Monday, April 14, 2008

Late-night Monday

Just an update.

My dad is doing *really well* !!! Woo-hoo. My sister has started the search for an assisted living facility for dad. He's made huge improvements since I've last seen him. I talked to him on the phone Saturday night and thought: My dad is back, completely! This makes my heart soar! He's got his fight back -- which is what he needs.

Life in Minnesota? Um, well, um ... we're plugging. Both Thomas and I are whiny. Thomas really is letting off steam. School consists of only a few subjects a day, coupled with much moaning and groaning. I am not concentrating well to help smooth matters over. I think time will help.

I feel like I'm walking knee-deep in water. Lots of stuff I have to get done in a short amount of time. Typically, this wouldn't be a big deal, but now it is. I'm working on my taxes tonight -- my appointment is at 4 tomorrow afternoon. Talk about cutting it close!

Bob brought me a list of 15 neurologists in the area that our insurance company said I can use. Now, how do I pick by a name alone? This has me stumped. I guess I can call the eye doc back and ask who he recommends, and then my doctor's office. It certainly would be easier if there were some to choose from in our town.

I haven't read a book yet. I have been using eye drops, though. My eyes feel really good. So good that I was floored, because I didn't know my eyes didn't feel good until they started feeling good. I did sit down and read a chapter of I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, which is a book I've been wanting to revisit. Reading the chapter was fine except when I stopped to put eye drops in. No blurriness or fatigue...but it was only a chapter. I need to get through some of this other stuff so I can sit and read a spell.

I have definite and true signs of depression going on right now. That Thursday night I was just sobbing uncontrollably. Bob did take the afternoon off on Friday. We didn't do anything, but his presence did help. I am debating anti-depressants. I've tried them years ago, and they never seemed to help. I worry, though, because this is going to be a long-term situation, and I'm down already, so I don't know what to do. My doctor appointment is on Friday, so we'll figure something out.

On a fun note, Thomas, Bob and I went to Kmart last week for something and Thomas discovered the 90%-off Easter stuff. I had promised him we'd have Easter at home, but I kind of forgot about it. Thomas picked a candy-making kit for $9.99. I said no way. The clerk said, "Oh, buy it, it's only 90 cents." So I did. And we bought three egg dying kits. And we bought an Easter Gingerbread house. The house was only 90 cents, and the kits were 14 cents apiece.

So yesterday Bob prepared our Easter dinner. It was delicious. Today we dyed eggs and made candy and the gingerbread house.

Thomas got his easter after all.

(And for what it's worth, we are Christians, and even though we never attend church, on the real Easter morning, Thomas and I stopped at the hospital's chapel and had a little mini-service of our own.)

So we had a little bit of religion, and mostly secular fun to go with it.

Bob came up with an idea to extend our privacy fence with chain link so the dogs could have a big run. This was my idea, too, and even Thomas's. But when Bob thinks it's his idea, things work better. ;-) So we're waiting for the ground to warm up enough to dig post holes. We do have to get a permit from the city first, but I don't think that will be a problem. The fence will run 20 feet deep and 30? feet -- no, it must be more -- along the side of the house. It will be a great area for them. Now, I've always wanted the whole back yard to have a privacy fence, but I'll gladly compromise with an ugly chain link for our dogs' sakes.

School wise, we're finishing up a book called Mastering Essential Math Skills: 20 Minutes a Day to Success, Book 2: Middle Grades/High School . I bought CLE before we left for Colorado, but we ended up hating it. I'll post a review someday. Next year we're going back to Rod and Staff.

Thomas has almost finished reading his life science textbook. I have three new science textbooks waiting for him for next year.

We're plugging along with writing and reading. And it's time to restart the Civil War. I'd like to spend the rest of our year on that.

So we're not covering all the bases, and I usually have tons of bases that need to be covered, but we're getting back into the swing.

Now if only I could get my house cleaned to my satisfaction. Hasn't happened yet. Haven't' caught up on laundry, either.

BUT...life is good. It's full of ups and downs, that's just the way it is, and you have to enjoy each moment, or take each moment for what it's worth -- that's how you get through it all. Didn't someone once say, That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger? We're stronger now.

Tonight Thomas and I had a discussion, that we've lightly touched on before, but we really talked about it. We saved a life. Our actions saved Grandpa's life. Now I can feel good about that. Before, I had worried that my actions caused him harm -- but I should have known how strong my dad is, and I should have listened when he said he was happy to be alive. It makes me cry. I have my dad back. How lucky am I? Thomas has his Grandpa. How lucky is he. Grandpa has been working very hard, to the point of exhaustion. He's bound and determined to get out of hte skilled nursing facility. And he will. He's a very strong, bull headed, opinionated man -- I'm a chip off that old block.

I told Thomas tonight that he is my hero. What happened was very scary, but he stepped up to the plate. When I needed to get dad to the floor to start CPR, I couldn't because I couldn't move the chair. Thomas did. Thomas got control of the puppies when the paramedics showed up and put them in their crates. Thomas ran and made sure the doors opened so they could get into the house. Thomas was a great help in saving his grandpa's life.

Yes, Thomas is my hero. He endured daily visits to the hospital, consisting of long, exhausting, boring hours. He watched his grandpa, talked to his grandpa, and was very polite. Then he would go find a waiting room where he could wiggle around and be noisey. Then he'd come back. He never once complained. He never once acted out. He was the perfect gentleman.

Yes, Thomas, you ARE a hero.

You have my permission to be whiny right now, because it's all built up from March.

I wish I had some Harry Potter flu powder to go and visit Dad right now. I think he'd tell me to get home, get the house cleaned, my bills paid, school done, etc.

As dad was getting checked out of the hospital and getting ready to move to the western slope of Colorado, he said: Go home, I don't need you anymore. That really hurt my feelings. So the next morning, as I was packing his bag for him, I asked him, "Do you really not need me anymore?" He agreed, he didn't need me. So I smiled, a big smile, and said, "But you want me, though, right? You may not need me, but you want me?" He started laughing. That was the reaction I needed. He wants me. =)

2 comments:

Becky said...

What wonderful news about your dad, and to hear you say that "life is good" -- hurray!

Good luck with the taxes and doctors.

And happy Easter :). Hope things keeping moving upwards for you all!

audrey said...

"Thomas is my hero."
Yeah, you know it! :-) He is a hero. What an amazing kid.

Hey, I also love the Easter-not-on-Easter thing you did. Lots of pagan fun. ;-)

On a very serious note: do ask your doc about the depression. Let him know your previous experiences with meds. See if he can suggest something. You have to take care of that before it gets too far. It will make all the difference in the world. I'm saying this from experience and with love.

Peace,
Audrey