Sunday, November 26, 2006

Unhappy Momma

I'm not a happy momma. Nope.

Friday, my sister-in-law asked if Thomas would like to go with her husband, son and another cousin to their house for the weekend. NO, I uttered. Their home is four hours from where we are staying.

I got lectured that I need to let go and let him experience life and quit worrying. I got chided (spg?) by my husband. I got pissed and told my husband it was up to him.

Thomas went.

He has ragged on me the entire weekend. I have not said one word about Thomas at all, but the teasing will not stop.

Now it's not that I don't trust my BIL, I do. I know Thomas will have fun. The whole point is why on earth did they need to drive four hours away when they were already at grandma's house having fun? In fact, they could have more fun at grandma's because grandma lives on 30 acres, has a cave, has a spring, has a creek. The boys were building a fort outside. They were having a blast here.

I have caught nothing but flack from almost every family member. There are 20 family members here, minus the three boys and BIL.

So here's the funny part. I finally asked my SIL *why* she wanted the boys to go to her home. Well, my sisters pick on my son and he gets upset and stressed out over it, so I just don't want him around that.

Okay, so is it me being overprotective or is it her?

This SIL is a public school teacher. I have had to endure the "homeschooled kids who enter the public school are always behind" BS the entire weekend. Did you all know that I am the only homeschool mother that is good? The rest don't put any thought into their children's educations. The rest don't educate their children.

The worst about all the homeschool talk has been that I cannot seem to come up with a good comeback. I sit there looking stupid, because I can't counter her. I guess I'm so shocked by what she says.

She wanted to know when we were putting Thomas back in public school. I smiled and said I didn't know. How about: WHEN HELL FREEZES OVER?

I think someone needs to make a list of anti-homeschool comebacks. I want to memorize it.

I have a headache.


Anonymous said...

I forget who came up with the response, but one answer to any and all homeschool related questions is,"pass the bean dip." Maybe this would be a good one in your situation, just refuse to discuss it with them. You know their side of the argument, and they won't make the effort to see yours, so save yourself the stress and let them know it isn't open for discussion.

Anonymous said...

I don't have any witty comebacks. I like to use silence followed by a smile and a direct look. Many times people just sort of stand there waiting for your to response.

Ms.L said...

aww I'm sorry!
This just sucks.
I'm with Samual,just refuse to discuss it.
If you're not comfy with that just keep repeating this phrase coupled with a no-nonsese don't F with me look" We've done the research and this is what works for our family"

Carole in DE said...

Witty comebacks? I just can't do that with family and just avoid the topic with silence. My family-side has finally stopped the rhetoric although my one sis is like your sil---you're the only one who should hs BS although she 'knows' that I should not be hs'ing through high school.

Now with strangers :-)

Jo said...

I'm afraid I'm not a very good one to ask. Anytime someone says something stupid or sarcastic about homeschooling the blunt side of me comes out and I respond with "You're quite the stupid jackass aren't you?".

See, told you I'm not much help. :) Oh and if you like your inlaws then it's probably not a good thing to say. My MIL didn't like it at least. No sense of humor that one... *snort*

Actually my response to her was "You've never homeschooled and unless you've done it yourself then you really can't have a good feel for it or opinion of it. That's like me saying I think working for an airline is stupid and boring when I've never worked for one".

That shut her trap! ;)

Anonymous said...

I've got one that works great, especially with teachers. Turn it around of them, with the utmost sincerity...
"I can understand why our choice is so threatening to you. It must be very unnerving that an entire culture of people are homeeducating with great success without all that education in classroom management and group dynamics. I am sure your principal doesn't think you are part of the reason that the public education system is failing so miserably. Don't worry, most people aren't committed enough to their children to even consider homeschooling, so you will always have a job."

Then smile your biggest "don't mess with me" smile. If they try to rebutt, just reply with confidence, " I hope you don't think I am going to debate the truth versus your perceived reality here. The public education system has been around for less than 100 years, while homeschooling has been around for centuries, producing the greatest minds of our time. I am sorry if my commitment to my child makes you question your commitment to a failed system, but that is your hang-up, not mine."

I have found that people will confront you only if they think they can change your mind to suit them. I haven't been challenged about homeschooling in over five years...because I am so confident and my kids are so happy. People come to me with true questions as they are considering the lifestyle, or statements of awe, "I could never do that." Be proud of your decision to put your child, your family, and his education before all else, willinging sacrificing for the best!!!

Steph said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your father-in-law. :-( My father-in-law passed away around Thanksgiving in 2000. He was called "The Duke" (after John Wayne) :-). (((Hugs)))

I have no clever comebacks on unsolicted anti-hsing advice. It is infuriating that anyone would think SHE knows better than you what's best for your child. I like Jo's response to her MIL, though. It's apt.

I am sorry you felt pressured about the visit. As moms, I think we need to follow our instincts ("overprotective" or not) and others should honor that.

Anonymous said...

I have the same problem with my mother in law -she is to the point where she would rather my husband and I seperate that have our youngest daughter homeschooled. I have no comebacks except to say "tell the judge" which threatens me just as much. People must be pretty uncomfortable with homeschooling and their own parenting to be so defensive and pushy. I do say only time will tell and what university will be good enough to prove homeschooling works.