Sunday, October 05, 2008

a little annoyed

I'm a little annoyed at Bob. Kinda sorta.

Thomas's birthday is Tuesday. We have everything planned and have managed, so far, to keep the secret. Bob and I sat down and discussed what we would give Thomas for his present. He wanted one Webkinz and a Sims pack. We felt -- rather, I felt that, plus the motel, was a super birthday.

Today Bob ran to Wal-mart. He came in and told me that he picked up a new bike for Thomas. He got it 50% off and couldn't resist. Plus, he used town money. He has this program where he works that gives them town money for safety points on the job. No one gets hurt, they get certificates to certain stores in our town. Bob saves them up and buys something big every now and again. So he used his town money for Thomas's bike.

Most of me is very proud that Bob did that. I asked him why he did, and he said, "Because I love my son." It makes me happy that he loves his son so much. BUT

but but but, there's always a big but in there...

To me, this crosses the line of spoiling a child. This is an expensive birthday. What will my child expect next year? How about when he's 16, will he expect us to buy him a car? Gulp, that's only three years away.

Bob gave him the bike today because all the neighborhood kids were out playing. They were riding bikes, so Bob knew that he would enjoy it this afternoon. And he did.

Thomas is thrilled beyond belief.

I just smiled and didn't let on I was annoyed. I saved that for the blog.

I won't say anything, ever. Bob rarely reads the blog anyway.

I'm just annoyed that we made a decision, jointly, as parents, and Bob deviated.

But, it is a cool bike.

sigh I'm usually the one to spoil. Go figure.


Elisheva Hannah Levin said...

Oh, Frankie, sometimes something above and beyond makes a person feel rich and special, rather than spoiled. It may not set up an expectation for next year. Next year, is, after all, next year.

And you had such a rotten year past, too. Maybe a little something extra this time is something to feed the soul--both Bob's and Thomas's.

Happy Birthday, Thomas!

Heather said...

If this is way more than you normally do for birthdays, and what you intend in the future, I'd just make sure I told him, "We wanted to you have a super-great-extra-special birthday because you're a teenager now. That's a big deal." Not just a birthday, but a milestone.

And it probably wasn't supposed to, but "town money" made me laugh. Reminds me of the rural areas I grew up around where people say, "I bought it in town." Not any specific town, just "town." And town is often UP around here. Like, "Where's Joe? He's up in town." or, "I'm going up to town." Funny stuff.

Becky said...

Happy Birthday to Thomas :).

You know, if that kid didn't have such a level head on his shoulders, and understand what a hard year your family has had, and know what a hard year he's had, I *might* worry about spoiling, but under the circumstances no. And that's without knowing what the heck Webkinz and Sims are. It's not like you got him a new laptop, a flat screen TV and an iPod lol.

Kate in NJ said...

LOL, This is what happens here too!
We discuss the common sense thing to do, and DH gets all excited about something he sees, or she asks for, and just gets it. Part of me loves how much he loves her, part of me goes.."are you nuts?" Especially since my DH is the one always going
on about children having too much today..blah blah blah. ;-)
I agree with the's a milestone year and you have all had a hard year.Our general rule is a "big" gift every other year.
One year big gift for year it's Christmas. Not too big, although last year she got a real acoustic/electric guitar for her b-day.;-)This year she got a small bday gift, so "Santa" will have to "pony up". ;-)

Carole said...

Frankie I really agree with the other commenters. DH has done this too and it is annoying, but looking back on it, the boys always enjoyed those gifts the best. Not just cause Dad had picked it out but cause the item really did meet their need at the time.

Childhood is so fleeting, and Thomas and you had a really tough year so maybe DH was thinking about that too. Enjoy, be happy.

I hope that you are having a wonderful party.

Happy Birthday Thomas!

Astreil said...

I'd leave this one be. A bike is good exercise and helps the body in other ways, too. Since he's older, 13?, he should be able to understand that not every birthday can be as extravagant.