Thursday, October 12, 2006

Candidates for Mayor

Last night, minding my own business while shopping at Kmart, this guy came up to me. I was looking at pumpkin cake pans. He started talking about the pumpkin cupcake pans next to them. He talked and talked.

I'm thinking to myself...I'm fat, I'm in sweats, I haven't touched my makeup since early in the morning, he's not coming on to me, but WTF does he want??? (Yes, I thought the "F" word, it was so weird.) He kept chatting away, very nice, then all of a sudden he says...I have something for you. He reaches into his back pocket slowly. I kept thinking...I have to be safe, I'm in Kmart, for crying out loud. He pulls out a brochure. Whew. He's running for mayor.

He then proceeds to BS me for about 15-20 minutes. He was very nice, but also very uneducated. I just have a thing about people using poor grammar. It bugs me. Not that mine is perfect, far from it, but ain't ain't a word, ya know? lol Trying to put that aside, I listened to what he had to say. He was a rebel and wanted to make changes in our unprogressive little town. I kind of liked his spirit.

I did catch him in a falsehood -- or an uneducated assumption. He mentioned the place my husband works, not knowing I have an affiliation with it, and that their salaries aren't any higher because there is no competition in town. I smiled my evil grin and asked him if he was positive that no competition had any relevance? Oh, yes, he assured me.

Then I let him know that it didn't. I told him that the company is a Fortune 500 company, it is international, and there are three divisions in the United States. My husband would make the same no matter where he lived. That's just poppycock. And it is.

Gosh, get your facts straight before you start throwing stuff out in your campaign.

I checked his website out when I got home. Let's just say he's not a good testament to our local public schools. Every plural word he used he spelled with 's. Yup, an apostrophe S. He spelled economy "ecconomy." Actually, he had tons of misspellings. No, I won't hold all that against him, but it still gets under my skin. Hire a proofreader, for crying out loud.

So fast forward to early this afternoon. Thomas and I are snuggled in bed for reading. Okay, I admit, I'm napping and he just started Little Town on the Prairie. All of a sudden BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM -- someone is pounding on the door! Scared the you-know-what out of me. My dog went crazy. I actually had another WTF moment.

I get up, peek out the window, and no one is there. I open the door. Not a soul. I did find a brochure. Another mayoral candidate. Sheesh.

When my hubby got home, I told him about it. I told him it really ticked me off that the guy pounded on my door. I said the only time anyone pounds on my door is -- well, no one pounds on our door. I told DH that I was going to shoot off an email.

Before I emailed, I read his brochure. I liked it. He had a proofreader, that's for sure. lol I agreed with the few things mentioned on the brochure.

So I composed my email. I told him we had a doorbell and that I thought the pounding was very rude. Then I switched, told him one little problem with our city -- tiny, but something people of importance might not know about. Then I asked him his party affiliation.

Five minutes after I shot the email off, the phone rings. It's mayoral candidate number two. Apologizing profusely. Mrs. Straight, I'm so sorry, that was me. I did knock on your door. (He pounded.) He said he did that because doorbells don't always work. I'm thinking to myself it would be smart to try the doorbell first. We chatted a little bit. He didn't know about my little problem and was thankful that I mentioned it.

One of the questions I asked him in the email was his party affiliation. He told me that didn't matter for the position of mayor. I told him it mattered to me, because we need a progressive mayor for our city, and open-minded mayor, and someone who is an ultra-conservative (which our town is full of) won't be as open minded as an independent or moderate. He then told me he was a republican, but that he had democrats working on his campaign. I checked it out, it's true. So that tells me he'll be an open minded mayor. (Hopefully.)

I don't know who I'm going to vote for yet. I do know this: Mayoral candidates are a pain in the neck. The guy last night took up so much time that I didn't have time to leave Kmart and go to another store that closed at 9pm. Darn it all, I absolutely needed a new Yankee candle. And who in their right mind goes to Kmart, pretending to shop, but in actuality it is a guise to campaign. On top of that, he was going on and on about the crime problem in our little city. The crime here is horrible. I started laughing when he said that. I told him he needs to move to a big city if he wants crime. He said that we have actually had a few murders through the years and there was recently a stabbing. Now those things are awful, but I had to open my mouth again. I told him I was a court reporter for 11 years and that I had sat through more murder trials than I care to admit. I told him our community is very safe. And it is. As much as I hate this town, the one thing I will say about it is that it is very safe.

The guy today violated the peace of my home. You just don't pound on doors. It's rude.

Oh bother. I will stay informed and watch the televised mayoral debate tonight. Maybe then I can make a good decision.

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