Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Back to Public School for Thomas

Yep, today we made the decision to send Thomas back to school.

Why? Because he's an only child.

According to toastfloats, that's the way it should be. Parents of onlies have no business homeschooling. I'm referring to her list of 10 reasons why you shouldn't homeschool. Reason 7) You have only one child.
The world already revolves around your child. Take him home and focus your full attention on him all day, every day, until this transient impression becomes a reality. Go ahead.


Here was my response on her blog: I read this post earlier in the day and I just couldn't respond at that point.

I am a mom of an only child. I am so hurt by your number seven. Why do people treat onlies and parents of onlies like this? WHY?

When my child was in public school, I had a teacher comment that parents ought not be allowed to have just one child. That floored me. Frankly, this stings even worse.

I am just so hurt that the homeschooling community -- your comment and the consensus of the group of which you speak -- could say such a mean-spirited thing.

For the record, we tried to have other children, but it was just not meant to be. So yeah, maybe I'm a bit touchy.

So I guess I should send poor Thomas back to school instead of keeping him at home where he has grown, learned and gained confidence that was stripped from him in public school, just because he's an only.

What a load of crap.

Now, I don't ordinarily make such harsh comments on blogs. But damn it all, we homeschoolers need to stick together. Why insult? Why make such false statements? I just don't get it.

My son is well-grounded, shy, loving, kind, and thoughtful. He is who he is and he IS the center of my world and he knows it and frankly, in my humble opinion, that's what good parenting is. Homeschooling has been the best thing EVER for him.


Thanks, Doc, for sharing this.


Heather said...

Holy cow, I thought you were serious for a second there. Whew! I read your blog all the time and would have missed it if you crossed over to the dark side ;). I can't believe that woman. She probably had no idea how offensive her comment would seem to some, but that's no excuse for insensitivity.

Carrie said...

Okay, you owe me for that heart attack. :)
Hmph @ #7. Seems she doesn't quite have the whole "OMG, what about SOCIALIZATION?!?!" issue worked out in her head/heart/common sense yet. Perhaps we should pity her.

Angela, MotherCRone said...

Sending you a cyber pinch for that nasty little joke! OMG, I was ready to hop a plane and talk to you senses! ;)

I know, I heard about this ridiculousness. I have found more families with two or more that drive themselves crazy with the world revolving around the kids wants, so admit the reality that Many kids are the center of their own universe. As a former adult, I take huge offense to that stereotype!

wisteria said...

I'm awake, now, you cruel woman. I'm going to have to put you into the "Must be watched at all times" category with my prankster son.

Kamrin said...

I was in denial and said to myself "self, she has to be kidding" thus extreme relief that I was right. As for that woman, I have one word for her "Wanker!"
I am glad Thomas is at home with you and not socializing with her kids!

SnicketyOne said...

Wow, toastfloats really took a risk making that list! Two or three of those items made me see red, too! For me, the bottom line is that there is NO possible way to make a list of "rules" that applies to all families who are contemplating homeschooling or not homeschooling. If toastfloats had said--now that I've been homeschooling for a little while, I'm going to make a list of things that would make it impossible for MY FAMILY to homeschool, well, that wouldn't have bothered me. But to generalize the way she did? Yeah, that bugs me a lot.
For the record, we homeschooled our daughter when she was an only child, and we homeschooled her when she was not an only child, and now she's in school because that's what works best for her at this time. Next year? Who knows? I'd love to homeschool again, but I'll only do it if it would be best for her and her special needs.
It is difficult for me to see credibility in the comments of people who criticize homeschool or public school in a general way--every family has the right to carefully consider each and to make a choice, and to not be judged for it.
For us, public school is NOT "the dark side."
Hurray that you're doing what's best for Thomas and your family! He is a very, very lucky "only."
Thanks for reading my long comment!

Doc said...

On google reader, all I saw was this:
"Yep, today we made the decision to send Thomas back to school. "

And my first thought was "well, she still has the cat".

ha ha ha ha ha

Elisheva Hannah Levin said...

I saw that Toast Floats post courtesy of Doc, too.

I also replied.

But, wow, did you scare me!

Anyway, I am homeschooling an "only" in the sense that his sister is in college. But I guess that's okay since he has one--a sister, I mean.

Like you, I wanted more kids, but after 5 miscarriages, I decided I ought to be happy with what I have.

And I know plenty of "many's" who are spoiled and self-centered.

I have never thought to make a list of rules, either. Isn't that the point of not putting them in school?

Audrey said...

Saw the headline and just about spit diet Pepsi everywhere. Bad joke! Shame on you!

Of course, you know I've got an only, too. I figure we're lucky to have a child, period. The fact that he's such a great kid is icing on the cake.

Meg_L said...

Can I join the finger shaking at you? Don't do that, it's not April 1 or anything.

Anonymous said...

I'm here today courtesy of Ragamuffin Studies. It's nobody's business whether you have one child or twenty or whether you choose to homeschool them or not. If it makes you feel any better people say stupid things to families of 'many'as well. Keep him home. And if he's the center of your world then good. Would people prefer we neglect our kids? All you're going to teach him is how to be a good parent.

Kaber said...

I saw a couple things on that list that were reasons to not homeschool- yet were things that were true about me/us.

Lucy said...

Wow - not nice. Looking at the list it all seemed a bit of a joke really. I know some wonderful families who are home educating an only child - in some ways it's better as you are not stretched between many people needing your attention (like a teacher between 30?). People sometimes just need to make judgements about home ed, as we call it over here for their own personal agendas (ie: reasons why they can't/won't do it). Hope you can push the comment aside as the rubbish it is :)

nina said...

Whew...I too had a moment of belief.disbelief. I saw a reference to that post on Doc's site. I just assumed it was the authors way of being ironic or joking. I didn't realize she was serious. Good grief indeed. Glad lyou are sticking with homeschooling. :)