to be a school-free month. We'll be gone half the month, and we just need a break. Hopefully Thomas will enjoy some time off when he isn't sick.
Come July, watch out. We have to finish up some things and our standardized test comes in July. I guess that will work well because July is usually nasty-hot nasty-humidity here, so it's best to be inside then anyway.
And so it goes.
This year school has been tough. Thinking about next year was tough, too. Right now, though, I'm at the point that I'm ready for some normalcy in our life. I want next year to be a fantastic school year. We need that.
I insisted he get in to see the doctor this morning. Poor kid had a sinus infection and bronchitis. I told the doctor his grandpa passed away a couple weeks ago and the doctor nodded his head, then explained that his immune system was down from that. He just didn't have what it took to fight off that cold.
So he got a Z-pack (spg?) and hopefully he's on his way to recovery. He told the doctor he was sick of being sick.
I'm not glad that Thomas is sick, but I can honestly say that it has made one thing easier: school. Bob was insistent we start school immediately upon our return from Colorado. I didn't have it in me. Neither did Thomas.
So, I have officially declared June to be a school-free month. We'll be gone half the month, and we just need a break. Hopefully Thomas will enjoy some time off when he isn't sick.
Come July, watch out. We have to finish up some things and our standardized test comes in July. I guess that will work well because July is usually nasty-hot nasty-humidity here, so it's best to be inside then anyway.
And so it goes.
This year school has been tough. Thinking about next year was tough, too. Right now, though, I'm at the point that I'm ready for some normalcy in our life. I want next year to be a fantastic school year. We need that.
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Humor in my Life
(Warning: Tacky, gross bodily function post ahead.)
Lately there hasn't been a lot of humor in my life. I still feel like I'm walking knee-deep through the water. However, last night Thomas and I got a really good laugh.
Thomas had been sick all day, not feeling well at all. He threw up once in the day and didn't quite make it to the toilet. I had to scrub the bathroom. Yuck. Well, lo and behold, later in the evening, the same thing happened. Got sick, didn't quite make it to the toilet.
I had been talking on the phone and really had to go to the bathroom when he got sick. I had to go before I started cleaning up. I had to step over a pile of it on the floor to get to the toilet. Knowing he missed the toilet by three feet, I didn't think twice about sitting down. Big mistake. I screamed out.
Thomas came in, saw, started laughing. See, he missed the toilet the first time, but made it to the toilet for the second coming. And he was lifting the seat as he was throwing up. It was clear so I didn't see it. And I sat in puke.
Ewwww. Gross. Gag. Sputter. Ewwww. That was one very nasty sensation. After I got over the gross factor, we both laughed and laughed and laughed.
So I had a bathroom and ME to clean up.
It's the small things in life that make us smile. Thomas laughed so hard that he felt much, much better. And that made me feel good. And I had to laugh at myself because I was too stupid -- um, didn't have the intelligence to check the seat first.
Lately there hasn't been a lot of humor in my life. I still feel like I'm walking knee-deep through the water. However, last night Thomas and I got a really good laugh.
Thomas had been sick all day, not feeling well at all. He threw up once in the day and didn't quite make it to the toilet. I had to scrub the bathroom. Yuck. Well, lo and behold, later in the evening, the same thing happened. Got sick, didn't quite make it to the toilet.
I had been talking on the phone and really had to go to the bathroom when he got sick. I had to go before I started cleaning up. I had to step over a pile of it on the floor to get to the toilet. Knowing he missed the toilet by three feet, I didn't think twice about sitting down. Big mistake. I screamed out.
Thomas came in, saw, started laughing. See, he missed the toilet the first time, but made it to the toilet for the second coming. And he was lifting the seat as he was throwing up. It was clear so I didn't see it. And I sat in puke.
Ewwww. Gross. Gag. Sputter. Ewwww. That was one very nasty sensation. After I got over the gross factor, we both laughed and laughed and laughed.
So I had a bathroom and ME to clean up.
It's the small things in life that make us smile. Thomas laughed so hard that he felt much, much better. And that made me feel good. And I had to laugh at myself because I was too stupid -- um, didn't have the intelligence to check the seat first.
Saturday, May 31, 2008
interesting tidbits about my dad
He loved his job -- all his life. What a special gift.
Both of his grandfathers fought in the civil war.
He was friends with James Dean when he was a kid. (Dad was older.) Dad was into motorcycles, as was James Dean. Dad hung out at a place called Carter's Motorcycle Shop and James Dean did, too. Dad bought his first Indian from Carter's. Dean lived just down the road from Carter's. Dad always told us he taught James Dean how to ride. I would imagine it was him, along with others. James Dean also went to high school with my uncle.
Dad loved Indian motorcycles. He had two in his lifetime. He rode from Laramie, Wyoming to Indiana when he was young. In February. On a motorcycle.
Dad and I both shared a passion for family history. Dad took me to countless cemeteries in Indiana and we found our ancestors together. (Well, with my sister, her kids and Thomas came, too.)
Dad was a brilliant carpenter. He built his own house in Wyoming. He built many wonderful treasures. The last big thing he made was a harp for my sister.
Dad had a really great sense of humor. He cracked a good joke the night before he died.
He was a fountain of knowledge. He could answer any question. He gave excellent advice. He was very non-judgmental.
Dad was big-time into unions. He fought for the underdog. He served as a chairman for his local union for quite a few years.
He was a life-long democrat yet registered as a republican. When I asked him why, he said it was because he wanted to get mailings from the republicans so he could keep abreast of what they were up to.
When I was a small child, dad used to use the word dope instead of information. I'd hear him on the phone saying, "Get the dope to me and I'll look it over." I was mortified. As a kid, I knew what dope was, and in that generation it did not mean information.
Dad loved his grandkids. He was a great grandpa. He had a special bond with Thomas because Thomas loved trains.
Dad was a very equal and fair man.
He loved to eat, and he loved vegetables. His last real meal was spinach my sister brought him.
Dad was a marine. He quit school his senior year at 17 and joined up. He proudly served his country. (And may I add, the VA proudly served him in his final days. His death was met with great dignity.)
I could go on and on, but I won't. I am just in the throws of mourning, here, and want to scream to the world how great my dad was. Because he was.
I miss him.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Woe is me
One thing after another, lately. Bob had a medical emergency Monday which required an emergency room visit, 10 stitches and in the future, advanced dental care to the tune of 5000 - 7500 bucks. Hoping insurance covers this.
I was so hoping to get back to normal -- but I forget what that is.
For some reason, my life seems to be riddled with worry. No control over anything. Time to search for a new normal. I'd try it, but I just don't seem to have the energy yet.
We have a date set to go back to Colorado and clean dad's house out. As sad as it is to close down a home, his home, I'm so anxious to get it done and over with -- steps toward that new normalcy.
On the school front, I need to order Thomas's yearly standardized test, a requirement of the state in which we live. We will do math, grammar, writing and reading for the summer. Thomas is not pleased at all, but we simply must.
My house is a mess. My finances are a mess. My life is a mess. Baby steps -- getting school back up and running will a huge step in the right direction. Getting caught up on the bazillion loads of laundry will be another.
In our town, the private schools are done for the year and the public schools finish this week. It hardly seems fair that we'll have to keep going -- especially since we're emotionally drained. That's why I chose to do only the things of most importance.
If I were rich right now I'd:
1) Hire a tutor. Something I've *never* thought of in the past.
2) Hire a cleaning lady.
3) Hire a cook.
4) Hire a gardener.
5) Have a spa treatment.
6) Find a box of Calgon and use it.
Instead, I will luxuriate in the aroma and beauty of the bouquet of flowers my good friends the Georgia Peach and Heath surprised me with yesterday. Thank you so much -- you can't imagine how much that lifted my spirits. It's things like that which remind me of how rich and fortunate I am.
Laundry and math call . . .
I was so hoping to get back to normal -- but I forget what that is.
For some reason, my life seems to be riddled with worry. No control over anything. Time to search for a new normal. I'd try it, but I just don't seem to have the energy yet.
We have a date set to go back to Colorado and clean dad's house out. As sad as it is to close down a home, his home, I'm so anxious to get it done and over with -- steps toward that new normalcy.
On the school front, I need to order Thomas's yearly standardized test, a requirement of the state in which we live. We will do math, grammar, writing and reading for the summer. Thomas is not pleased at all, but we simply must.
My house is a mess. My finances are a mess. My life is a mess. Baby steps -- getting school back up and running will a huge step in the right direction. Getting caught up on the bazillion loads of laundry will be another.
In our town, the private schools are done for the year and the public schools finish this week. It hardly seems fair that we'll have to keep going -- especially since we're emotionally drained. That's why I chose to do only the things of most importance.
If I were rich right now I'd:
1) Hire a tutor. Something I've *never* thought of in the past.
2) Hire a cleaning lady.
3) Hire a cook.
4) Hire a gardener.
5) Have a spa treatment.
6) Find a box of Calgon and use it.
Instead, I will luxuriate in the aroma and beauty of the bouquet of flowers my good friends the Georgia Peach and Heath surprised me with yesterday. Thank you so much -- you can't imagine how much that lifted my spirits. It's things like that which remind me of how rich and fortunate I am.
Laundry and math call . . .
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Goodbye, Dad
Dad passed away May 17.
Thomas and I hopped a plane on a Tuesday -- I think it was the 6th. We bought round-trip tickets planning to return the following Tuesday. We gave up our tickets. (Hotwire is nonrefundable.) We ended up returning just tonight.
This trip cost us a couple thousand dollars that we didn't have, but it was priceless. We got to spend the final weeks with dad.
I had the honor of taking him outside for his last cigar. Dad enjoyed watching Thomas climb a tree on the grounds. We all enjoyed talks while he could, and then later just holding hands.
Dad was moved from the hospital to the VA. We were so impressed with the care he received.
I am numb, exhausted, and sad beyond belief. I am relieved that dad is not suffering any longer, though.
Driving home from the airport tonight, Thomas stated that he felt as if a part of him died. I feel the same way.
My heart aches.
Thomas and I hopped a plane on a Tuesday -- I think it was the 6th. We bought round-trip tickets planning to return the following Tuesday. We gave up our tickets. (Hotwire is nonrefundable.) We ended up returning just tonight.
This trip cost us a couple thousand dollars that we didn't have, but it was priceless. We got to spend the final weeks with dad.
I had the honor of taking him outside for his last cigar. Dad enjoyed watching Thomas climb a tree on the grounds. We all enjoyed talks while he could, and then later just holding hands.
Dad was moved from the hospital to the VA. We were so impressed with the care he received.
I am numb, exhausted, and sad beyond belief. I am relieved that dad is not suffering any longer, though.
Driving home from the airport tonight, Thomas stated that he felt as if a part of him died. I feel the same way.
My heart aches.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
no physical violence
Could I hit this beautiful face? Spank this wonderful child? NO WAY.
Spanking is violence, which is something we try to protect our children from. Just say no to spanking!
Monday, April 21, 2008
That Dog I Hit Last October
Last October, on Thomas's 12th birthday, I hit a dog. It was horrible and I've thought about it a lot since it happened. It doesn't help that we have to drive by the owner's house any time we want to go anywhere.
When I hit the dog, we gave them our phone number and asked them to please call us and let us know how the dog was. They did not give us their name nor number.
They never called. Bob and I assumed the dog died.
Bob and I have also had discussions with Thomas on how dangerous that was, and the fact that they would have been held responsible financially had we got rear ended, which almost happened. So as sad as it was, it was a learning experience.
I never had the heart to go knock on their door to ask them about the dog.
Lo and behold, today we were driving back from my medical appointment and were following a school bus. The bus stopped right in front of their house. I looked, as I've done every time I drive by for any signs of a dog -- and I saw it!
The dog lived. There he was, cute as a button, sporting a fresh haircut, wagging his tail while his girl, who was 5, ran toward him from the school bus. He was on a tie-down.
What a relief. I had feared he died, and it was really good to know that he did not. That was a horrible day.
As Thomas and I drove home, he commented on the fact that their dog lived, but ours died and he was glad they didn't have to experience that pain.
We still miss Jerry and think of him often, but Tesla and Apollo keep us more than busy and are full of love.
When I hit the dog, we gave them our phone number and asked them to please call us and let us know how the dog was. They did not give us their name nor number.
They never called. Bob and I assumed the dog died.
Bob and I have also had discussions with Thomas on how dangerous that was, and the fact that they would have been held responsible financially had we got rear ended, which almost happened. So as sad as it was, it was a learning experience.
I never had the heart to go knock on their door to ask them about the dog.
Lo and behold, today we were driving back from my medical appointment and were following a school bus. The bus stopped right in front of their house. I looked, as I've done every time I drive by for any signs of a dog -- and I saw it!
The dog lived. There he was, cute as a button, sporting a fresh haircut, wagging his tail while his girl, who was 5, ran toward him from the school bus. He was on a tie-down.
What a relief. I had feared he died, and it was really good to know that he did not. That was a horrible day.
As Thomas and I drove home, he commented on the fact that their dog lived, but ours died and he was glad they didn't have to experience that pain.
We still miss Jerry and think of him often, but Tesla and Apollo keep us more than busy and are full of love.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Friday Night
Another week finished.
School: Uneventful this week. We got the bare necessities done and a whole lot of reading.
Mood: Thomas's mood improved greatly over the week. Mine did not.
Other stuff: And there is other stuff. I started this blog to be an online journal of our homeschool lives. I had intended it to be only homeschool related, but the fact is that homeschool and life cross over their lines. Can't have a compartmentalized life with subdivisions -- life is a whole. So I'm going to be blogging about my health issues, too. Skip on by if need be.
Health issues: I went to my doctor today for a follow-up visit from my hospitalization. May I just say, I love my doctor. He's far from perfect, but he listens to me. I provided him with all my hospital reports. He told me I didn't just experience a massive panic attack, I experienced a massive trauma. No wonder I'm still not recovered.
He says I have generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed a new medication for that. Someone asked me today how I felt about that being in my record. I don't care. If you've got it, you've got it. It doesn't make me any less than...it just is. I just want to FEEL better. And from the little research I've done tonight, I think that may just happen. It gives me great hope!
My doctor is tied in with my eye doctor (part of the great Mayo Clinic -- found everywhere in Minnesota) and I told him about the test that my eye doc wants me to have. I took the list of approved neurologists and he picked one out that he really liked. He then stated it would be a good six to eight weeks before I could see him, so why don't we start the ball rolling by getting an MRI and ultrasound of my head and carotid artery. Sure. That will happen Monday.
With my history of lying down and the vision in my left eye blurring, plus the headaches I always have, he thought that would be a great start to have the info for the neurologist.
So I'm really not so scared about any of this any more, I'm relieved that things are getting done and figured out.
I guess the only scary part is hoping insurance covers the majority of this. Thank goodness for insurance.
Tonight I have not cried. That's a first for this week. I'm usually very teary in the evenings. I just didn't feel down tonight, but hopeful instead. Two steps forward!
Homeschool: We're plugging away, and in the back of my mind I'm planning out next year. I cannot believe my baby will be in the 7th grade. Seventh grade is when I started to feel grown up. It will be interesting to watch how he goes through it, because he doesn't have the social pressures of peers. I hope he'll continue to play still. His choices are maturing -- he wants an iPod, loves his cell phone, he's drooling over a motorized scooter, etc. Yet, he still plays.
The plan for next year is as follows: (I'm not done planning, but so far)
World History: Glencoe Human Heritage. When I get it, I'll decide if we'll do this in one or two years.
Civics, another Glencoe text book. We started that this year, but have not finished it. Thomas *loves* it.
Science: Another Glencoe textbook. This time I won an eBay auction with the teacher's guide, tests, workbooks, etc. So we'll have a little more to go on than just the text. We used a Glencoe life science text this year and Thomas would read it for hours if I let him.
English:
Spelling: I think we need to continue on with spelling, so we'll use Sequential Spelling again
Literature: I think we'll use Lightening Literature. I'll need to look it over before deciding what else we do. I hear the writing isn't the best, so if not we'll use...
Writing: Wordsmith
Grammar: I am leaning on using Power Basics English. Again, I need to have it in my hands to see if I've got overkill going on here or not.
Reading: I am putting together a book list for Thomas to read next year. This year I'm going to actually BUY the books so they're on hand. There's nothing worse than hitting the library and finding they don't have the book (like Anne Frank last year) or else if they have it, it's checked out. I'm spoiled in that regard.
Geography: Yet another textbook from Prentice Hall. Got the teacher's guide and tests,etc.
Foreign Language: Spanish. I have everything we need, intended to do it this year, but it was the one thing that always gave way when we didn't have time. That, plus I was painfully slow in learning vocabulary. My greatest wish is that I could find a Spanish class for Thomas to go to -- but I don't think that's going to happen.
Art, Music: Lots of art projects planned, and music appreciation, too. Toying with the idea of starting piano lessons. Thomas doesn't want to, I'm not keen on recitals at all, but I think one year of lessons would be a good thing. Still debating on that.
Computer: Need to get going on this. Thomas needs to revisit his website. I have a book on Excel. We need to explore Word together, too. Those things are just the tip of the iceberg. Need to find time to get that done this year. Plus, we need to revisit keyboarding skills.
Finally, Math, Thomas's most hated subject: We like it. Thomas didn't going back to Rod and Staff. It just worked the best for our family, but he doesn't like any math program. He learned and learned well from Rod and Staff -- and that's what counts.
So that's the plan at the moment. Have to figure out something a little more formal for phy ed. Swimming lessons in the summer are fine, but we need a little more. Thomas doesn't like sports, so that closes many doors. I'll figure out something.
I used to be very anti-textbook. What I have discovered is that textbooks are great. They're organized, plans are laid out so you know how much to do per day and how many days a week you need to do them. And that leaves open LOTS of room for supplementation. I think from here on out, we'll be very text-book oriented.
And that's life on a Friday night.
School: Uneventful this week. We got the bare necessities done and a whole lot of reading.
Mood: Thomas's mood improved greatly over the week. Mine did not.
Other stuff: And there is other stuff. I started this blog to be an online journal of our homeschool lives. I had intended it to be only homeschool related, but the fact is that homeschool and life cross over their lines. Can't have a compartmentalized life with subdivisions -- life is a whole. So I'm going to be blogging about my health issues, too. Skip on by if need be.
Health issues: I went to my doctor today for a follow-up visit from my hospitalization. May I just say, I love my doctor. He's far from perfect, but he listens to me. I provided him with all my hospital reports. He told me I didn't just experience a massive panic attack, I experienced a massive trauma. No wonder I'm still not recovered.
He says I have generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed a new medication for that. Someone asked me today how I felt about that being in my record. I don't care. If you've got it, you've got it. It doesn't make me any less than...it just is. I just want to FEEL better. And from the little research I've done tonight, I think that may just happen. It gives me great hope!
My doctor is tied in with my eye doctor (part of the great Mayo Clinic -- found everywhere in Minnesota) and I told him about the test that my eye doc wants me to have. I took the list of approved neurologists and he picked one out that he really liked. He then stated it would be a good six to eight weeks before I could see him, so why don't we start the ball rolling by getting an MRI and ultrasound of my head and carotid artery. Sure. That will happen Monday.
With my history of lying down and the vision in my left eye blurring, plus the headaches I always have, he thought that would be a great start to have the info for the neurologist.
So I'm really not so scared about any of this any more, I'm relieved that things are getting done and figured out.
I guess the only scary part is hoping insurance covers the majority of this. Thank goodness for insurance.
Tonight I have not cried. That's a first for this week. I'm usually very teary in the evenings. I just didn't feel down tonight, but hopeful instead. Two steps forward!
Homeschool: We're plugging away, and in the back of my mind I'm planning out next year. I cannot believe my baby will be in the 7th grade. Seventh grade is when I started to feel grown up. It will be interesting to watch how he goes through it, because he doesn't have the social pressures of peers. I hope he'll continue to play still. His choices are maturing -- he wants an iPod, loves his cell phone, he's drooling over a motorized scooter, etc. Yet, he still plays.
The plan for next year is as follows: (I'm not done planning, but so far)
World History: Glencoe Human Heritage. When I get it, I'll decide if we'll do this in one or two years.
Civics, another Glencoe text book. We started that this year, but have not finished it. Thomas *loves* it.
Science: Another Glencoe textbook. This time I won an eBay auction with the teacher's guide, tests, workbooks, etc. So we'll have a little more to go on than just the text. We used a Glencoe life science text this year and Thomas would read it for hours if I let him.
English:
Spelling: I think we need to continue on with spelling, so we'll use Sequential Spelling again
Literature: I think we'll use Lightening Literature. I'll need to look it over before deciding what else we do. I hear the writing isn't the best, so if not we'll use...
Writing: Wordsmith
Grammar: I am leaning on using Power Basics English. Again, I need to have it in my hands to see if I've got overkill going on here or not.
Reading: I am putting together a book list for Thomas to read next year. This year I'm going to actually BUY the books so they're on hand. There's nothing worse than hitting the library and finding they don't have the book (like Anne Frank last year) or else if they have it, it's checked out. I'm spoiled in that regard.
Geography: Yet another textbook from Prentice Hall. Got the teacher's guide and tests,etc.
Foreign Language: Spanish. I have everything we need, intended to do it this year, but it was the one thing that always gave way when we didn't have time. That, plus I was painfully slow in learning vocabulary. My greatest wish is that I could find a Spanish class for Thomas to go to -- but I don't think that's going to happen.
Art, Music: Lots of art projects planned, and music appreciation, too. Toying with the idea of starting piano lessons. Thomas doesn't want to, I'm not keen on recitals at all, but I think one year of lessons would be a good thing. Still debating on that.
Computer: Need to get going on this. Thomas needs to revisit his website. I have a book on Excel. We need to explore Word together, too. Those things are just the tip of the iceberg. Need to find time to get that done this year. Plus, we need to revisit keyboarding skills.
Finally, Math, Thomas's most hated subject: We like it. Thomas didn't going back to Rod and Staff. It just worked the best for our family, but he doesn't like any math program. He learned and learned well from Rod and Staff -- and that's what counts.
So that's the plan at the moment. Have to figure out something a little more formal for phy ed. Swimming lessons in the summer are fine, but we need a little more. Thomas doesn't like sports, so that closes many doors. I'll figure out something.
I used to be very anti-textbook. What I have discovered is that textbooks are great. They're organized, plans are laid out so you know how much to do per day and how many days a week you need to do them. And that leaves open LOTS of room for supplementation. I think from here on out, we'll be very text-book oriented.
And that's life on a Friday night.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
One less thing...
Taxes: DONE. Whew. Took me all morning, and then the accountant zipped through them in a half hour. We had the honor of being his last client for the day. He's taking tomorrow off. We're getting a little money back, which will go straight into our special funds account. We're saving for a new roof and furnace. Cha-ching to both items.
School today? GOOD GRIEF! Thomas spent the morning hiding from his frenzied mother. I was looking for receipts, tearing the house apart, acting like a mad woman. Talk about waiting until the last minute. Thomas did tons of reading and science today. He had his art class this afternoon.
I still feel like I'm walking knee-deep in water. One less thing now, though. Now on to other pressing issues. I'm also hoping to get my house back in order sometime soon -- that would make me feel so much better. I did express to Bob tonight how frustrated I am, because everyone leaves everything for me. I've become the maid, and I don't like it one bit. He actually floored me by mentioning he'd been thinking of spring cleaning. HUH? Bob, cleaning? He wants to wash walls, windows and scrub and re-seal the floors. Cool. I hope it comes to fruition! I'm not holding my breath, though. ;-)
School today? GOOD GRIEF! Thomas spent the morning hiding from his frenzied mother. I was looking for receipts, tearing the house apart, acting like a mad woman. Talk about waiting until the last minute. Thomas did tons of reading and science today. He had his art class this afternoon.
I still feel like I'm walking knee-deep in water. One less thing now, though. Now on to other pressing issues. I'm also hoping to get my house back in order sometime soon -- that would make me feel so much better. I did express to Bob tonight how frustrated I am, because everyone leaves everything for me. I've become the maid, and I don't like it one bit. He actually floored me by mentioning he'd been thinking of spring cleaning. HUH? Bob, cleaning? He wants to wash walls, windows and scrub and re-seal the floors. Cool. I hope it comes to fruition! I'm not holding my breath, though. ;-)
Monday, April 14, 2008
Late-night Monday
Just an update.
My dad is doing *really well* !!! Woo-hoo. My sister has started the search for an assisted living facility for dad. He's made huge improvements since I've last seen him. I talked to him on the phone Saturday night and thought: My dad is back, completely! This makes my heart soar! He's got his fight back -- which is what he needs.
Life in Minnesota? Um, well, um ... we're plugging. Both Thomas and I are whiny. Thomas really is letting off steam. School consists of only a few subjects a day, coupled with much moaning and groaning. I am not concentrating well to help smooth matters over. I think time will help.
I feel like I'm walking knee-deep in water. Lots of stuff I have to get done in a short amount of time. Typically, this wouldn't be a big deal, but now it is. I'm working on my taxes tonight -- my appointment is at 4 tomorrow afternoon. Talk about cutting it close!
Bob brought me a list of 15 neurologists in the area that our insurance company said I can use. Now, how do I pick by a name alone? This has me stumped. I guess I can call the eye doc back and ask who he recommends, and then my doctor's office. It certainly would be easier if there were some to choose from in our town.
I haven't read a book yet. I have been using eye drops, though. My eyes feel really good. So good that I was floored, because I didn't know my eyes didn't feel good until they started feeling good. I did sit down and read a chapter of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, which is a book I've been wanting to revisit. Reading the chapter was fine except when I stopped to put eye drops in. No blurriness or fatigue...but it was only a chapter. I need to get through some of this other stuff so I can sit and read a spell.
I have definite and true signs of depression going on right now. That Thursday night I was just sobbing uncontrollably. Bob did take the afternoon off on Friday. We didn't do anything, but his presence did help. I am debating anti-depressants. I've tried them years ago, and they never seemed to help. I worry, though, because this is going to be a long-term situation, and I'm down already, so I don't know what to do. My doctor appointment is on Friday, so we'll figure something out.
On a fun note, Thomas, Bob and I went to Kmart last week for something and Thomas discovered the 90%-off Easter stuff. I had promised him we'd have Easter at home, but I kind of forgot about it. Thomas picked a candy-making kit for $9.99. I said no way. The clerk said, "Oh, buy it, it's only 90 cents." So I did. And we bought three egg dying kits. And we bought an Easter Gingerbread house. The house was only 90 cents, and the kits were 14 cents apiece.
So yesterday Bob prepared our Easter dinner. It was delicious. Today we dyed eggs and made candy and the gingerbread house.
Thomas got his easter after all.
(And for what it's worth, we are Christians, and even though we never attend church, on the real Easter morning, Thomas and I stopped at the hospital's chapel and had a little mini-service of our own.)
So we had a little bit of religion, and mostly secular fun to go with it.
Bob came up with an idea to extend our privacy fence with chain link so the dogs could have a big run. This was my idea, too, and even Thomas's. But when Bob thinks it's his idea, things work better. ;-) So we're waiting for the ground to warm up enough to dig post holes. We do have to get a permit from the city first, but I don't think that will be a problem. The fence will run 20 feet deep and 30? feet -- no, it must be more -- along the side of the house. It will be a great area for them. Now, I've always wanted the whole back yard to have a privacy fence, but I'll gladly compromise with an ugly chain link for our dogs' sakes.
School wise, we're finishing up a book called Mastering Essential Math Skills: 20 Minutes a Day to Success, Book 2: Middle Grades/High School . I bought CLE before we left for Colorado, but we ended up hating it. I'll post a review someday. Next year we're going back to Rod and Staff.
Thomas has almost finished reading his life science textbook. I have three new science textbooks waiting for him for next year.
We're plugging along with writing and reading. And it's time to restart the Civil War. I'd like to spend the rest of our year on that.
So we're not covering all the bases, and I usually have tons of bases that need to be covered, but we're getting back into the swing.
Now if only I could get my house cleaned to my satisfaction. Hasn't happened yet. Haven't' caught up on laundry, either.
BUT...life is good. It's full of ups and downs, that's just the way it is, and you have to enjoy each moment, or take each moment for what it's worth -- that's how you get through it all. Didn't someone once say, That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger? We're stronger now.
Tonight Thomas and I had a discussion, that we've lightly touched on before, but we really talked about it. We saved a life. Our actions saved Grandpa's life. Now I can feel good about that. Before, I had worried that my actions caused him harm -- but I should have known how strong my dad is, and I should have listened when he said he was happy to be alive. It makes me cry. I have my dad back. How lucky am I? Thomas has his Grandpa. How lucky is he. Grandpa has been working very hard, to the point of exhaustion. He's bound and determined to get out of hte skilled nursing facility. And he will. He's a very strong, bull headed, opinionated man -- I'm a chip off that old block.
I told Thomas tonight that he is my hero. What happened was very scary, but he stepped up to the plate. When I needed to get dad to the floor to start CPR, I couldn't because I couldn't move the chair. Thomas did. Thomas got control of the puppies when the paramedics showed up and put them in their crates. Thomas ran and made sure the doors opened so they could get into the house. Thomas was a great help in saving his grandpa's life.
Yes, Thomas is my hero. He endured daily visits to the hospital, consisting of long, exhausting, boring hours. He watched his grandpa, talked to his grandpa, and was very polite. Then he would go find a waiting room where he could wiggle around and be noisey. Then he'd come back. He never once complained. He never once acted out. He was the perfect gentleman.
Yes, Thomas, you ARE a hero.
You have my permission to be whiny right now, because it's all built up from March.
I wish I had some Harry Potter flu powder to go and visit Dad right now. I think he'd tell me to get home, get the house cleaned, my bills paid, school done, etc.
As dad was getting checked out of the hospital and getting ready to move to the western slope of Colorado, he said: Go home, I don't need you anymore. That really hurt my feelings. So the next morning, as I was packing his bag for him, I asked him, "Do you really not need me anymore?" He agreed, he didn't need me. So I smiled, a big smile, and said, "But you want me, though, right? You may not need me, but you want me?" He started laughing. That was the reaction I needed. He wants me. =)
My dad is doing *really well* !!! Woo-hoo. My sister has started the search for an assisted living facility for dad. He's made huge improvements since I've last seen him. I talked to him on the phone Saturday night and thought: My dad is back, completely! This makes my heart soar! He's got his fight back -- which is what he needs.
Life in Minnesota? Um, well, um ... we're plugging. Both Thomas and I are whiny. Thomas really is letting off steam. School consists of only a few subjects a day, coupled with much moaning and groaning. I am not concentrating well to help smooth matters over. I think time will help.
I feel like I'm walking knee-deep in water. Lots of stuff I have to get done in a short amount of time. Typically, this wouldn't be a big deal, but now it is. I'm working on my taxes tonight -- my appointment is at 4 tomorrow afternoon. Talk about cutting it close!
Bob brought me a list of 15 neurologists in the area that our insurance company said I can use. Now, how do I pick by a name alone? This has me stumped. I guess I can call the eye doc back and ask who he recommends, and then my doctor's office. It certainly would be easier if there were some to choose from in our town.
I haven't read a book yet. I have been using eye drops, though. My eyes feel really good. So good that I was floored, because I didn't know my eyes didn't feel good until they started feeling good.
I have definite and true signs of depression going on right now. That Thursday night I was just sobbing uncontrollably. Bob did take the afternoon off on Friday. We didn't do anything, but his presence did help. I am debating anti-depressants. I've tried them years ago, and they never seemed to help. I worry, though, because this is going to be a long-term situation, and I'm down already, so I don't know what to do. My doctor appointment is on Friday, so we'll figure something out.
On a fun note, Thomas, Bob and I went to Kmart last week for something and Thomas discovered the 90%-off Easter stuff. I had promised him we'd have Easter at home, but I kind of forgot about it. Thomas picked a candy-making kit for $9.99. I said no way. The clerk said, "Oh, buy it, it's only 90 cents." So I did. And we bought three egg dying kits. And we bought an Easter Gingerbread house. The house was only 90 cents, and the kits were 14 cents apiece.
So yesterday Bob prepared our Easter dinner. It was delicious. Today we dyed eggs and made candy and the gingerbread house.
Thomas got his easter after all.
(And for what it's worth, we are Christians, and even though we never attend church, on the real Easter morning, Thomas and I stopped at the hospital's chapel and had a little mini-service of our own.)
So we had a little bit of religion, and mostly secular fun to go with it.
Bob came up with an idea to extend our privacy fence with chain link so the dogs could have a big run. This was my idea, too, and even Thomas's. But when Bob thinks it's his idea, things work better. ;-) So we're waiting for the ground to warm up enough to dig post holes. We do have to get a permit from the city first, but I don't think that will be a problem. The fence will run 20 feet deep and 30? feet -- no, it must be more -- along the side of the house. It will be a great area for them. Now, I've always wanted the whole back yard to have a privacy fence, but I'll gladly compromise with an ugly chain link for our dogs' sakes.
School wise, we're finishing up a book called Mastering Essential Math Skills: 20 Minutes a Day to Success, Book 2: Middle Grades/High School . I bought CLE before we left for Colorado, but we ended up hating it. I'll post a review someday. Next year we're going back to Rod and Staff.
Thomas has almost finished reading his life science textbook. I have three new science textbooks waiting for him for next year.
We're plugging along with writing and reading. And it's time to restart the Civil War. I'd like to spend the rest of our year on that.
So we're not covering all the bases, and I usually have tons of bases that need to be covered, but we're getting back into the swing.
Now if only I could get my house cleaned to my satisfaction. Hasn't happened yet. Haven't' caught up on laundry, either.
BUT...life is good. It's full of ups and downs, that's just the way it is, and you have to enjoy each moment, or take each moment for what it's worth -- that's how you get through it all. Didn't someone once say, That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger? We're stronger now.
Tonight Thomas and I had a discussion, that we've lightly touched on before, but we really talked about it. We saved a life. Our actions saved Grandpa's life. Now I can feel good about that. Before, I had worried that my actions caused him harm -- but I should have known how strong my dad is, and I should have listened when he said he was happy to be alive. It makes me cry. I have my dad back. How lucky am I? Thomas has his Grandpa. How lucky is he. Grandpa has been working very hard, to the point of exhaustion. He's bound and determined to get out of hte skilled nursing facility. And he will. He's a very strong, bull headed, opinionated man -- I'm a chip off that old block.
I told Thomas tonight that he is my hero. What happened was very scary, but he stepped up to the plate. When I needed to get dad to the floor to start CPR, I couldn't because I couldn't move the chair. Thomas did. Thomas got control of the puppies when the paramedics showed up and put them in their crates. Thomas ran and made sure the doors opened so they could get into the house. Thomas was a great help in saving his grandpa's life.
Yes, Thomas is my hero. He endured daily visits to the hospital, consisting of long, exhausting, boring hours. He watched his grandpa, talked to his grandpa, and was very polite. Then he would go find a waiting room where he could wiggle around and be noisey. Then he'd come back. He never once complained. He never once acted out. He was the perfect gentleman.
Yes, Thomas, you ARE a hero.
You have my permission to be whiny right now, because it's all built up from March.
I wish I had some Harry Potter flu powder to go and visit Dad right now. I think he'd tell me to get home, get the house cleaned, my bills paid, school done, etc.
As dad was getting checked out of the hospital and getting ready to move to the western slope of Colorado, he said: Go home, I don't need you anymore. That really hurt my feelings. So the next morning, as I was packing his bag for him, I asked him, "Do you really not need me anymore?" He agreed, he didn't need me. So I smiled, a big smile, and said, "But you want me, though, right? You may not need me, but you want me?" He started laughing. That was the reaction I needed. He wants me. =)
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