Saturday, October 11, 2008

Saturday Morning

I'm enjoying a slow morning, sipping my coffee, catching up on the internet.

All of a sudden I hear noise outside. It's my crazy next-door neighbor. The one with the poodle that doesn't stop barking.

What's he doing today? He's vacuuming the street. He's done our side and the other side. He's vacuuming the gutters free of leaves, so he can put them in his garden. At least that's what he tells people.

These are the neighbors that wash their house every month. On the outside. They wash out their garage on a weekly basis. They wash and wax their cars on a weekly basis. They wash and wax their 5th-wheeler on a weekly basis, but they only use it once a year.

These are the neighbors that hate disorder. They mow their lawn twice a week, three times if he feels the need. I'm not kidding, either. And it's usually three times a week.

These are the neighbors that are constantly spraying chemicals on their lawn.

These people have no children, and don't give a hoot about the environment. They use a leaf blower to blow all the grass clippings into the street, which is illegal here. We have five lakes in this town, and the grass clippings promote algae.

I used to get mad at them, because they're loud. They're always using some gas-powered appliance outside making noise, stinking up the air. Now I just see them as funny.

The leaves are just beginning to fall here. They'll be done the end of the month. These neighbors will be vacuuming the streets every day. And I'll laugh, because it looks so silly. I know them, I know that they use the excuse "it's for our garden" but in reality, they are bored, young retirees that have nothing better to do. These people cannot stand disorder. That's why he vacuums the leaves from the street.


Carole said...

I have two neighbors like that. Drives us crazy too. The folks across the street, God love 'em, are retirees too, mow their grass 3x a week, celebrates when it rains so the grass will grow and he can mow it. And he always mows on weekdays, early, when we are trying to do school.

Wish they would ask what we'd like them to do around our place cause I would keep them busy until the cows come home. To have so much time. Naw, I know I'd be doing something other than cleaning up leaves.

Heather said...

The neighbor of one of my friends goes out after every mow with yard shears to clip, one by one, any blade of grass that the mower missed. Not one blade may be more than two inches tall. Not ONE.

Seriously, I think stuff like this is sooo sad. Maybe annoying, maybe funny too, but also sad. Imagine having nothing better to do than clip grass with yard shears or vacuum the street?

Red said...

Can anyone say OCD? These people have to make up for something in their lives so obsessiveness it is.
Want to freak them out?

Go outside when he is doing the illegal leaf blowing, clipboard in hand with a sheet of paper on it and start writing stuff on your paper...could be doodling for all he knows, then quietly walk back into your house.